Respect

[SalixIncendium]

I had a discussion with one of my employees, who is in her 40s, last week about a disagreement she had with one of my managers. In that conversation, she mentioned that the manager, who is in her 20s, should treat her with respect because she is her elder.

I'm sure we've have all heard the saying, "Respect your elders." But in this scenario, who should be afforded respect in the disagreement (given both should respect each other, but I'm speaking in the case of conflict)? Should it be the manager because she is a supervisory role and is responsible for the behaviors and actions of the employee? Or should it the employee because she is 20 years older than the manager?

When should respect be afforded? Is respect something that should be given solely because of a person's age? Or does respect have to be earned? What are your thoughts?


Edited to clarify: It is already assumed that each person should afford whatever respect deserved as a human being. That is not what is being asked here.

 

[Koldo]

What does it mean to be 'afforded respect' on this context ?

 

[SalixIncendium]

What does it mean to be 'afforded respect' on this context ?

Dictionary definition is applicable in this context, or you are welcome to use your own interpretation. It is of no consequence to me.

 

[YmirGF]

Having been in this position of disciplining an older employee many years older than myself, I did treat them with dignity and respect. I was treated in kind. My crafty solution was to appeal to their years of experience and asked, "Is this good enough or should something be done?" They agreed that something had to be done. I fired him, we shook hands, and he walked out with some dignity. I did say I would give him a relatively good reference if he needed it. (He was in a rut, had grown ineffectual and knew it.)

Bottom line: In the workplace respect is a must and it is a two way street.

 

[Sunstone]

The older employee has a duty to respect the position of the younger employee in terms of authority. But both should respect each other as humans. At least, that's how I see it.

 

[Jesster]

I respect people based on their merits. Elderly people usually deserve this, but I don't think even that should be automatically afforded. I've met several older people I couldn't respect even if you paid me. I don't know your coworker of course, so I can't judge her.

 

[Koldo]

Dictionary definition is applicable in this context, or you are welcome to use your own interpretation. It is of no consequence to me.

Do you mean which person should be regarded more favorably, as a superior in some sense ?
I would say: None. As I see it, everyone should be afforded the same degree of respect by default.
People can earn or lose my respect based on what they have done.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Having been in this position of disciplining an older employee many years older than myself, I did treat them with dignity and respect. I was treated in kind. My crafty solution was to appeal to their years of experience and asked, "Is this good enough or should something be done?" They agreed that something had to be done. I fired him, we shook hands, and he walked out with some dignity. I did say I would give him a relatively good reference if he needed it. (He was in a rut, had grown ineffectual and knew it.)

Bottom line: In the workplace respect is a must and it is a two way street.

The issue arose due to the employee thinking that she should be afforded a greater amount of respect because of her age to the extent that she didn't feel the need to follow directives passed down by the manager simply because she was 20 years her junior.

 

[Nakosis]

I had a discussion with one of my employees, who is in her 40s, last week about a disagreement she had with one of my managers. In that conversation, she mentioned that the manager, who is in her 20s, should treat her with respect because she is her elder.

I'm sure we've have all heard the saying, "Respect your elders." But in this scenario, who should be afforded respect in the disagreement (given both should respect each other, but I'm speaking in the case of conflict)? Should it be the manager because she is a supervisory role and is responsible for the behaviors and actions of the employee? Or should it the employee because she is 20 years older than the manager?

When should respect be afforded? Is respect something that should be given solely because of a person's age? Or does respect have to be earned? What are your thoughts?

I give everyone equal respect from the POV of just being human. Just that we are both human and we are both trying to get through life/do our jobs the best way we each know how. A basic level of respect afforded to everyone I suppose.

Anything additional respect beyond that has to be earned.

I don't know that age earns any additional respect other than, "Hey, you managed to survive on this messy planet longer than I have.

Experience deserves some respect. If someone has shown themselves capable in their current position for a number of years.

The younger person really needs to work on earning deserved respect. That's something they have to do, make work in their situation. It's not something to can require other employees to automatically give.

The older employee if they are capable in their job, they deserve to be respected for that. Not their age so much.

Socially we respect elders, in a cultural way. I don't feel this necessarily applies to being on the job however.

 

[Father Heathen]

I think respect should be afforded and reciprocated both ways, especially in a professional environment.

 

[YmirGF]

Do you mean which person should be regarded more favorably, as a superior in some sense ?
I would say: None. As I see it, everyone should be afforded the same degree of respect by default.
People can earn or lose my respect based on what they have done.

While the last bit is true, if you make the mistake of showing your lack of respect to a superior, you will be on very thin ice because they will sense it.

 

[Jainarayan]

she didn't feel the need to follow directives passed down by the manager simply because she was 20 years her junior.

Oh heck no! Age is no license to disregard a supervisor's or manager's direction. Been there, done that, did not end well for my employee.

 

[DavidFirth]

I had a discussion with one of my employees, who is in her 40s, last week about a disagreement she had with one of my managers. In that conversation, she mentioned that the manager, who is in her 20s, should treat her with respect because she is her elder.

I'm sure we've have all heard the saying, "Respect your elders." But in this scenario, who should be afforded respect in the disagreement (given both should respect each other, but I'm speaking in the case of conflict)? Should it be the manager because she is a supervisory role and is responsible for the behaviors and actions of the employee? Or should it the employee because she is 20 years older than the manager?

When should respect be afforded? Is respect something that should be given solely because of a person's age? Or does respect have to be earned? What are your thoughts?

In the employee-boss scenario the boss can demand respect as part of the employee-employer verbal contract. If the employee doesn't like that, time to find another job.

Yes, respect, real respect, must be earned. Respect can be feigned but real respect must be earned.

It is up to the employer as to whether or not a person be required to respect an employee who is much older than another employee.

I once had fellow employees who were much older than me but I had very little respect for them because they were dishonest. They never complained to the boss because they knew that if they did I would rat them out and tell the boss why I didn't respect them.

 

[YmirGF]

The issue arose due to the employee thinking that she should be afforded a greater amount of respect because of her age to the extent that she didn't feel the need to follow directives passed down by the manager simply because she was 20 years her junior.

It's a good thing the lady didn't have me as her boss then. I would, with the greatest respect, show her to her car.

 

[Koldo]

While the last bit is true, if you make the mistake of showing your lack of respect to a superior, you will be on very thin ice because they will sense it.

What do you mean by 'lack of respect' ?
Can you exemplify ?

 

[Nakosis]

The issue arose due to the employee thinking that she should be afforded a greater amount of respect because of her age to the extent that she didn't feel the need to follow directives passed down by the manager simply because she was 20 years her junior.

You can't do that. Unless there was something demonstrable wrong with the directive, in which case the manager may not be the right person for the position. The manager is in the position to manage. If the employee won't allow themselves to be managed then the manager can't do their job. Otherwise you are going to continue to have problems.

 

[Father Heathen]

The issue arose due to the employee thinking that she should be afforded a greater amount of respect because of her age to the extent that she didn't feel the need to follow directives passed down by the manager simply because she was 20 years her junior.

Respect is one thing, insubordination is another. Age doesn't make defiance excusable.

 

[YmirGF]

What do you mean by 'lack of respect' ?
Can you exemplify ?

Boss comes up, "Hiya, Koldo, will you help me out in the front office for a few minutes?"
Koldo: "Um, yeah, why not?"
Boss: "Excuse me?"
Koldo: "Whatever!" As you get up with a sigh.

Prolly wouldn't go too well from there.

 

[sun rise]

The issue arose due to the employee thinking that she should be afforded a greater amount of respect because of her age to the extent that she didn't feel the need to follow directives passed down by the manager simply because she was 20 years her junior.

That to me is misusing the word 'respect'. If a boss tells me that I need to do something and I refuse because I'm older, that shows that the person thinks of herself as more important than others and that is an ego-driven demand.

 

[Koldo]

Boss comes up, "Hiya, Koldo, will you help me out in the front office for a few minutes?"
Koldo: "Um, yeah, why not?"
Boss: "Excuse me?"
Koldo: "Whatever!" As you get up with a sigh.

Prolly wouldn't go too well from there.

I am not sure I understood the issue. Do you mean I shouldn't speak to my boss in a casual manner ?