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Do you find it hard to live in this world where anyone 'outgoing, charming, extroverted' is considered normal, and anyone 'reserved, quiet' is abnormal, weird?
I often wish I were able to express myself more openly, cuz my silence is sometimes misinterpreted as a character flaw, such as grandiosity or hostility. I suppose I just don't have much to say, though I do believe that some things are transmitted without words.
Not so hard, but it can become difficult to make a large circle of friends because they don't know how to get close to you. That was my problem in high school. People liked me but I was so quiet, I never got very close to people (with some exceptions).
When I was 16-18 I was still very shy (which I believe was a direct result of being introverted). At my dance classes, I would sit with my mother before and after the class instead of mingling with everyone (who were all older than me).
When I started to become closer to and begin forming friendships with other dancers, I learned from one man that he had thought I was much older and a snob. He was truly shocked to realise I was a teenager and that lady was my mother. Apparently he thought I was very intimidating, haha.
So yes, people can very much misunderstand the shy and introverted personality.
Being intimidating can be very helpful if one is in an environment where people are targeted. I'm usually perceived as a guy who's on drugs, and who looks like trouble. Though this judgment is entirely based on appearances, and is completely off, i don't mind it and don't try to change that (which i can, because i contribute to that by the attitude i take in some circumstances) because it results in them being more careful around me than they are with other people, and i certainly appreciate that. With some people, the worst thing that could happen to you is that they get comfortable around you.
That's exactly what I am saying. Just looking intimidating could do wonders because at least people will think twice before doing anything. Being soft is never easy, as in my case, because people take you for granted. Many times I've had total strangers talk to me like I am an old friend, they even start making jokes at my expense when we've hardly been introduced.
EDIT: If I may ask, Badran, what do you look like (so that people think you're trouble)? I am asking because I am trying to understand why people perceive the way they do. Maybe, that'll help me. Maybe, I should do something about my body language and tone of my voice.
If I may ask, Badran, what do you look like (so that people think you're trouble)? I am asking because I am trying to understand why people perceive the way they do. Maybe, that'll help me. Maybe, I should do something about my body language and tone of my voice.
Reading this again, i just realized i didn't answer your question about my appearance. I don't understand why though, i got it while reading your post, but somehow while replying i was completely concentrating on your second question.
I don't really know how to describe the features, but i'll explain how it is perceived. Basically, if i was looking at you normally just without a clear attempt at being exceptionally nice, it would seem i'm staring you down. A general impression that is got is that my look also suggest that whole uncaring thing. That along side being tall and a little big, i guess does the trick.
I am definitely introverted out of shear lack of trust or respect for humanity (this is what life has taught me), but am always kind unless forced to defend myself. I consciously mentally say to myself if a person I wish not to speak to "what do you want" or "please leave me alone"; and I am quite sure that I portray some kind of "look" that may give away what I am thinking, thus usually being effective.Another question out of curiosity. Do strangers immediately assume you're introverted just by looking at you? Do you have the look, the look that totally exposes you as an introvert even to people who know nothing about you?
Do you find it hard to live in this world where anyone 'outgoing, charming, extroverted' is considered normal, and anyone 'reserved, quiet' is abnormal, weird?
I am actually quite a shy person in real life especially when around people I don't really know or in big groups. I don't see it as a problem though, also don't find it has that much of an effect on my social life.
If they know you're quiet and leave you alone, then there's no problem. My problem is, they know you're quiet and soft and take advantage of you by saying nasty stuff (knowing full well you won't react).
If they know you're quiet and leave you alone, then there's no problem. My problem is, they know you're quiet and soft and take advantage of you by saying nasty stuff (knowing full well you won't react).
It's a common definition because it is among the most elegant and concise.That's almost word for word what the psychologist told me.
Not so hard, but it can become difficult to make a large circle of friends because they don't know how to get close to you. That was my problem in high school. People liked me but I was so quiet, I never got very close to people (with some exceptions).