Respect

[The Kilted Heathen]

Working in customer service, food industry, and retail, old people do not deserve respect based on their age alone. The whole notion of "respect your elders" comes from a time when it was difficult to grow old. When people actually did something with their lives, and the village elders were the keepers of a tribe or people's lore and history.

Today it's easy to grow old. The Internet keeps our history and lore. And most people do nothing with their lives but make others miserable. I respect people who deserve respect, not someone who is nothing more than chronologically my senior.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I respect people who deserve respect, not someone who is nothing more than chronologically my senior.

Who, in your opinion, deserves respect? What to they have to do to earn this respect?

 

[The Kilted Heathen]

Who, in your opinion, deserves respect? What to they have to do to earn this respect?

It's not so much a matter of who as a matter of what. To me, respect is something that is very much earned. So for instance the authority of law; I might not respect a particular cop, but I do respect what his badge represents. I may respect a supervisor for their experience at the job, even if I don't respect them as a person (though both of those are really hard to do.)

Likewise I respect people who don't treat me like garbage, or like a slave. I've had too many old people behave like absolute goblins, expecting me to bend over backwards and blow sunshine out my rear just because I'm a sales rep. I'm not going to respect those people just because they're older than me.

 

[DavidFirth]

Older people who act like a-holes don't deserve any respect.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

@YmirGF answered for me. Thank you.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

How is respect earned?

Respect is earned. You don't give it because you are told to or because its the done thing. You give respect where respect is due.

Funny thing, respect. I think part of the problem is that we're defining the term just a little too loosely.

In the first place, I believe that it is my obligation -- as a human -- to treat everyone else respectfully, to the best of my ability. I many not like someone when I first meet them, but that's really my problem, and not theirs, and so I ought to suppress that and be both civil and courteous.

On the other hand, there are people whom I deeply respect (another meaning of the word) for what they have accomplished, or for any number of other reasons, some of which may even only be important to me.

And there are those who have earned me disrespect, through their own actions. And once again, some of those actions may be important to me, and not to others.

And then, more germane to this thread, there are those who by reason of our relationship with one another, are entitled to command my respect in some situations. For example, my employer, who pays me to accomplish something that he is willing to pay me to accomplish, may command my "respect" which in this case is more related to compliance. I may, in fact disagree with what he commands, and if our working relationship is strong enough, I may even be able to voice my disagreement -- but having done so, when he ultimately decides, I am obliged to comply, or, as has happened to many people, seek employment elsewhere.

 

[Willamena]

I had a discussion with one of my employees, who is in her 40s, last week about a disagreement she had with one of my managers. In that conversation, she mentioned that the manager, who is in her 20s, should treat her with respect because she is her elder.

I'm sure we've have all heard the saying, "Respect your elders." But in this scenario, who should be afforded respect in the disagreement (given both should respect each other, but I'm speaking in the case of conflict)? Should it be the manager because she is a supervisory role and is responsible for the behaviors and actions of the employee? Or should it the employee because she is 20 years older than the manager?

When should respect be afforded? Is respect something that should be given solely because of a person's age? Or does respect have to be earned? What are your thoughts?


Edited to clarify: It is already assumed that each person should afford whatever respect deserved as a human being. That is not what is being asked here.

Obviously both should always be afforded respect always, on the work site, regardless of their age.

That's how "Respect Works."

 

[ChristineM]

Funny thing, respect. I think part of the problem is that we're defining the term just a little too loosely.

In the first place, I believe that it is my obligation -- as a human -- to treat everyone else respectfully, to the best of my ability. I many not like someone when I first meet them, but that's really my problem, and not theirs, and so I ought to suppress that and be both civil and courteous.

On the other hand, there are people whom I deeply respect (another meaning of the word) for what they have accomplished, or for any number of other reasons, some of which may even only be important to me.

And there are those who have earned me disrespect, through their own actions. And once again, some of those actions may be important to me, and not to others.

And then, more germane to this thread, there are those who by reason of our relationship with one another, are entitled to command my respect in some situations. For example, my employer, who pays me to accomplish something that he is willing to pay me to accomplish, may command my "respect" which in this case is more related to compliance. I may, in fact disagree with what he commands, and if our working relationship is strong enough, I may even be able to voice my disagreement -- but having done so, when he ultimately decides, I am obliged to comply, or, as has happened to many people, seek employment elsewhere.

We have slightly different ideas of respect mainly on your first point which i see as civility, not respect.

Your second point i agree with and it ties in with my post regarding earning respect.

Third point also, its a point of earning disrespect.

Your fourth causes me some concern, are you saying your employer buys your respect?

 

[atanu]

I had a discussion with one of my employees, who is in her 40s, last week about a disagreement she had with one of my managers. In that conversation, she mentioned that the manager, who is in her 20s, should treat her with respect because she is her elder.

I'm sure we've have all heard the saying, "Respect your elders." But in this scenario, who should be afforded respect in the disagreement (given both should respect each other, but I'm speaking in the case of conflict)? Should it be the manager because she is a supervisory role and is responsible for the behaviors and actions of the employee? Or should it the employee because she is 20 years older than the manager?

When should respect be afforded? Is respect something that should be given solely because of a person's age? Or does respect have to be earned? What are your thoughts?


Edited to clarify: It is already assumed that each person should afford whatever respect deserved as a human being. That is not what is being asked here.

I think that chronologically senior person has the responsibility of earning the respect that is due to her due to chronological seniority. OTHT, the managerially senior person has the responsibility to earn respect that is due to her due to managerial seniority. As leader of them both, you have the responsibility towards both of them.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

We have slightly different ideas of respect mainly on your first point which i see as civility, not respect.

Your second point i agree with and it ties in with my post regarding earning respect.

Third point also, its a point of earning disrespect.

Your fourth causes me some concern, are you saying your employer buys your respect?

Yes, but that's precisely what I was responding to -- the various ways in which responders in this thread are defining "respect." I'm trying to say:

• I try to treat others respectfully, unless they give me reason not to -- and even then, I try to make my criticisms respectful. That means to decry their actions or words, not themselves as people.
• I "respect" accomplishment, or beauty (which often doesn't deserve it) or many other positives.
• I'm not so fond of the things we humans do to one another far too often, and yes, that can earn my "disrespect."
• My boss doesn't "buy my respect," but when he pays the salary and says -- whatever my advice has been -- "this is how we're going to do it," then that is how I will do it. He pays, I comply.

 

[ChristineM]

Yes, but that's precisely what I was responding to -- the various ways in which responders in this thread are defining "respect." I'm trying to say:

• I try to treat others respectfully, unless they give me reason not to -- and even then, I try to make my criticisms respectful. That means to decry their actions or words, not themselves as people.
• I "respect" accomplishment, or beauty (which often doesn't deserve it) or many other positives.
• I'm not so fond of the things we humans do to one another far too often, and yes, that can earn my "disrespect."
• My boss doesn't "buy my respect," but when he pays the salary and says -- whatever my advice has been -- "this is how we're going to do it," then that is how I will do it. He pays, I comply.

How you give respect is entirely up to you.

I treat people with civility until/if they earn my respect

I like and enjoy beauty, i respect good (to me) art, the artist has worked on the peace and that work earned my respect.

Agreed

Then that is not respect for your boss but simply doing what you are paid to do.