Problems with Social Life

[Akshara Dasa]

And Im going to bed now. Good Night.

I cant sleep.

suffering stems from desire. happiness stems from the desires of others...the way i see it.

Not the way I see it. But i put the blame on myself, maybe I havnt realized it yet.

In my opinion, the practice of self-denial is a symptome of the desire for control. perhaps you should get a nice puppy or something to remind you of what you truely are...a HUMAN Being.

Its not a desire of control, its to remove distractions. And the past few weeks have really come to show that im not a human. Im not this body, im something else. Being has for form. I cant hold on to it. But I can feel it. Its a presense, it has no form. This body has a form, how can the body produce a formless feeling? It cant. This shows im not the body.

Being is so pointless, it is also a distraction...and you will find that it is transient aswell.

Nope its not transient. Being cannot go into non-being, simply because it is Being. Being cant become non-being, therefore Being is eternal. My Being hasnt changed at all sense birth, im comming to realize that. All change only occured in thoughts. I was, am right now, and always will, be.

there is no way to surrender to something if you don't exist as a self. perhaps you are being selfish, perhaps you should begin to share the Bliss of Being.
more than that, you are fooling yourself, one always surrenders to Being.

No, not everyone surrenders to Being, if everyone did there would be no suffering. And yes I am being selfish, if you want to say dissolving into oneself is selfish, then yes, im very very selfish. And perhaps I am fooling myself, but its so blissful, so beautiful. we can see very easly that ignorance does not give off to happiness, bliss, or anything like that. It many appear that way, but thats just what it is, an appearance.

 

[Luminous]

Not the way I see it. But i put the blame on myself, maybe I havnt realized it yet.

i was sort of holding back, because i believe happiness can stem from the desire of the self as well. accomplished desire...brings happiness, and leads to new desire.

Its not a desire of control, its to remove distractions.

what is the point of labeling and removing distractions if not to gain control?

And the past few weeks have really come to show that im not a human. Im not this body, im something else. Being has for form. I cant hold on to it. But I can feel it. Its a presense, it has no form. This body has a form, how can the body produce a formless feeling? It cant. This shows im not the body.

i believe that the body can produce a formless feeling, i have very little reason to doubt that believe... i also believe that without your physical being, you would not experience Being. If your desire is to cease to experience, then your desire will never achieve its goal...happiness.

Nope its not transient. Being cannot go into non-being, simply because it is Being. Being cant become non-being, therefore Being is eternal. My Being hasnt changed at all sense birth, im comming to realize that. All change only occured in thoughts. I was, am right now, and always will, be.

This reminds me of the old saying: "if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it..."
in any case, i believe you are right: all change only occured in thoughts.

No, not everyone surrenders to Being, if everyone did there would be no suffering. And yes I am being selfish, if you want to say dissolving into oneself is selfish, then yes, im very very selfish.

Thank you, this explains more to me of how you see Being. But like i said before, you cannot surrender to Being if you do not have a self to surrender.

And perhaps I am fooling myself, but its so blissful, so beautiful. we can see very easly that ignorance does not give off to happiness, bliss, or anything like that. It many appear that way, but thats just what it is, an appearance.

And appearances can be deceiving...or telling...or both. This however, does not give you an excuse to denounce your fellow beings, (which is what i see you are doing) by labeling us as distractions in your endless grasp at your desire for control...your desire for your misconstrude definition of Being. How can one be a self without Being, how can one be Being with out a self?

 

[DreadFish]

Ok so, this may not be what your looking for, but I felt like going ahead and posting it.
I think its important not to put aside the world and absorb yourself into this, its important to expand this to express love to others. Theres nothing transient in giving yourself in service to others, that is very important, and if one were to put aside others just to stay in their own happy place then they havent done anything very meaningful have they? My dad met the Sikh master Sant Darshan Singh, and he talked about how its necessary to be a part of life and though it may be wonderful to be absorbed in meditation, we cant stay there forever. He also taught what was called "positive mysticism" and its along the same lines, not isolating ones self, but helping the community. Thats very important, because we arent totally individual. If it werent for others one may not be able to have the opportunity to be able to experience this "Being" as you call it. One might have to focus on surviving and getting food and shelter.

Basically, its necessary to do other things. So you have no interest in girls, no problem, thats not necessary, but if you do nothing else, get yourself involved in helping others, that gets you involved in the world in a positive non distracting way. Sometimes it is necessary to be alone and away from things, but its not permanent. Theres a time for everything.

Hope this helps in some way

 

[Zeroa]

Perhaps you should just go out and enjoy feeling the oneness of the other people you're with. They aren't their bodies either. Wouldn't it be nice to take your new perception with you everywhere and see nothing but Being, no matter where you are? Perhaps the next step is to go out and not be distracted by the illusion that there's some barrier or difference between yourself and anything or anyone else.

Just a thought. Probably not even a good one.

 

[Onkara]

Perhaps you should just go out and enjoy feeling the oneness of the other people you're with. They aren't their bodies either. Wouldn't it be nice to take your new perception with you everywhere and see nothing but Being, no matter where you are? Perhaps the next step is to go out and not be distracted by the illusion that there's some barrier or difference between yourself and anything or anyone else.

Absolutely!

Being
Now life really begins, now that you come to find you are were and will always be being itself. Now the sense of Mr Smith, personality, is something you have rather than something you are limited to, you can begin to live through Mr Smith. It is empowering, like a painter with a fresh blank canvas... let your divine imagination guide you, paint the universe with love, cry "Aham Brahmasi!" embrace your family with love no matter what has past, go to school with the passion like a man who's destiny it is to govern a country...

Nothing can stop the being (sat) and with the being comes bliss (ananda), know it (chit)! It will come to a point where you will rest in the being-bliss, sure you will have to concentrate, that will just happen like it happened to understand philosophy, but when your mind lifts off, whammm... back to being bliss: our true nature.

What greater prize, what higher reward, no task is too minimal or too challenging for you, for you are the source of all tasks. Meet new people. Exercise and eat well, the body is the temple of being-ness, may it long last! Take on each challenge not for your personal gain in mind, which you no longer desire (Mr Smith's result) but for existence, for love of divine being, for that which sustains and holds all bodies, as said above. That the purpose!

Dedicate the efforts and results of school work to divine being-ness, embrace passion to get it done if necessary, make your family feel happy and at peace, that is the point of existence: unlimited unconditional love. Like a flower it's nature is to open its petals, be beautiful and bring a smile to all who look at it :flower: Make other beings happy with blissful presence alone, if it means concentrating at school or getting a well paid job, then that is not minimal nor distracting but rather just another day being bliss, you are not the doer, being-ness is, attentively flow with it; ¡Be!. :foryou:


:flower:

 

[Akshara Dasa]

Basically, its necessary to do other things. So you have no interest in girls, no problem, thats not necessary, but if you do nothing else, get yourself involved in helping others, that gets you involved in the world in a positive non distracting way. Sometimes it is necessary to be alone and away from things, but its not permanent. Theres a time for everything.

Hope this helps in some way

Deep down I have always been extremely devotional . I guess that I can spread that devotion to helping others!

Perhaps you should just go out and enjoy feeling the oneness of the other people you're with. They aren't their bodies either. Wouldn't it be nice to take your new perception with you everywhere and see nothing but Being, no matter where you are? Perhaps the next step is to go out and not be distracted by the illusion that there's some barrier or difference between yourself and anything or anyone else.

Just a thought. Probably not even a good one.

Sounds good. Actually, it sounds great. But, im not there yet. Before I do this I must first firmly ground myself in Being.

Absolutely!

Being
Now life really begins, now that you come to find you are were and will always be being itself. Now the sense of Mr Smith, personality, is something you have rather than something you are limited to, you can begin to live through Mr Smith. It is empowering, like a painter with a fresh blank canvas... let your divine imagination guide you, paint the universe with love, cry "Aham Brahmasi!" embrace your family with love no matter what has past, go to school with the passion like a man who's destiny it is to govern a country...

Nothing can stop the being (sat) and with the being comes bliss (ananda), know it (chit)! It will come to a point where you will rest in the being-bliss, sure you will have to concentrate, that will just happen like it happened to understand philosophy, but when your mind lifts off, whammm... back to being bliss: our true nature.

What greater prize, what higher reward, no task is too minimal or too challenging for you, for you are the source of all tasks. Meet new people. Exercise and eat well, the body is the temple of being-ness, may it long last! Take on each challenge not for your personal gain in mind, which you no longer desire (Mr Smith's result) but for existence, for love of divine being, for that which sustains and holds all bodies, as said above. That the purpose!

Dedicate the efforts and results of school work to divine being-ness, embrace passion to get it done if necessary, make your family feel happy and at peace, that is the point of existence: unlimited unconditional love. Like a flower it's nature is to open its petals, be beautiful and bring a smile to all who look at it :flower: Make other beings happy with blissful presence alone, if it means concentrating at school or getting a well paid job, then that is not minimal nor distracting but rather just another day being bliss, you are not the doer, being-ness is, attentively flow with it; ¡Be!. :foryou:


:flower:

Thank you very much Onkarah. But, I cant do that with school anymore. I dropped out of school and am now getting my GED. So I guess i can just get a job and work in complete bliss though!


Also, thankyou to all who have talked to me about this. I really appreciate your help so far!

 

[Rainbow Mage]

Being but I still think personally you're trying to live out a level of asceticism that doesn't suit you. You spoke in the OP if how your family worries about you because you've become so distant. You shouldn't do that to your family, after all, they're also part of Brahman. You should enjoy your time with your family and understand that is part of the oneness of Brahman, good times with people. Enjoyment and indulgence isn't outside Brahman, otherwise no one would experience it.

 

[YmirGF]

Being, I don't know that you will like my thoughts on all this, but heck, hopefully you will take what I say to heart. I will try to not be patronizing.

You came to this world for various reasons. Part of those reasons is that you have a unique set of attributes that will allow you to manage your life with some success, however (Sorry, there IS always a catch) you are still in the process of learning both what those attributes are and how to make effective use of them. If you are of a lazy nature the bad news is that it will take a lot of work. I am deeply sorry, but alas, no one promised you a rose garden.

Dealing with others, by default, is a very large part of the reason for coming to this small rock. You must not avoid interacting with others. You have to understand that it is natural to fail. You will learn from failure FAR more than you will ever intuit from getting things right the first time. I won't give you any illusions. It won't be easy. The only fool is the one who refuses to admit that they are a fool. The day you worry about appearing foolish is the day you have become the fool.

The reality is that when inner reality first opens up to the individual it CAN cause a schism in the psyche of the individual. There is a tendency for individuals to go "whole hog" and attempt to submerge themselves within inner reality at the expense to external reality (and relationships). The antidote to this schism is found in balance. You need the valleys to understand when you are on the peaks otherwise you would have no reference points.

I know you are lonely. Again, it ain't easy seeing a bit more of the puzzle than those around you, but you MUST have compassion for yourself. By having compassion for yourself you will automatically begin to manifest that compassion to others. Think of it as ripple effect of a sorts.

You have stated that you don't want a balance, but I am going to give you the harsh cold facts. The reality is that if you do not seek balance, reality will force you to pay attention to the fact. In essence, if you want nothing, you will have nothing and no one. Balance is critical to the stability of the psyche and to go against this will usher in an affair with despair... and she is a jealous keeper. Once she has you, she won't let go of you without a fight. (That is meant metaphorically, of course, as there is no feminine entity known as jealousy. I simply use the literary device to make what is hopefully an indelible point.)

You see Being, life is all about experience. You will have all eternity to create your miraculous views out of nothing, but your time on this small watery rock is very limited. You owe it to yourself to take advantage of the opportunities that await you - if you but knock at the door. You have a lot to offer other human animals and they have much they will offer you. It's all good.

I'm spent... though I could conceivably go on for a few more thousand words. Tell you what, I am going to give you a gift. It's yours to use as you wish. I give you a gift of energy. Upon reading these words, know that the gift has been received. It is yours and always at your command. When you need a boost or help with a problem, that extra bit of energy will always be there. It cannot be exhausted.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

Being, I don't know that you will like my thoughts on all this, but heck, hopefully you will take what I say to heart. I will try to not be patronizing.

You came to this world for various reasons. Part of those reasons is that you have a unique set of attributes that will allow you to manage your life with some success, however (Sorry, there IS always a catch) you are still in the process of learning both what those attributes are and how to make effective use of them. If you are of a lazy nature the bad news is that it will take a lot of work. I am deeply sorry, but alas, no one promised you a rose garden.

Dealing with others, by default, is a very large part of the reason for coming to this small rock. You must not avoid interacting with others. You have to understand that it is natural to fail. You will learn from failure FAR more than you will ever intuit from getting things right the first time. I won't give you any illusions. It won't be easy. The only fool is the one who refuses to admit that they are a fool. The day you worry about appearing foolish is the day you have become the fool.

The reality is that when inner reality first opens up to the individual it CAN cause a schism in the psyche of the individual. There is a tendency for individuals to go "whole hog" and attempt to submerge themselves within inner reality at the expense to external reality (and relationships). The antidote to this schism is found in balance. You need the valleys to understand when you are on the peaks otherwise you would have no reference points.

I know you are lonely. Again, it ain't easy seeing a bit more of the puzzle than those around you, but you MUST have compassion for yourself. By having compassion for yourself you will automatically begin to manifest that compassion to others. Think of it as ripple effect of a sorts.

You have stated that you don't want a balance, but I am going to give you the harsh cold facts. The reality is that if you do not seek balance, reality will force you to pay attention to the fact. In essence, if you want nothing, you will have nothing and no one. Balance is critical to the stability of the psyche and to go against this will usher in an affair with despair... and she is a jealous keeper. Once she has you, she won't let go of you without a fight. (That is meant metaphorically, of course, as there is no feminine entity known as jealousy. I simply use the literary device to make what is hopefully an indelible point.)

You see Being, life is all about experience. You will have all eternity to create your miraculous views out of nothing, but your time on this small watery rock is very limited. You owe it to yourself to take advantage of the opportunities that await you - if you but knock at the door. You have a lot to offer other human animals and they have much they will offer you. It's all good.

I'm spent... though I could conceivably go on for a few more thousand words. Tell you what, I am going to give you a gift. It's yours to use as you wish. I give you a gift of energy. Upon reading these words, know that the gift has been received. It is yours and always at your command. When you need a boost or help with a problem, that extra bit of energy will always be there. It cannot be exhausted.

You have no Idea how much you have touched me right now. I feel as if you know more about me then I do. YmirGf, thank you so much for these words. So much has just arisen within me. I can already feel compassion for myself and I can already feel the energy. Thank you so much, this means so much to me. Know YmirGF, that you are responsible for a beautiful change in my life. I have so much to offer to you right now, Thank you so much, thank you.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

I have one more question for you right now YmirGF. May I please practice a mild form of asceticism. I really feel like it will work. I see the need for a balance, but can mild asceticism help the balance?

 

[xkatz]

May I please practice a mild form of asceticism. I really feel like it will work.

What is "mild" asceticism in your mind?

 

[Rainbow Mage]

Mild asceticism is something like I practice Being. But then again I have a deity I specifically devote myself to, and that helps one temper their asceticism in a moderate way. I meditate daily, pray, sometimes abstain from food and drink, or certain foods.

 

[Rainbow Mage]

This is why in Sanatan Dharma it's suggested you choose a deity to channel your asceticism toward, unless you can't handle Brahman, because it's not an easy thing to become as Brahman is.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

What is "mild" asceticism in your mind?

If I were to practice mild asceticism these would be my "vow" if you wish to call them:

1. Fast according to one of the three types once a week
A. No food
b. Only Liquids
c. Only one meal
2. Meditate at least these times
Monday-thursday 2 hours
Friday and Sunday 4 hours
Saturday 6 hours
3. Complete Celibacy
4. Non-Violence to all life
5. Refrain from lying
6. Refrain from Stealing

That would be basically it. Its very mild because im not really denying myself too much. I think this would work for me well too.

 

[Noaidi]

I'm not wishing to denigrate anyone's views or beliefs here, but can I ask what the point of asceticism is? I can fully go along with no stealing and non-violence, but why ration food, liquid and sex?
How do you benefit from this? How does the deprivation or curtailment of basic needs translate as an act of worship or devotion?

 

[xkatz]

If I were to practice mild asceticism these would be my "vow" if you wish to call them:

1. Fast according to one of the three types once a week
A. No food
b. Only Liquids
c. Only one meal
2. Meditate at least these times
Monday-thursday 2 hours
Friday and Sunday 4 hours
Saturday 6 hours
3. Complete Celibacy
4. Non-Violence to all life
5. Refrain from lying
6. Refrain from Stealing

That would be basically it. Its very mild because im not really denying myself too much. I think this would work for me well too.

If I may suggest, rather than having a schedule and making of list of the austerities you plan to go through, why not start with something simple and then build upon it? That way, you can go into it more gradually, which may help you. It might not be a good idea to have timing for you meditations, concentration comes and goes and if you have set times you may end up disappointing yourself, especially with the expectation of meditating 6 hours :areyoucra I would also not suggest the "no food", as it is not good for your health. Also, what would you define as " complete celibacy"?

 

[Akshara Dasa]

I'm not wishing to denigrate anyone's views or beliefs here, but can I ask what the point of asceticism is? I can fully go along with no stealing and non-violence, but why ration food, liquid and sex?
How do you benefit from this? How does the deprivation or curtailment of basic needs translate as an act of worship or devotion?

Sex, food, and liquids. The first is a biological desire deep within the human anatomy, food and liquids are needs. We are trapped in the world of Sex because we identify with the body. The body loves sex and when the deisre arises, if we identify with the body, we will indulge. But, ceilibacy is a form of self-denial. You are looking right into the eyes of bodily identification and saying, "no, im not you and your not me, therefore I dont need you". That is what real celibacy is.

Food and liquids are taken away to release yourself from their bonds. Now, yes, you will always need them, but you choose which ones you want and you like one more and the other and one tastes better. But after fasting, you see that the food or liquid types is really irrelavant. The best thing for the body is whats best, not what tastes best or anything like that. Therefore fasting helps you realize the specific needs of food and water and not to spoil yourself but to only use what is needed. One realizes this in Fasting. I hope i explained that well.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

If I may suggest, rather than having a schedule and making of list of the austerities you plan to go through, why not start with something simple and then build upon it? It might not be a good idea to have timing for you meditations, concentration comes and goes and if you have set times you may end up disappointing yourself, especially with the expectation of meditating 6 hours :areyoucra I would also not suggest the "no food", as it is not good for your health. Also, what would you define as " complete celibacy"?

Celibacy is no sexual act what so ever. No sex with another person and no masturbation to be specific. also, not indulging in the lookes of women, or thinking about sex and when a thought of sex arises, to get rid of it.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

If I may suggest, rather than having a schedule and making of list of the austerities you plan to go through, why not start with something simple and then build upon it? That way, you can go into it more gradually, which may help you. It might not be a good idea to have timing for you meditations, concentration comes and goes and if you have set times you may end up disappointing yourself, especially with the expectation of meditating 6 hours :areyoucra I would also not suggest the "no food", as it is not good for your health. Also, what would you define as " complete celibacy"?

I see what you mean, I will take your advice!

I know that meditation for six hours seems long, but if I could just absorb myself in Being, I could probably easly do it, or even go longer.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Being, real simple. I think you're a tad bit too attached to asceticism.

Renunciation isn't an austere attempt to push things away, but to simply let them go.

I wouldn't put myself through such a rigorous practice that you outlined unless I was taking my monastic vows. If you want to give up a home, and you want to beg for your food, then I can honestly understand the relevence of your practice schedule because your goals and your environment are conducive to such. But if you want to continue having any semblance of a civilian life like having a job, buying your food, coming home to your own bed....then reconsider.