Please help me

Rebecca H · May 23, 2018

Hi

Really in need of some help.
A few months ago I had thoughts in my head by who i was told God telling me I was going to die soon and go to hell and my family will all turn their backs on me.
Recently I’ve found out I’m actually
Dying and haven’t got long left! I’ve been seeing the number of the beast on posters (I saw a nhs emergency fire poster today with 666 on instead of 999. I’ve been seeing ravens even though they aren’t supposed to live in my area, my rosaries have been broken 3 timesand 1 of them had holy water in that just disappeared.
I’ve broken all 10 commandments ( the murder was 2 abortions), I’ve been selfish all of my life and many people have suffered because of me. I don’t want to be like this. I’ve asked god for forgiveness but the thoughts in my head from God are saying I don’t have forgiveness. And something deep down is a feeling I’m not sorry even though I want to be! I’ve been bad since I was a child and so selfish. I’m going to hell and have let everyone down. I don’t want to be the person I am. Can’t cope with this. I’ve had too many signs. What do I do?

Becky

osgart · May 23, 2018

I dont believe in hell. But isnt wanting to be sorry, sorry.

Rebecca H · May 23, 2018

This is real what’s happening it is

danieldemol · May 23, 2018

Hi Becky,
You seem to have an unusually low self esteem. You should know that God loves you and none of the things you listed as signs are going to send you to hell.
Have you considered telling a psychiatrist about your problems?

Kapalika · May 23, 2018

That's a lot to unload... you probably don't want my advice, but I feel it's worth pointing out, that you sound very much like you are Catholic and believe, so I don't think these signs can be trusted.

I don't believe in Christian theology and I'm not expert on Catholicism but it sounds like something's lying to you as I don't think that, according to Christianity, your god should be saying these things to you since you've prayed so much about it and desperately want salvation. You're not a bad person and you are honestly crying out for God. I don't think according to your religion these things should be happening hence i think something (perhaps a spirit or some emotional problem manifesting itself spiritually) is causing you to see and hear these things.

I would recommend one of two extremes... either you either see a well educated priest AND a therapist (just to be safe). I don't know the nature of why you are dying, for all I know it's another lie being told to you by a spirit (unless it's from a doctor).The other extreme would be to consider just leaving Christianity to get away from it all.

Eight years ago I had a similar type of experience but I came out of it as a Satanist (although I wasn't a Christian before becoming a Satanist, so I can't say my experience was just like yours is), and was much happier for it. What you will do will come down to where your heart really lies.

Anyways, I wish you best of luck. I wish I could say more to help you.

Rebecca H · May 23, 2018

I’m dying. This is what I’m experiencing.

osgart · May 23, 2018

I know for me, i keep a journal and i write out how i truly feel on paper just to remind myself of something i want to affirm to myself.

I know people that have trauma like that and its due to mental illness. Best to seek professional help for that.

But otherwise i suggest art, or some form of expression, where you can pour out your best intentions.

Perhaps write someone you love a letter.

Things like that

No matter how you feel, its best to do something positive, even if you have to force yourself to do something positive.

danieldemol · May 23, 2018

I’m sorry to hear that you are dying, trained psychiatrist may help you deal with your final moments better, no one wants to spend their last days with undue fear surely?

Kapalika · May 23, 2018

Can I ask what you are dying from? I don't doubt for a moment you are experiencing these things.

YmirGF · May 23, 2018

Dare I ask how old you are, Becky? Also, as @Kapalika asked what is the nature of your illness?

Dawnofhope · May 23, 2018

Sorry to hear you are dying and feeling so miserable about your life. It takes a lot of courage to share how you are feeling and your honesty and sincerity are commendable. Telling your story as you have is a reminder to us all not to take life for granted and how death can come upon any of us at any time. I think you make best of each day and sharing your story as you have is an example of small acts that could positively affect another or touch someone’s life. In my faith the lowest of sinners could turn towards God at the last hour with utmost sincerity and find redemption. Then again none of knows for sure what happens beyond this world. Thanks for posting.

Jumi · May 23, 2018

You are seeing hallucinations? What does your doctor say about all this?

exchemist · May 23, 2018

You might find it helpful to talk to an intelligent Catholic priest, if you can find one. If there is a Jesuit church anywhere near you that would be a good place to make enquiries. You sound like the sort of person who might find the Sacrament of Reconciliation (what we used to call confession) helps. Or you may just want to talk to someone who can reassure you. At least it will allow to get all this guilt and worry out of your system to a sympathetic ear. You won't go to Hell (if there is one), though. I'm sure of that, just from the way you write.

One thing I have learnt, in my own long-ish life, is that however unsatisfactory you may think you are, you frequently discover there are hundreds or thousands just like you, so you are perfectly normal and in good company!

Don't worry about "signs". That is just superstition. When we are worried we often imagine significance in events when there is really none. Your preoccupation with them is however itself a sign: a sign that you need to talk to someone about your fears.

james blunt · May 23, 2018

Dear Rebecca ,
In life most of us have regret , we as humans are not the perfect species we think we are. I am sorry to hear about your unfortunate bad news, this makes me feel sad.
Your bad news will cause you to experience all sort of mental things, the wondering of what next and if you are going to be judged.
In this you are looking for God to find forgiveness although you do not feel deeply you should be forgiven. God recognises your deep sub-conscious remorse, it is never too late for forgiveness, God forgives you , for the world is not a place that you made. God apologies for giving you a life that turned out to be hell on Earth, God is sorry it was not the Eden God had intended.
Fear not for your electrical soul will join the cosmos and be forever as nothing is ever truly lost, it is reformed. You are forgiven and God will wait for you .

Walk on earth these final days
Walk through life's final maze
Find the end
Be at rest
Pass the final test
Admit your life regrets
heaven awaits
Its not too late
I am standing at the gates
Look, here is your old mates
Step through the gate
You were not too late
Wait!
One more thing to say
Look up high
Smile and have a good day

Kiss of Mystery · May 23, 2018

Morning Becky...sounds like a lot of guilt, and fear stemming from that. I was raised a Christian and have had many crossroads in my life. God isn't the author of guilt and fear..and He forgives if a heart is sincere and repents. Theres only one unforgiveable sin. Shake off what don't belong..hold your head up and keep faith my friend

stvdv · May 23, 2018

Hello Becky,

That's a devastating message you got. We all know 1 day it will come, but when doctors tell, one still freaks out, specially when just 37 years old. I can't imagine what you go through now, so wish you all the love and strength you need.

1 key to interpret good voices that I use is: "It should be loving not scary". If it upsets you too much then it's not from God or it is from God but your fear-mind took over the interpretation. That helped me to not freak out with all these voices when this happened to me years ago.

Love, Peace and Blessings to you Becky
Namastee

Spiderman · May 23, 2018

God does not condemn you.

Trust in his mercy, and his Justice will not strike you.

You are probably under attack by Wicked, deceptive, delusional spirits.

make a good confession, and God will forget everything

PureX · May 23, 2018

The thoughts in your head are not from God. They are you, punishing yourself, because you feel guilty.

So stop it. Stop playing God in your own head and just let the guilt, go. Leave it to the real God to deal with. And if you are a Christian, then you understand that you are ALREADY FORGIVEN. Christ has seen to it. So forgive yourself, and go do some good for others with whatever time you have left.

Trackdayguy · May 23, 2018

Very sorry to hear your news, can I encourage you as others have done to seek psychiatric help.

Thief · May 23, 2018

remain calm

you are not likely to undo these things that now trouble your mind and heart

but you can move to peace
use the time you have to consider the next life and prep for it

Do unto others as you would have it done to you
a little goes a long way

that you posted as you have......I see good things coming your way

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