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Rival Annoyed
- Thread starter Rival
- Start date
Rival, if your thinking about suicide- its not just over a bottle of wine. At a wild guess its about being made to feel small and insiginficant or a "child" in derogatory sense.
Take a deep breath and step back. Your parents visiting probably brought back some bad memories and your angry at them imposing that on you. You want attention and you want to feel loved so you made the threat to get us to take notice.
The moment you think about what suicide means it passes. Its a desire for escape, but its an illusion. Take a walk, go treat yourself to something nice for lunch and you'll feel better in an hour or two.
FearGod
Freedom Of Mind
You have to be patient, one day you'll have your own family and your own life.
Laika, bro, I love you but you have not grasped the nettle at all lol. My grandparents don't visit, they live here and my dad also lives here. They are his parents. He won't work, won't stop drinking, won't look after himself. They buy all his food, clothes et al. He is a disgrace. I love my grandparents to bits.
I want to kill myself for myraid reasons. This is just the straw, in a sense. I want a moral, upstanding father. Instead, he is a drunk and no good to me. My mom is a NPD-HPD with no conscience and so on and so on.
I've been considering suicide for a while now and it's becoming more and more doable.
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Do you want me to ring you so we can talk it over? I have a pay as you go contract and I have £11 on it so it may hold out for a bit. Alternatively your welcome to ring me if you need to.
Not right now, but thanks for the offer.Do you want me to ring you so we can talk it over? I have a pay as you go contract and I have £11 on it so it may hold out for a bit. Alternatively your welcome to ring me if you need to.
So you do have family, i.e. your grandparents. Who'd be pretty devastated.
My father was a good guy, to be honest, but he has struggled right through his life because his dad wasn't, really. He had a lot of problems and they were taken out on my dad. To be fair to him, that's because his dad was an ******* who wasn't there for him due to alcoholism and his mother was a control freak. They may well have gotten that from their own parents, this stuff goes back. It takes time to clear this stuff out, but people do rise through it. Years ago, I was pretty suicidal for a while myself tbh. But y'know, you move on.
My father was a good guy, to be honest, but he has struggled right through his life because his dad wasn't, really. He had a lot of problems and they were taken out on my dad. To be fair to him, that's because his dad was an ******* who wasn't there for him due to alcoholism and his mother was a control freak. They may well have gotten that from their own parents, this stuff goes back. It takes time to clear this stuff out, but people do rise through it. Years ago, I was pretty suicidal for a while myself tbh. But y'know, you move on.
I get confused when I'm on a computer without AdBlock - Waltons took me to something about sheds before I realised it wasn't you who'd linked it.
What is it you want about a nuclear family? They're not so hot, not every culture does them, we're just conditioned into them in much of the West nowadays. But if you can get that love, and support, and companionship, from your grandparents and your friends and so on?
What is it you want about a nuclear family? They're not so hot, not every culture does them, we're just conditioned into them in much of the West nowadays. But if you can get that love, and support, and companionship, from your grandparents and your friends and so on?
The Emperor of Mankind
Currently the galaxy's spookiest paraplegic
The alcohol isn't the issue here. The issue is someone who is an adult acts like a child towards Rival who has been forced to compensate by giving up her childhood to act like an adult.
The Emperor of Mankind
Currently the galaxy's spookiest paraplegic
Sounds like you've got some form of adware.
Only seems to happen on RF when I use uni computers.
I have all of one real life friend who I actually see.
Nuclear families produce a kind of comfort unique to them. Plus I've had one before, it was destroyed, and I want it back. I had two step-sisters and a pretty okay life. I felt like I was part of something, not just drifting in this anomie.
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
Can you ask your nana again to buy wine and have her put it where your father wouldnt know?
I had a nana when we were young. I think it meant, rough translation, babysitter or second ma. If your nana isnt your biological ma, could she be a shoulder to cry on? I dont know if you have a faith. IF you do, that would be next place Id go.
As for the wine, other than having your nana hide it or when you do get wine stash it for a couple weeks or months for "backup."
The Bridge is an unfortunate way to go. I suffered from clinical depression and any place seemed like the best. Im trying not to fall there even though Im way behind on bills, wont catch up cause of rent. Thinking of rent before food. Having vision issues that may make me blind in the future because of "stress" nothing organic.
Everyone to one degree or another has a mess* load of problems. Journals help as well as venting. What helps me is a walk outside and roller skatting.
What makes you happy?
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
In our county/town we have non profit organizations that can help people strugglging find safe housing (tempnl or perm), move in extreme casses, and/or just be a lending ear by a visit or a phone call. Other times theyd help me, for example, with food and a ear.
Do you have places like that?
I have a friend that lives in the same apt complex I do. She used to go there a lot to soclialize as many are like you with history of a use, unhealthy parents, and a need "for a drink." Reaching out can help.
On the first thing - dude, you're 21! You'll meet people.
There's no way you can keep your relationships with your step-sisters up? Nuclear families do tend to become less relevant when you move into adulthood anyway. You're kind of in that transition zone right now where adulthood's still new, but having them or not does become less important to you when you get older. Not like it doesn't effect you. But it loses its power to define you and hold you back one way or the other.
They are quite a way from me and very busy at university & work, unfortunately.
Also, I don't want to transition to adulthood. I feel like I've always been an adult, I want someone to take care of me and mollycoddle little Rival. She never had that!
Um, about the defining thing. I want something to define me. I don't exist in a vacuum. I need something to be attached to. We all do, IMO, whether it's faith, family, work, whatever. We do not define ourselves. I need to be part of something bigger.
Ah, that's a shame. But they'd still be there for you if you needed them, I guess.
I can only really offer you a virtual hug in response to that - but you have had nurturing from your grandparents.
Personally I kinda think it's often good to define yourself as little as you can. Obviously for social purposes, yeah we've gotta hold these identities but do it lightly. I reckon you should take the plunge and move out into the world ASAP. You're not exactly in the big city.