Seeing That Women Can Go Topless Now Do You Suppose A Lot More Rapes Will Happen?

[DallasApple]

The fact that you're more than happy defending such a sexist comment isn't surprising to me. What if somebody found your horrible personal experiences "funny"?

He wasn't being "sexist" when he made the comment. And if someone thought my personal experiences were funny I would think they were a sociopath and probably a rapist themselves.

 

[ignition]

Again: I haven't addressed the posts you quoted one way or another; my responses to you have been about your own posts and no one else's. You claimed that some posts were sexist, so I asked you to clarify your own in light of that comment because they seemed to imply that victims of sexual assault are to blame for getting attacked, which I found to be a sexist comment that is potentially extremely provocative.

If you don't want to explain what you meant, feel free not to, but don't assume that viewpoints you perceive to be sexist on others' part excuse your own or make them less objectionable.

If you demonstrated that you care about sexism, then perhaps I wouldn't be giving you the cold shoulder. I don't see the point in explaining myself to people who come across as superficial.

 

[Magic Man]

Can I assume by the fact that you're replying to everyone else but not my post, that you're just going to ignore it and I shouldn't expect a response?

 

[Alceste]

Exactly.Its a small % of rapes that are by a complete stranger.And within that its not just women who may have not have used their best judgment.Its ignorant people who think rape is all about a woman walking drunk down a dark alley in a bad part of town in a tight miniskirt.And like you said even IF she did its sill 100% the rapist fault for raping her.Saying "don't complain you were raped " is SICK.

But if it makes him feel any better women already have to fight with the tendency to blame herself somehow.

Tragically, I'm sure that actually does make him feel better. That's why he immediately started trolling and belittling you after you talked about your assaults. Some people are really sad characters. I hope all the supportive, caring, sympathetic comments from more enlightened RF members stay with you longer than the ignorant victim-baiting of one sad individual.

 

[DallasApple]

Tragically, I'm sure that actually does make him feel better. That's why he immediately started trolling and belittling you after you talked about your assaults. Some people are really sad characters. I hope all the supportive, caring, sympathetic comments from more enlightened RF members stay with you longer than the ignorant victim-baiting of one sad individual.

I hope all the supportive, caring, sympathetic comments from more enlightened RF members stay with you longer than the ignorant victim-baiting of one sad individual.

They will I'm very touched.Ya'll lent me your strength and I love you for that.

 

[Debater Slayer]

If you demonstrated that you care about sexism, then perhaps I wouldn't be giving you the cold shoulder. I don't see the point in explaining myself to people who come across as superficial.

You're still making assumptions that you have no way to confirm. You'd know that I've repeatedly stated I support gender equality in many of my posts if you were familiar with them.

At any rate, it seems that you don't want to explain what you meant, so I think this is just a wild-goose chase at this point. Hopefully you'll end up clarifying what you meant to someone else you don't think is as "sexist" as I am...

 

[DallasApple]

I quoted my first post to you above. All I want to know is how you explain the following comments:



I interpret that as blaming the victim and calling them stupid and poor. I realize part of it is saying to avoid certain things to stay safer. It is true that women can take some precautions that decrease their chances of being raped. The problems with what it seems you're saying are:

1) You say if women don't take certain precautions to avoid rape, you don't want to hear them complain when they get raped. That puts all of the responsibility on them and excuses the rapist completely. If the sexual encounter is nonconsensual, it really doesn't matter what the woman did. Nothing she did or didn't do would justify rape. Even if she was careless and didn't pay attention to her surroundings and went against one of your rules, the focus should still be on the rapist and what he did wrong.

2) You imply that by following some rules you set out, a woman can guarantee she'll never get raped. For one thing, all of your suggestions are for avoiding rape by a stranger, but the majority of rapes are perpetrated by men known to the women. For another thing, there is no guarantee that even if you follow your rules you won't get raped.

Im bumping this up.

 

[ignition]

Tragically, I'm sure that actually does make him feel better. That's why he immediately started trolling and belittling you after you talked about your assaults. Some people are really sad characters. I hope all the supportive, caring, sympathetic comments from more enlightened RF members stay with you longer than the ignorant victim-baiting of one sad individual.

Ad hom.

 

[Magic Man]

I feel like, since I just read this, I should post it here:

I was raped at 55. Here is how I responded. - Slate Magazine

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

Dallas, in light of Alceste's plea, I'm gonna do something I rarely do: highlight one of my earlier posts.

I just caught up on this thread. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing, considering some of the crap I just read.

(side note: my "i do not have words" comment above reflects my initial shock. not my current state, now that I have at least had a few moments to think it over.)

Me Myself, you really need to slow down and stop overlooking something that happened in this thread earlier: A survivor came out. Now, I am not a survivor of rape myself, but from the bits and pieces of personal stories I have been allowed to hear from other survivors (the key word being ALLOWED. Jesus Christ, you NEVER ask a survivor what exactly happened--I'm still pretty raw about that. She will share IF and when she is ready. Which may be never.)--from those stories, I can safely say that coming out as a survivor can be an awfully difficult experience. There are no high-fives or hugs of joy that sometimes come when one comes out as gay. No, she or he may be subject to all sorts of crap, such as unhelpful advice on learning self-defense techniques, reminders that a woman needs to keep herself safe (no ****, Sherlock), asking her why she didn't do all that (Alceste already gave a great defense to that), or worse.

What I had to learn years ago, and what you need to understand now, is that for you and me, this is a debate. This is a debate with issues, with affirmative and negative positions, and arguments for and against each side. Our male privilege allows that. But for a survivor, and for many if not all women, it feels more like answering the question of whether they should be fed to the lions. That raises the stakes tremendously. There's a reason why people who show reasonable sensitivity will slap a "trigger warning" label onto discussions such as these. Merely talking about rape, or some specific aspect of rape, can emotionally plunge a survivor back into a terrible place in her mind where she absolutely does not want to go.

Dallas, please understand that you did nothing wrong when you were assaulted. In the heat of the moment, things can be happening so quickly that you hardly even realize that it's sexual assault until sometimes later. Or in other cases, the victim knows exactly what's going on. This varies, and neither is a more "normal" response than the other. Either way, it is 100% the fault of the sick, disgusting perpetrator.

I think I understand now why you would rather err on the side of caution over this issue. If you're wrong, then it means more stress and worry for you. But if you're right, then a mistake--and I hesitate to even imply that--could be life-altering. That's part of the "burden" that I referred to in a previous post, one that all of society--not just women--should help to lift.

 

[Kerr]

I also don't even GET how this thread about topplessnes and women being raped even turned into sexism against men ?And how few people intervene when a man is being slapped and punched by a WOMAN specifically as opposed to the other way around.

Hmmm... I have an idea... lets talk about something more constructive... say... Do you think more woman will rape men now that they can go around topless ?

(Sorry, I just realized I could twist the meaning of the thread title a little :sorry1:.)

 

[ignition]

So this opposition comes simply because you're angry that I said people should take precautions? What a joke this is. You're living in cloud cuckoo land.

 

[ignition]

Some people really need get off the internet. 20K posts really? Unless you're an admin there's just no excuse. Make a life for yourself for god's sakes. No wonder some people's viewpoints are not in line with reality, because all they've experienced is the virtual world.

 

[DallasApple]

Mercy Not Sacrifice,


I read that this morning and along with the other posts offering support and understanding I began to tear up so I thought I would thank you later lest I start bawling.Sometimes people who get it ..really get it... and the kindness that goes along with it hearing that makes me emotional too. :flower2:

I appreciate your willingness and ability to empathize .

 

[DallasApple]

Some people really need get off the internet. 20K posts really? Unless you're an admin there's just no excuse. Make a life for yourself for god's sakes. No wonder some people's viewpoints are not in line with reality, because all they've experienced is the virtual world.

You have an average of 18 posts a day she has an average of 10.So who needs to get off the internet?

 

[Debater Slayer]

So this opposition comes simply because you're angry that I said people should take precautions? What a joke this is.

Not solely, at least for me. If you go back several pages in this thread, you'll notice that I didn't respond to posts on either side of the fence for a while, including the one in which you called victims of sexual assault "stupid" and "poor." But when you went on to claim that you object to sexism in another post... well, how did you expect anything other than being called out on it? It seemed that you either didn't regard your own comments to be sexist or deserving of criticism or you thought the posts you criticized as sexist were worse than your own. Neither case seems any less deplorable than the other.

 

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

Mercy Not Sacrifice,


I read that this morning and along with the other posts offering support and understanding I began to tear up so I thought I would thank you later lest I start bawling.Sometimes people who get it ..really get it... and the kindness that goes along with it hearing that makes me emotional too. :flower2:

I appreciate your willingness and ability to empathize .

Take your time. There is no rush.

 

[ignition]

Not solely, at least for me. If you go back several pages in this thread, you'll notice that I didn't respond to posts on either side of the fence for a while, including the one in which you called victims of sexual assault "stupid" and "poor." But when you went on to claim that you object to sexism in another post... well, how did you expect anything other than being called out on it? It seemed that you either didn't regard your own comments to be sexist or deserving of criticism or you thought the posts you criticized as sexist were worse than your own. Neither case seems any less deplorable than the other.

I don't think anything I've said is anything less than the facts. It is a fact that more rapes happen in the poorer areas where I live, in fact, the police released an interactive map a while ago of the whole of Britain showing where crimes have occurred and what type of crimes. Guess what? Assaults happen most in poorer areas that's a fact. And some people's stupid behaviour can and does sometimes lead to their unfortunate rape or worse, end.

 

[Magic Man]

Some people really need get off the internet. 20K posts really? Unless you're an admin there's just no excuse. Make a life for yourself for god's sakes. No wonder some people's viewpoints are not in line with reality, because all they've experienced is the virtual world.

 

[ignition]

I can see why you felt the need to respond to that one mate hahahaha