zombieharlot said:
I think that to some extent I can decide what is a part of me, but not fully. What I am saying is that I would be unhappy following Christ because of all of the "sin" I would have to leave behind.
Emmm...
The only thing you should understand to cope with this, is that what you gain being with God is beyond comparison with what you lose; and reversely, what you lose not being with God (now and in the eternity) is not to be compared with what makes you happy ('happy'?) now...
zombieharlot said:
You're the one that said I need to cope with my problems.
Yes, I did, and I say it again.
More that that: you
need and you
can cope.
zombieharlot said:
I've honestly done it since I was five years old. Even then, I would sneak around wearing my sister's clothing.
I myself was wetting my pants in childhood. But am doing this no more, since I'm no more child.
As a child, you didn't need a reason to do something, you were doing anything
just because - not so now, when you're adult.
zombieharlot said:
I've grown up hating a lot of things that are considered masculine. And despite what some people might think at first, I look at myself as a male.
Me too - I mean a hate many, you know,
masculine things - being
macho, boasting of love affairs, discussing expensive cars etc, but I think that it is not what
really masuline.
zombieharlot said:
I don't wish I was a female or anything like that. I'm even a heterosexual, which is counter intuitive to what some people think.
Not very, but rather yes.
zombieharlot said:
I just don't understand why we have to have these gender "roles".
Why the Earth revolves around the Sun? Why we have that?
Why should we eat?
Why do we see by eyes and hear by ears, and not the opposite?
Why?...
Shortly: God has created man and woman.
I'm a man, and should say that I love what you call 'having roles'. I mean, I enjoy communicating with women, and cannot imagine the world any other way...
zombieharlot said:
Cross-dressing just makes me feel good about myself. Now apply this to what I first said in this post about leaving "sin" behind.
Don't think that I had been saint
before I became saint.
I had to leave behind (and struggle with others just until right now) many things that pleased me much, very much.
zombieharlot said:
I know as far as psychology is concerned that cause and effect relationships and personal influence and choice relationships are two different things. But with the way I view predestination, the type of relationship doesn't even matter.
It must some revolutionary new way, because I can clearly see, that the type of relationships matters a lot.
Actually, if we had only CAUSE-EFFECT relationships (C/Er) - we would be predestined to go somewhere.
Now that we have PERSONAL CHOICE relationships (PCr) in the world based on C/Er, - we are not
predestined to go anywhere.
zombieharlot said:
It's still very much the case. The difference now is that I've grown quite far apart from my mother. I repress myself a great deal because she won't let me believe differently. Anything that contracts with her beliefs becomes a huge issue. Repression is my answer.
Okay, so we have a battle of two repressions. Its no-win situation.
She presses you to believe something, not giving any proofs nor ground for the belief (which is destructive and illogocal, let alone its being unbiblical at all); in your turn, you just refuse and resist (which is not mature; illogical; not constructive; unbiblical...)
zombieharlot said:
Exactly my point! If she wasn't so concerned with me doing things her way, then I would be allowed to go to other churches where I am more comfortable and can still learn the "truth".
Okay, but two points:
1)
Comfortable is not a very good term to be used here... You can be lulled in a false sense of comfort an security... but there would be still a problem.
2) The truth is worthwhile, not 'truth'. You can start to learn the truth even not going anywhere. By the way, what denomination does your mother belongs to?
zombieharlot said:
Even if you like a subject matter, it isn't enjoyable if you're discussing it with people you aren't fond of.
Agree.
But don't let personal matters prevent your from doing what is the best for you.
zombieharlot said:
Perhaps. But the example that has been set before me by God Himself isn't a very good one. My mother being the example.
Example of what? Good example or bad example?
Pattern of how to act or how not to act?
Let's decide on that...
If she's a bad example of a person who ruins her child spiritually, try not to follow this example, but don't refuse just anything indiscriminately.
zombieharlot said:
I'm not getting the two confused. You may program a robot to behave a certain way, but you may not have to tell it what to do. Just like this, God has created me a certain way and knows what my bahaviors and choices are and will be.
Yes, but He expects you to do correct choices.
God has created you to be with Him - here and in eternity. He has opened the door, you may just do one step to come in.
zombieharlot said:
Absolutely not? Any proof?
This is a part of God's character. He's Truthful, and no there's no lie in Him. By definition...
zombieharlot said:
Sounds to me like you're saying salvation is gained in apathy.
Negative
I mean to say that you should find the happy medium... the golden mean, and not let you feelings distort you ability to think logically.