Polygamy and Polyandry - You decide

[Draka]

in generale i am with you the man who slap a woman is not man. he is cheap .

but i am talking about a man with his wife (lover woman).
sorry i am not accuatly i did not try to provoke you as women , but it's reality not something writen in webpages , and i am taking/claim as my experience .
I am not said that it's right"but it's prefered " when someone slap his lover when she got wrong with him .

Bull. Is it okay for a woman to slap her husband when he is wrong? There is no reason for a man to slap his wife. It's abuse and it's wrong and it only proves the man in question to be an abusive douche.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Bull. Is it okay for a woman to slap her husband when he is wrong? There is no reason for a man to slap his wife. It's abuse and it's wrong and it only proves the man in question to be an abusive douche.

I believe you are seeing a culture that has extremely different views on the subject and projecting our values and morals on top of it. While I agree with you that it is wrong and abusive it is also wrong to assume such a perception is natural and world wide. Try seeing the situation through the cultural lenses of the other person, not to find agreement, but to at least understand that the perception is different and let that understanding guide your discussion.

 

[Me Myself]

Bull. Is it okay for a woman to slap her husband when he is wrong? There is no reason for a man to slap his wife. It's abuse and it's wrong and it only proves the man in question to be an abusive douche.

I would argue that it depends on the place, intensity and intent of the slap

 

[Godobeyer]

Then your experience has been with women who were so abused and taught that was okay that they didn't believe they deserved any better. No woman truly likes to be hit. It does not make a man a "man" to hit a woman...ever. Any man who does, or believes that way, is a coward and has no business even being around a woman. Flat out, if you hit a woman you are not a man, you are nothing.

I am against to hit any woman , and i am with you if the man hit woman , he is cheap

and even if they lovers , the slap not all the time and for no reason . this lover/husband man is cheap also

but accuatly , it's my experience, it's secret key between two lovers , and i am sure about that .

 

[Draka]

I believe you are seeing a culture that has extremely different views on the subject and projecting our values and morals on top of it. While I agree with you that it is wrong and abusive it is also wrong to assume such a perception is natural and world wide. Try seeing the situation through the cultural lenses of the other person, not to find agreement, but to at least understand that the perception is different and let that understanding guide your discussion.

Sorry, can't do that. If I accept that his view is just the culture then I will only see his entire culture and belief system as one that promotes abuse towards women. I have to believe that not everyone who shares his culture and belief system believes like that. I have to...unless I end up hating a whole culture and religion. I'm speaking as a formerly abused woman. I find NOTHING acceptable in slapping around a woman. Nothing.

 

[Draka]

I would argue that it depends on the place, intensity and intent of the slap

I think we can tell we are not talking sexually or the like. He specifically said "if she is wrong". Like it is upon the husband to punish his wife by slapping her or otherwise hitting her to put her back in "her place".

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Sorry, can't do that. If I accept that his view is just the culture then I will only see his entire culture and belief system as one that promotes abuse towards women. I have to believe that not everyone who shares his culture and belief system believes like that. I have to...unless I end up hating a whole culture and religion. I'm speaking as a formerly abused woman. I find NOTHING acceptable in slapping around a woman. Nothing.

I didn't say accept, I said understand. Also understand that this doesn't define the culture but is merely a part of it. It was a part of our culture until not so long ago. There were laws concerning the proper amount of beating a husband was allowed to use to discipline his wife. Understanding this is a part of a culture is not the same as accepting it, but it does allow for working towards changing that culture rather than simply putting it off as an individuals problem.

 

[Me Myself]

I think we can tell we are not talking sexually or the like. He specifically said "if she is wrong". Like it is upon the husband to punish his wife by slapping her or otherwise hitting her to put her back in "her place".

I agree with you, I was just trying to lighten up the mood.

I am actually with Trey of Diamonds though. I don´t like the costume and wouldn´t do it, but GO is from a different culture and ... well Trey put it perfectly IMO.

 

[Godobeyer]

Bull. Is it okay for a woman to slap her husband when he is wrong? There is no reason for a man to slap his wife. It's abuse and it's wrong and it only proves the man in question to be an abusive douche.

for me it's ok that woman slap her husband if he get wrong with her, but should be the first and last slap (end of relation )

i am not talking about abused man , which hit his wife with reason or without .
this is cheap man .

edited :
honesly it's experience , acuatly some girls accept to slap and others not , and other slap her husband , this is refer to the personlity of each girl and the personlity of the man .

i am talking about the secret key that made the woman love more and more her MAN . "slap of love"

 

[idav]

What multiple consenting adults do is their business but I don't think getting marriage involved is necessary.

 

[Draka]

I didn't say accept, I said understand. Also understand that this doesn't define the culture but is merely a part of it. It was a part of our culture until not so long ago. There were laws concerning the proper amount of beating a husband was allowed to use to discipline his wife. Understanding this is a part of a culture is not the same as accepting it, but it does allow for working towards changing that culture rather than simply putting it off as an individuals problem.

I admit I am biased. I can't help that. However, I also don't believe a culture can be changed without first changing the minds of the individuals which make up that culture. The more individuals within a culture change their minds about something accepted within the culture, the more prone the culture is to change from within.

 

[Draka]

for me it's ok that woman slap her husband if he get wrong with her, but should be the first and last slap (end of relation )

Why is it not the end of a relationship if the man slaps the woman?

i am talking about the secret key that made the woman love more and more her MAN . "slap of love"[/COLOR]

There is no such thing as a "slap of love".

 

[Me Myself]

Every right a man can have women can have.

If man can marry many women, women should be able to marry many women Er I mean, men. That would be the equivalent I guess... for them :ninja:

 

[Godobeyer]

Why is it not the end of a relationship if the man slaps the woman?

that refer to the woman also , I am talking about my sefl (i said for me )
edited : intersting question , why some women accept to be slaps ?

There is no such thing as a "slap of love".

maybe for you , but for me i am sure about that .

 

[Me Myself]

that refer to the woman also , I am talking about my sefl (i said for me )
edited : intersting question , why some women accept to be slaps ?

Why some men accept to be slapped?

The same answer for both questions:

Because they are accepting abuse.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Interesting how threads can take a life of their own.

Spousal-slapping that is strictly mandated by a society is abusive. But let me throw in here that if between lovers/spouses, there is an agreement of either a hint of BDSM, power play, use of punishment.....that's their business. I have no doubt that some women prefer to be punished for doing wrong by their dominant spouse. Some men prefer to be punished by their dominant spouse as well.

And I'm speaking from experience as a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Just.....don't paint a broad brush across a whole society saying that it should be mandated that a husband is to slap his wife around. As a domme in my own house, that would NOT go over well at all. I have whips, and I know how to use them.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

I admit I am biased. I can't help that. However, I also don't believe a culture can be changed without first changing the minds of the individuals which make up that culture. The more individuals within a culture change their minds about something accepted within the culture, the more prone the culture is to change from within.

Exactly right. But to change the individuals minds you must first understand that their perceptions are cultural, otherwise you will have trouble discussing the matter. When you are trying to change something as drastic as a culture you have to first find commond ground. If you approach the issue without attempting understand the reasons for the individuals actions you will find it very hard to convince them that those actions are wrong. Walk a mile in their shoes before offering alternative footwear.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Now sit down and eat the rest of your ABC soup.

Only if you feed it to me.

Num, num.

 

[Me Myself]

Interesting how threads can take a life of their own.

Spousal-slapping that is strictly mandated by a society is abusive. But let me throw in here that if between lovers/spouses, there is an agreement of either a hint of BDSM, power play, use of punishment.....that's their business. I have no doubt that some women prefer to be punished for doing wrong by their dominant spouse. Some men prefer to be punished by their dominant spouse as well.

And I'm speaking from experience as a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Just.....don't paint a broad brush across a whole society saying that it should be mandated that a husband is to slap his wife around. As a domme in my own house, that would NOT go over well at all. I have whips, and I know how to use them.

Heh! interesting. True indeed, I guess the most important part is the mutual agreement

 

[Draka]

Exactly right. But to change the individuals minds you must first understand that their perceptions are cultural, otherwise you will have trouble discussing the matter. When you are trying to change something as drastic as a culture you have to first find commond ground. If you approach the issue without attempting understand the reasons for the individuals actions you will find it very hard to convince them that those actions are wrong. Walk a mile in their shoes before offering alternative footwear.

Thus the reason I have started a separate thread about this.