Friend Being,
I see no problem with this type of "mild Ascetism" interferring even if you are married.
Regards,
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Problems with Social Life
- Thread starter Akshara Dasa
- Start date
Friend Being,
I see no problem with this type of "mild Ascetism" interferring even if you are married.
Regards,
Peacewise
Active Member
Being - thanks for sharing your journey with me.
I too believe that your described perception of mild asceticism is ok. All I would suggest is that you make sure that your total weekly calories, nutrients, minerals and vitamins are suitable for your current body weight, gender and age.
You are beyond me in asceticism for I do not choose to achieve all of your stated goals and for me I do not think it is very mild, though the relativity and subjectivity of my beliefs require me to state that if it works for you, then it's all good.
How will you know if it's working for you?
Some questions that I have applied to 'what works for me?" include, am I happy, are those around me happy, do I meet the requirements for supporting myself, do I have enough to be charitable to others, do I contribute to my community, do I fear death, do I fear life, why am I getting out of bed today.
These questions and others like them provide me with a way of looking at my chosen lifestyle and see if the lifestyle is consistent with my personal values, for my belief is that if I am consistent with my values then I shall be content, and of all the concepts I base my life on, being content is the overarching concept.
Are you content?
I too believe that your described perception of mild asceticism is ok. All I would suggest is that you make sure that your total weekly calories, nutrients, minerals and vitamins are suitable for your current body weight, gender and age.
You are beyond me in asceticism for I do not choose to achieve all of your stated goals and for me I do not think it is very mild, though the relativity and subjectivity of my beliefs require me to state that if it works for you, then it's all good.
How will you know if it's working for you?
Some questions that I have applied to 'what works for me?" include, am I happy, are those around me happy, do I meet the requirements for supporting myself, do I have enough to be charitable to others, do I contribute to my community, do I fear death, do I fear life, why am I getting out of bed today.
These questions and others like them provide me with a way of looking at my chosen lifestyle and see if the lifestyle is consistent with my personal values, for my belief is that if I am consistent with my values then I shall be content, and of all the concepts I base my life on, being content is the overarching concept.
Are you content?
17
What about Mahavira?
Ok, thank you Satsangi.
I dont look at it like that. Like if Im happy, those around me happy, or anything like that. My advancement is based on rooting myself in Being, and there is much effort needed by me. So every meditation, every form of renunciation at one point may be stressful or hard, but if I can keep threw it then I know the outcome will be good. The practice may not give me happiness for months, but I know that in the end it may help me get closer to Being.
YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
That is what I suspected, Being.
Not a Mod Post:
Advisory: People, remember, you are given advice to a minor. Use caution.
Advisory: People, remember, you are given advice to a minor. Use caution.
Peacewise
Active Member
OK I respect that you don't look at it (life) like that. So what questions, if any, do you ask yourself?
How long have you been practicing Being?
Is this a bad thing? Or does this just show inexperiance with whats going on?
Am I getting closer to the deathless, thats what im asking myself. Am I rooting myself deeper in the Bliss of Being. If I am, then everything that im doing is good and worth it.
Why do you assume that it's you who are wrong and the society is right…
Just start by looking at your real interests…
Find out what you like and what you don’t like…There must be
Of course it's essential to decide on your stance regarding the big philosophical questions…They'll affect you directly…
Someone has explain it extremely, but we can learn from it anyway … here is what he said:
"if you don't have something to die for, you don't have something to live for"…
Just because your colleagues are exclusively occupied by following their temptations..this does not mean that it's the right way to live…
Good Luck
Why do you assume that it's you who are wrong and the society is right
Just start by looking at your real interests
Find out what you like and what you dont like There must be
Of course it's essential to decide on your stance regarding the big philosophical questions They'll affect you directly
Someone has explain it extremely, but we can learn from it anyway here is what he said:
"if you don't have something to die for, you don't have something to live for"
Just because your colleagues are exclusively occupied by following their temptations..this does not mean that it's the right way to live
Good Luck
Thank you very much Shia Islam. This post is really going to help me, again thank you!
I did not know that you are a minor...
If I knew, I would not have used this quote:
"if you don't have something to die for, you don't have something to live for"…
Just be careful, that some religious extremist try to influence younger youth to follow their wrong ways..
Good Luck again.
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Dont worry, I didnt take the quote wrong, i understand what its saying. I may be a little extreme with my own practice, but I will not follow religious extremists. I actually dropped religion so that I could concentrate on this better. I know that if it really hurt me, then its not helping.
YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
To be completely frank, Being. If my GRANDson came to me and told me he wanted to do what you are saying you wanted to do - I would be VERY concerned.
Why should one be concerned with one who wants to get closer to Being, closer to existence? I feel like im in the wrong environment for growth. If i lived a thousand years ago in the east, I probably would have been liked for wanting to do such things. I feel as if the social world is to much now. So is maturity and other social things. Society says that you have to do so many things and then when someone falls out of the fold, they are told to get back in and follow the rules. Also, with maturity, Im always told im immature, but I dont care anymore! I dont care how society says how a 17, 25, 40, 60 year old should live! Im so tired of this. When I went on vacation a few weeks ago I contemplated running away so that I could go off and meditate. I didnt do this, because my parents would have so upset and scared for me. But, its things like rules and structure and society that are pushing me over the edge with my transformation. I would love to go out to a forest, or the mountains and meditate indefinatly. That would be absolutly amazing. To just get away from people, from society, and to live and just absorb into Being would be wonderful.
IMO, you are too attached. It's not the end of the world, though.
If someone came up with a list of how they must have at least "x" amount of food, shelter, sex, etc in order to find happiness, I'd think they were too attached to indulgences. So, I just think you're swinging the pendulum waaaaayyyyy to the other side. Remember, the opposite of dysfunction is dysfunction.
Middle Way, hon. Middle Way. :hug:
I know, I know. But its all so stressful now, i feel helpless and hopless. I dont know what to do anymore and, because of my inexperiance with this stuff, it has pushed me to the extreme.
It's all good, hon.
My Big Squishy Hugs are always free of charge, and I have an infinite supply.
It's all good, hon.
My Big Squishy Hugs are always free of charge, and I have an infinite supply.
I accept this hug and it has made me feel better already. Thank you for such a kind gesture.
MissAlice
Well-Known Member
Not sure if there is anything I could say that would be of help. I know that much of what we perceive is created by ourselves.
Your lack of social life may be different from mine, but I wonder if you can't find a middle ground. Maybe not worry so much on what you should do. As antisocial as I am, social isolation seems to only add more to glass that's half empty. Sometimes I find it therapeutic without exchanges of words or socializing to be around other people, whether it is at a park, a library, a mall, or a place that contains people in a stress free environment.
Other than that, I hope perhaps you find a middle ground. You seem to be a very disciplined person which is a good thing. But you might want to be careful if it gets too extreme. I think that's really how many people obtain "zen", finding a balance.
Your lack of social life may be different from mine, but I wonder if you can't find a middle ground. Maybe not worry so much on what you should do. As antisocial as I am, social isolation seems to only add more to glass that's half empty. Sometimes I find it therapeutic without exchanges of words or socializing to be around other people, whether it is at a park, a library, a mall, or a place that contains people in a stress free environment.
Other than that, I hope perhaps you find a middle ground. You seem to be a very disciplined person which is a good thing. But you might want to be careful if it gets too extreme. I think that's really how many people obtain "zen", finding a balance.
YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
The legend of Icarus comes to mind.
How so? Your current environment has allowed you to get this far... in theory it will just fine in helping you go further. What you have to understand is that it is your erroneous attitudes about your environment that are the source of your current difficulty.
Hehe. Be, HERE, NOW.
Sadly, son, as a minor, your options ARE somewhat limited until you reach the age of majority. It is futile to go against this as the game is stacked against you. When you reach 18, 19 or 21, whichever is the norm in your local, you CAN do pretty much, as you please - within social constraints.
Without being TOO patronizing, you remind me of how I was at your current age. My journey began 4 days after my 18th birthday... and it was pretty wild from then on. Prior to that I was your proverbial, Mr. Spock (a childhood hero) and to a certain extent I am still that person, but my horizons have since widened considerably. I am still, for example, highly detail oriented and a perfectionist.
To be honest, nor do I, however there are legal constraints placed on individuals who have not yet reach the age of majority. It's a crappy system, but it is what you agreed to before you got here. Again, without being too patronizing - you are ONLY 17. You have a lot of living to do and it just saddens me that you would seriously consider robbing yourself of some great opportunities that you will, in later years, profoundly regret.
That is because they love you so deeply that it hurts. When you have children of your own or when you have the wisdom of decades behind you, you will understand their concerns. It's one of those "you have to be in their shoes" sort of things. Know that they want you to succeed. They want you to be happy. They DO have your best interests at heart (in the vast majority of cases - at least). PS: I'm glad you did not run off.
You are becoming yourself. This will occur regardless to the situation you find yourself in. You are smart enough to handle it. You are resourceful enough to find a happy median. You have, within you, the where-with-all to make a meaningful contribution with your life. Never allow yourself to believe otherwise. You DO need to learn to pace yourself.
I live in the forest, surrounded by tall trees. Deer come and eat out of my hand. I live in paradise on earth. Everything is perfect and fine. Then a chain saw starts up and I realize that there are others to think about too.
Your not going to like this, Being. You CAN have all that, but you will have to work towards that goal if that is what you really want. I caution you though. If you want nothing - you will have nothing. Also listen to my dear friend, MysticSang'ha. She truly is a marvel.
In the end, I do encourage you to explore what is within you, however, I also encourage you to pace yourself and not to ignore the beauty of physical reality. People can indeed be trying and a vexation, however part of why you are here is to ease that tension - to help yourself and others cope a bit better. There truly is no higher ideal.
I understand what everyone is saying here. I also understand that many are trying to really help me, and because of that I thank you all so much. But, I have to go with what I feel deep down. If I dont I will end up regreting that. I feel that I need to do somethings that others are against, but then who do I listen to. I have no guide, no teacher, no Guru, or anything like that. I have also read that the Guru will come when the students needs him, but when will I get one, when will I be guided? Or will I not be?