I don't see what's funny about being friends with many rape victims. That's not normal so I'm naturally curious.
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Seeing That Women Can Go Topless Now Do You Suppose A Lot More Rapes Will Happen?
- Thread starter Titanic
- Start date
It's normal to know the victims.
But not everyone is aware of their unfortunate history.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I was molested when I was 4 years old by a 14 yo guy.(my grandmothers neighbors son)And when I was 14 I was date raped. My sister (youngest) was drugged (given ectasy) when she was 13 and gang raped by 2 19 yo guys that lived on our street she was a virgin.(they got 10 years probation for that by the way).My cousin was routinely molested by her dad.He would get drunk and feel her up right in front of me.My best friend in 8th grade was date raped.Later when she was older she was raped again by a guy in a hot tub.That's just right off the top of my head.And I'm not even going to get into other stuff that happened to me I'm actually shaking too much already.Or the other women I have MET or known that I did NOT meet in a rape victims center.
So what do you mean "what do I mean"?
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I meant "funny" in an absurd kind of way that you would accuse her of being a liar .That's what the accused say.
Criminy!
I'm glad I encourage my daughter to take self defense measures.
That might be true, but you have to understand that your experiences of society don't necessarily reflect other people's experiences.
Well it doesn't sound realistic to me.
I agree, dayum! That's one tough life to go through. I don't see how self defence works in any of those cases, we have date rapes using drugs, gang rapes, assault of a child by much older people. Those are some serious issues.
"Self defense" is a state of mind which is broadly applied to avoiding & preparing for risks, & not merely martial arts training. Could each of the assaults above be prevented or mitigated? It doesn't hurt to try.
"Dayum"....had to google that one. (Never saw it spelled before.)
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Why is it "not normal"? When again ONE in THREE women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime?
Also if you count "internet" friends and the subject comes up?One of my first friends I made (we ended up talking on the phone a lot) she talked openly about being raped from about 7 years old until she was a teenager by her step dad.Another friend of mine was raped after I met her by her husband.Mystic was raped.She talks about it .Again that's just right off the top of my head.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I know I was a sitting duck.Including blaming myself and or minimizing/not realizing even how wrong it was in the 1st place.
Don't blame yourself for something you never intended.
But it's good to learn from experience (preferably of others), & avoid woe.
I agree with that, apart from the assault of the children the rest could have probably been avoided but if you start making suggestions like don't walk alone in the dark, trust people you don't know, dress appropriately etc. etc. you get the militant feminist internet keyboard warriors get all defensive and say "but it's the fault of the rapist why should I change my lifestyle, I can do whatever I want". To that I say: Fine. Forget self defence precautions. Do what you want. But I don't want to know nor do I care if something happens to you.
It's really stupid, poor working class women who don't really know anything. My mum has a very successful career of nearly 30 years and in all that time she was very respectable and knew what to do in all situations and didn't get in trouble, nothing happened to her. She didn't let the poor stupid people get to her. If you want to get somewhere in life sometimes you have to do things you don't want, even if that means not drinking alcohol late at night, always going with people and dressing properly and NOT talking to random strangers.
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DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
What it sounds like to you doesn't make it not "real" or Alceste a liar.See knowing what I know I don't hesitate for a second to believe her .Let alone am I surprised one bit she knows more than one woman that has been sexually assaulted.
There are times when some feminists & I are at odds.
Can't please everyone.
Without blaming the victim, it pays to avoid doing things which risk becoming a victim.
The vast majority of victims of rape are assaulted by people they know, not by stranger rape. That accounts for a small percentage.
Clarify please. Are you suggesting that rape victims bring it on themselves, even partially?
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
I blame myself for not defending myself hard enough.What I should have done..what I shouldn't have done all of it.
DallasApple
Depends Upon My Mood..
Right now we are back to how do we make someone NOT rape us.Or molest us.Or sexually harass us.
Like how was I supposed to "make" my 30 yo manager at my 1st job when I was 15 NOT grab my ***?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Dallas, you are not to blame. You were attacked. When we were burglarized in our home, nobody thought to suggest that we brought it on ourselves. But I'm still questioned about where I was, what I did, how did I talk, why didn't I see this coming, etc. when it came to how I survived rape. But being burglarized and having thousands of dollars of valuables stolen and never found? Nary a whisper of disapproval of our family.
Stop blaming yourself. You survived a violent attack. :hug:
Wherenextcolumbus
Well-Known Member
Wow talking about rape really brings out peoples, generally hidden sexism and misogyny.