Reactions

[ChristineES]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

 

[Quintessence]

Generally speaking, I let it go. Coming up with snarky comebacks is usually a violation of my own Code of Honor. I'm not going to dishonor myself at someone else's provocation and besides, I have nothing to prove to them. I will either work to compromise the situation and reach an understanding or, when that isn't possible, I will flat out ignore them. If the situation warrants it, I will report them to moderators and let them handle it.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Typically I hit back. It's usually a good outlet.

 

[YmirGF]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

Sometimes it is more biting to ignore the insults and carry on as if nothing had happened. Fire needs oxygen and all that. Try to see if there is anything to what the other party is saying, even if you find their method of delivery to be a bit crude. Address that, not the crudeness. What would Jesus do? I doubt he would ignore it completely, but would utilize the experience to further understanding. In theory, you should be able to tell, fairly quickly, if the person(s) involved are actually interested in a discussion.

 

[Vinayaka]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

Tough calls usually. Several times I have responded and then within an hour or so gone back and deleted it. I think the high road is not to respond. Why stoop to the level of someone else? Now, if its really important that your message needs to be out there for the other readers to see to bring a balanced perspective , and a contradictory message to the other poster, I'd leave it. Bit just for the sake of insulting... well, no. The other point is that some people do get insulted easy, overreact to lots of things, and other people are the opposite, have such thick skins that they won't react to anything or understand tyhat they are insulting anyone.

Best wishes with your dilemma.

 

[fallingblood]

It is a hard decision. I know for me, I do get annoyed and I may end up present less than ideal arguments. Usually when someone makes such a comment to me (personally I actually hate when people use the face palm emoticon) I try to keep from making a snarky comment, just because it ends up leading to more and more and more.

However, like I said, I know I do make some such comments mainly just out of frustration. But I try to keep it mostly decent.

Basically what I'm saying is that ideally, it is probably best to refrain from saying something back, but sometimes, it happens.

 

[Songbird]

The internet can really seem hostile or cold. Comments are isolated slices of views or opinions, and they're thin, wan, anemic, and stilted versions of real conversation.

Christine, my worry for you specifically is that you're getting walked on in your effort to be Christ-like. Something I learned through watching some family members is that you help teach bullies boundaries and consequences when you stand up for yourself firmly. (Not to mention protecting your own sanity.) When you take on the enabling role because you're trying to be "nice" or "loving", you hurt yourself and the person who's hurting you.

Speaking for myself, looking back, all I was doing when I was getting walked on was being a coward. I was scared of confrontation and mistook fear for gentleness. It affected my confidence, and in turn was a cycle that was hard to get out of.

I hope for your sake you confront the person directly who's insulting you. Don't worry that you'll violate forum rules or make the person angry or be non-Christlike. Knowing you, you'll be able to confront wonderfully and gently.

 

[Alex_G]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

I think you cant go wrong with being openly honest, even though it can sometimes take a deal of courage. There are a whole host of different people in this world, different back stories, peculiarities, insecurities, chips on shoulders, confidences, sensitivities, ignorances and so on. Some are just more sensitive and in touch with feeling, which can suck for those people when they have to share space with more aggressive types. I’d say i always prefer those people who are very empathetic, sensitive to the feelings in themselves and others. Its admirable. Its a shame so many get hurt in this world.

When it comes to this forum in particular, i would advise (as best as i see it) to close your eyes and think of yourself standing atop a mountain with a view of the world infront, embracing the authentic individual, the genuine person that you are. Breathe easy in how pure an idea it is to imagine someone so free that they are themselves totally and whole-heartedly, un-coerced and unstifled, apart from so many that tragically conform to the arbitrary.

Be empowered to respond to posts that u believe in and put your thoughts on the line. No good really comes from lowering urself to petty insult tennis, rather tell some1 honestly what effect their post had on u and that u felt it was out of line. Point out their shortcomings both morally and from the point of constructive debate/discussion and free from burden let them stew over it if they chose to, its their issue, and shouldnt weigh you down.

 

[9Westy9]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

I usually let personal attacks go. But when they're persistent and interfering with the discussion it tends to send me over the edge and I post a scaving reply. Not many posters have made me do that though.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Pick up a whip.

I'm absolutely serious.

 

[Quagmire]

Pick up a whip.

I'm absolutely serious.

She is. :yes:

 

[Quintessence]

Mmmph. Reading some of the folks suggesting a more confrontational attitude, I can't help but to point out the important differences between picking battles in real life and picking battles on an internet forum. Songbird, for example, expressed concern about being "walked on." While in real life I would consider this a legitimate concern, on the internet it's almost completely irrelevant. Standing up for yourself on the internet isn't important; not doing so has almost zero relevant consequences. What's important is behaving in accord with your own codes of conduct. If that means turning the other cheek, then do that. If it means being a complete ***** to people, then do that (and watch as forum after forum bans you for trolling).

 

[idav]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

Yeah that is a tough one but I try not to get into emotional responses especially anything that would be perpetuate ill form in a debate style discussion. Sometimes it takes a little more focus and effort to respond appropriately. I think that a lot of times those type of interactions wouldn't happen if it were face to face and a lot of times that helps in how I will respond.

But then very rarely the emotion gets the better of me and I remind the **** that they can *** or expect to **** and such.

 

[Me Myself]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

I think it depends. Generaly it is best to not make much decisions when one is in too big of a mood I think, cause you might regret them when you get out of it.

When someone name calls me in RF or anyone else, I immidiately report. I think that it is a very basic principle to say what you want about other people´s posts but never insult other posters. This maintains (IMO) a good enviroment.

About making "stinging response" s, I think it depends on the objective. Do you believe this response will teach the person a lesson or just make you feel better? I generaly think that as long as no one is insulting each other (just the responses and arguments, never the people behind them) then things are acceptable. If it becomes too persistent, then comes report, and the mods can judge in between them all the appropiate measures. They are more emotionaly de-atached to the situation so they can look at it unpersonaly, while at the same time are concerned to keep an good enviroment for debates to be.

If you feel that it is "wrong" to make a "stinging response" then what makes you think this "wrong" thing will make you feel "right?

Just pray for them, and if you will (and for the best of us all ) report them. Then the offense is somebody else´s problem

 

[Me Myself]

Christine, my worry for you specifically is that you're getting walked on in your effort to be Christ-like. Something I learned through watching some family members is that you help teach bullies boundaries and consequences when you stand up for yourself firmly. (Not to mention protecting your own sanity.) When you take on the enabling role because you're trying to be "nice" or "loving", you hurt yourself and the person who's hurting you.

There are some good responses in here, but I felt like putting my support in this one specially (look at the sanity clause. Serious business )

 

[ChristineES]

I think it depends. Generaly it is best to not make much decisions when one is in too big of a mood I think, cause you might regret them when you get out of it.

When someone name calls me in RF or anyone else, I immidiately report. I think that it is a very basic principle to say what you want about other people´s posts but never insult other posters. This maintains (IMO) a good enviroment.

About making "stinging response" s, I think it depends on the objective. Do you believe this response will teach the person a lesson or just make you feel better? I generaly think that as long as no one is insulting each other (just the responses and arguments, never the people behind them) then things are acceptable. If it becomes too persistent, then comes report, and the mods can judge in between them all the appropiate measures. They are more emotionaly de-atached to the situation so they can look at it unpersonaly, while at the same time are concerned to keep an good enviroment for debates to be.

If you feel that it is "wrong" to make a "stinging response" then what makes you think this "wrong" thing will make you feel "right?

Just pray for them, and if you will (and for the best of us all ) report them. Then the offense is somebody else´s problem

That is why I ignored it. Even if I had said something, he wouldn't have learned anything. He has insulted others as well, so I am not taking it personally. I don't feel as though I am being walked on.

Thank you for all the responses.

 

[Me Myself]

That is why I ignored it. Even if I had said something, he wouldn't have learned anything. He has insulted others as well, so I am not taking it personally. I don't feel as though I am being walked on.

Thank you for all the responses.

If he has insulted others, reporting might be the best road for all of us.

Getting a notification to relax from the mods could indeed teach him to actually relax, and everyone would benefit from it

 

[gnomon]

I am in a dilemma right now. Someone just insulted me in a debate in Religious Debates. I ignored it but part of me wanted to make a stinging response to the person. I had to stop myself from doing this, because of what Jesus said about turning the other cheek and all that. Being a human, I still get a bit irritated by such things. I get a little hurt when someone just makes fun of my posts and I get upset when I see it happen to others as well. The responses being made fun of by me and others were not stupid or anything, but it sure made me feel stupid and I am sure that it makes others feel stupid, too, when it happens to them and embarrassed.

I am sure that others have had the same experiences a lot of times. Do you just let it go, or do you make a comeback? Does making a comeback make you feel better or does just letting it go make you feel better.

I always take the high road.

Because it's that much easier to crap on someone from above.

Actually, I would often let loose with the vitriol. Someone wants to antagonize me than I'll give it right back. And it would make me feel good. But then after maybe fifteen minutes I would feel bad. So I rush back to delete or edit and it's too late. At that point you are stuck continuing with the back and forth or apologizing even though you may still feel some justification for the initial biting back.

Though I must admit my feelings of remorse for slamming someone usually depend on the level of respect I have for the person I slam. Do it to those I respect and I just feel like ****. It will follow me throughout the day. A simple internet post. If I don't respect the person I feel like I'm obligated to slam them. But lately it just seems pointless.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

I hope it wasn't me, I know I can be annoying sometimes.

 

[ChristineES]

I hope it wasn't me, I know I can be annoying sometimes.

Nope, it wasn't you. It wasn't anyone who responded in this thread.