I think that ignores the very aspect that causes the issue of the wave to begin with. Essentially with your interpretation of Copenhagen is that essentially the photon is "in more than one place" but once it collapses was "never everywhere in the first place". It was there to begin with is what am debating. The Copenhagen interpretation would mean the photon was just able to travel all those points before it instantaneously collapses to one point, this your able to reconcile by ignoring that there is even a spread.Actually all of my explanation ignores that (although it's not technically accurate to describe a wave, quantum or classical, as "a wave of points" but rather as spread-out and, simplistically, without any "points"). My reason for ignoring it (or maybe passing over it so as to focus on relativity itself) is in part because special and general relativity both ignore quantum mechanics and no sufficiently satisfactory theory of relativistic quantum physics yet exists. It is also in part because of the so-called "Copenhagen interpretation", the standard interpretation of quantum mechanics (which turns out to have different interpretations itself and while the majority of physicists working in fields like quantum mechanics give it lip-service most do not think it satisfactory). According to the Copenhagen interpretation, to ask anything about a quantum system before it is measured is meaningless. Another way to say this is that the "spread-out" nature of quantum systems is a probability function, not anything "real" (i.e., QM is irreducibly statistical). A single photon, therefore, is under the mainstream interpretation of QM a mathematical entity with no real existence or properties outside of a mathematical, abstract space.
Personally, I think that this interpretation (championed by Bohr and contested bitterly by Einstein) is a cop-out. It was a way of dealing with the fact that because things get weird if we try to interpret what the mathematics of QM says about quantum systems apart from measurements (e.g., a photon after it "passes" through the double-slit screen but before it is detected). Instead, we shouldn't even interpret the mathematical representations of QM as representations of physical systems, let alone try to figure out how they relate. I don't think this is tenable anymore, given the numerous experiments which not only demonstrate the very physical nature of quantum systems but also have shown that quantum effects such as superposition states can occur far outside the subatomic realm of QM.
This problem doesn't disappear in 4D spacetime. First, everything "warps" spacetime. Yet it is possible to demonstrate that the laws of physics (outside of QM) are the same everywhere, which is to say that relativity gives us classical results at least locally (in some frame of reference or reference frames close that their light-cones "overlap"). So locally, particles should still behave like particles and waves should not exist as actual "things" (in classical physics, waves were just the disturbance of matter; they required a medium and thus couldn't exist in a vacuum). One difference would be that light should not be a wave at all, as Einstein himself showed it can't be, but that's not a big deal. The problem, though, is that classical physics doesn't hold locally in 4D spacetime any more than in the 3D Newtonian world.
Second, if we try to use relative simultaneity to explain why it "seems" as if things like electrons and photons propagate like waves, we are left with no reason why they do and the things which they make up don't. Basically, we're still left trying to explain how we have to sets of “laws” of physics for every region of spacetime. It’s actually worse, because we can’t show that the properties of QM are the same in every reference frame without changing both relativity and QM mostly by fiddling with equations.
Third, if quantum systems somehow “warp” spacetime in some way such that they are able to exist in two points at once, they still exist at two points at once. They do that anyway (superposition) so we haven’t resolved anything we’ve just invented a fix that turns out to mess up relativity instead. On the other hand, if we try to think of e.g., photons as particles that can appear to be waves because they are only ever at one point in spacetime but somehow “not our spacetime” then we’ve willed another cosmos into existence without any way to explain how it is supposed to make up our own. Spacetime is spacetime- there isn’t one for us and one for quantum systems (which are supposed to be the “stuff” that make up what we are anyway). There is no ‘other” spacetime just different ways to “slice up” spacetime. However, every different possible “slice” can be put into a single “whole” such that all the differences among reference frames concerning e.g. the time of events, time dilation, length dilation, etc., are resolved (this is mainly what special relativity is: the resolution of these would-be paradoxes). The ways in which a single spacetime can be “sliced” to explain the different measurements among different reference frames falls apart at the quantum level.
I agree with all of what your saying. Relativity and spacetime reconciles the mystery of how something can be in more than one point in space, I think when things are in a quantum state it is essentially like the photon being the speed of light and outside spacetime, so of course we would sense a paradox. However if I leap across the universe using those physics it would be real, and in theory I could reach any point.