Question for ex-JW's

[Shak34]

I'd like to ask ex-jw's these questions, because I know an active jw won't answer truthfully.

When you were active, and going door-to-door, doing God's will, how did you feel about who you were and where you were?

When you weren't doing field service, just out at the grocery store or somewhere public, how did you feel about who you were and where you were?

Was there a difference, did you perceive things about your surroundings different?

I had mixed feelings about going out in service. When I didn't have to speak and I could just stand there and let the sister I was with take control it was okay. I really hated talking to people I didn't know it tended to cause panic attacks. I remember being in elementary school and at that time we were basically selling the magazines. I hated that. Going out in service never made me feel good about myself or where I was in the congregation, I kind of felt bad because I hated it so much.

I did study to get baptized, but was told no by the elders. Being a jehovah witness was all I ever knew so my life was not any different outside of meetings and service then it was in it. They kind if stuck to their own kind, so other than school I was only around other witnesses. For years even after I stopped attending meetings I felt like I was a Witness and that it was the truth and blah, blah, blah. It wasn't until years later that I tried to come back and realized that it just wasn't the same religion that I grew up in, there were to many changes. That got me to start researching the history if the religion and what they have taught.