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Romance is a childish invention of poets and writers

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
I mean...that's what I was told, yesterday by a group of intellectuals I frequent.
They pointed out that it was in its primitive form during the Hellenistic Novel (like the one by Longus), then it was resurrected by the Medieval Poetry (Occitan literature particularly), then with the Shakespearean tragedies, It blossomed with the German Sturm und Drang and Romantik (hence the name, romance).

They say love is pure reproductive instinct...and people seek a mate because it's their sex drives and biology that pushes them to do that.. There is nothing spiritual or romantic about that.


And I replied to them: I beg to differ. It is quite the opposite. It is the the romantic side present in our brain which pushes us to seek love, and to sto being single.
It has nothing to do with sex drives. Since people won't die by just being single and with a sexless life.

Romance is more powerful than sex (sex is just an unncecessary part). It is the search for beauty in the relationship between two people.


Thought?
Be as honest aspossible.
 

JustGeorge

Imperfect
Staff member
Premium Member
I don't understand this expression. Care to explain? :)
I found the thought you expressed here to be beautiful.
Define platonic romance. I guess I have kinda understood what you mean, but I need to be sure.
Yeah... clumsy wording.

Must all 'romance' happen between people who are linked, or desire to be linked, in a couple's relationship?

Are there romantic friendships? Could a dog's devotion to its person be seen as romantic? Or what of siblings with a strong bond?

Could romance simply indicate beautiful expressions of love? All kinds of love?
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
I found the thought you expressed here to be beautiful.
Oh, thank you. :)
Must all 'romance' happen between people who are linked, or desire to be linked, in a couple's relationship?

Are there romantic friendships? Could a dog's devotion to its person be seen as romantic? Or what of siblings with a strong bond?
Well...I guess romance, by definition needs to be defined through the instruments of literature, and literature has always depicted romance as something struggling. I don't know...Romeo and Juliet, or The Sorrows of Young Werther.
Friends and siblings have a bond, I guess it's different.
Could romance simply indicate beautiful expressions of love? All kinds of love?
The Greeks would indicate three types of love.
Agapi, which is the altruistic love. Towards those in need.
Philia, which is the mutual alliance. Friendship, in other words. I guess it is not romantic, because you expect care from your friend and you are expected to give it.
Eros, which is sex. Sex drives.

I guess romance is a fourth, and in my opinion it's the fusion between Eros and Psyche. Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss - Wikipedia
That is, the fact that the Psyche dominates Eros which falls in love with her (the mind, the soul withing the human beings).
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
They say love is pure reproductive instinct...and people seek a mate because it's their sex drives and biology
They reduce humans to the level of animals with brains where the intellect is the only thing of value.
And I replied to them: I beg to differ. It is quite the opposite. It is the the romantic side present in our brain which pushes us to seek love, and to sto being single.
The search for love to me is the best whether it be romantic love, parental love, love of nature and love for God if a believer. In mineral form, it's magnetism and gravity. In animal form, it's not only sex but care for offspring, in some cases one's mates - love in an instinctual level. In humans, it takes another step forward.
 

osgart

Nothing my eye, Something for sure
They say love is pure reproductive instinct...and people seek a mate because it's their sex drives and biology that pushes them to do that.. There is nothing spiritual or romantic about that.
Sounds like they live in a cold, mechanical world. Maybe I should pity them for not knowing love of any kind. I suppose I could be angry that they think its all animal instinct. Maybe they bring it upon themselves. Maybe they are a product of the times. Maybe they are full of it.

Some people are awake, others in a prison of thought. Makes me wonder if there's hope for the relationships of the future. I can imagine a world where superficiality is king, and the substance of love is placed in a fantasy, fiction world, never to be known of or heard of again. I've seen things out there to that effect.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
FYI the Greeks have 8 kinds
  1. Eros (sexual passion)
  2. Philia (deep friendship)
  3. Ludus (playful love)
  4. Agape (love for everyone)
  5. Pragma (longstanding love)
  6. Philautia (love of the self)
  7. Storge (family love)
  8. Mania (obsessive love)
 

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
FYI the Greeks have 8 kinds
  1. Eros (sexual passion)
  2. Philia (deep friendship)
  3. Ludus (playful love)
  4. Agape (love for everyone)
  5. Pragma (longstanding love)
  6. Philautia (love of the self)
  7. Storge (family love)
  8. Mania (obsessive love)
Interesting. But romance is none of them.

What do you think of John Keats "Ode on a Graecian Urn"?
When he says: Truth is Beauty and Beauty is Truth?
 

JustGeorge

Imperfect
Staff member
Premium Member
The most romantic thing I can think of was my grandparent's marriage.

I was young yet when he died, but they really loved each other. Best friends. They did everything together. They shared some hobbies, and the hobbies they didn't share, they still did together; her sewing station was right next to his workshop. They served each other with love.
 

PureX

Veteran Member
I mean...that's what I was told, yesterday by a group of intellectuals I frequent.
They pointed out that it was in its primitive form during the Hellenistic Novel (like the one by Longus), then it was resurrected by the Medieval Poetry (Occitan literature particularly), then with the Shakespearean tragedies, It blossomed with the German Sturm und Drang and Romantik (hence the name, romance).

They say love is pure reproductive instinct...and people seek a mate because it's their sex drives and biology that pushes them to do that.. There is nothing spiritual or romantic about that.

And I replied to them: I beg to differ. It is quite the opposite. It is the the romantic side present in our brain which pushes us to seek love, and to stop being single.
It has nothing to do with sex drives. Since people won't die by just being single and with a sexless life.

Romance is more powerful than sex (sex is just an unncecessary part). It is the search for beauty in the relationship between two people.

Thought?
Be as honest aspossible.
Your friends sound like neo-fascists.
 

TagliatelliMonster

Veteran Member
I mean...that's what I was told, yesterday by a group of intellectuals I frequent.
They pointed out that it was in its primitive form during the Hellenistic Novel (like the one by Longus), then it was resurrected by the Medieval Poetry (Occitan literature particularly), then with the Shakespearean tragedies, It blossomed with the German Sturm und Drang and Romantik (hence the name, romance).

They say love is pure reproductive instinct...and people seek a mate because it's their sex drives and biology that pushes them to do that.. There is nothing spiritual or romantic about that.


And I replied to them: I beg to differ. It is quite the opposite. It is the the romantic side present in our brain which pushes us to seek love, and to sto being single.
It has nothing to do with sex drives. Since people won't die by just being single and with a sexless life.

Romance is more powerful than sex (sex is just an unncecessary part). It is the search for beauty in the relationship between two people.


Thought?
Be as honest aspossible.
Sex drive / the innate urge to spread our genes, is actually a driving factor in loads of human behavior.

In general, the vast majority of "typical" female behavior can be reduced to trying to attract men and the vast majority of "typical" male behavior can be reduced to trying to woo / impress women.

It's pretty psychological.
Off course this has loads of different aspects.

The seeking of romance and partners can be reduced to that also. Even in people who don't want children and go out of their way to not have children (vasectomies or birth control or whatever). They can't escape their biology.

If a man doesn't want kids, he still generally has the biological instinct to do what is needed to spread his genes. This is why sex sells well.
 

TagliatelliMonster

Veteran Member
Sounds like they live in a cold, mechanical world.

I disagree. I agree with the basic premise that basic human behavior / urges in terms of seeking relationships, sex etc ultimately boils down to the instinctive urge to spread ones genes. Nevertheless, I don't feel at all that that underlying explanation makes any relationship I have any less meaningful on a spiritual and / or romantic level.

Reality is still the same. My bond with my wife is still the same. Our attachment is still the same. The fuzzy feelings we get when we share a candle light dinner remains the same. Regardless if, at bottom, we can explain our "need" for such relationships with instinctive biological urges or not.

Maybe I should pity them for not knowing love of any kind.

This is an assumption.
I assure you they would still experience love like any other human.
Emotions are very real, regardless of the "mechanistic" biological explanation.

I suppose I could be angry that they think its all animal instinct.

But it is............
Why would you be angry about that?
We are social creatures. We thrive in groups, we seek out companionship, we have psychological urge for "belonging" etc.
I don't see how this makes any of those things less meaningful.
 

Terrywoodenpic

Oldest Heretic
Romantic love is where someone else's life and wellbeing is held more important than your own.
It can be directed at a person, a people a place or thing, even a concept or ideal.
It is totally unselfish in its nature. Like the victoria cross, it is beyond the call of duty.
 

bobhikes

Nondetermined
Premium Member
I mean...that's what I was told, yesterday by a group of intellectuals I frequent.
They pointed out that it was in its primitive form during the Hellenistic Novel (like the one by Longus), then it was resurrected by the Medieval Poetry (Occitan literature particularly), then with the Shakespearean tragedies, It blossomed with the German Sturm und Drang and Romantik (hence the name, romance).

They say love is pure reproductive instinct...and people seek a mate because it's their sex drives and biology that pushes them to do that.. There is nothing spiritual or romantic about that.


And I replied to them: I beg to differ. It is quite the opposite. It is the the romantic side present in our brain which pushes us to seek love, and to sto being single.
It has nothing to do with sex drives. Since people won't die by just being single and with a sexless life.

Romance is more powerful than sex (sex is just an unncecessary part). It is the search for beauty in the relationship between two people.


Thought?
Be as honest aspossible.
Romance is a mental application. It requires, knowledge, planning and action if this was necessary for relationships we would not grow as a species. It's our sex drive and need for companionship that spurs the human race.

Being able to get both sexual satisfaction and companionship thru the Internet is what is going to decrease our population. Yet the Internet is not a big factor in romance
 
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