Sex and Catholicism

[Estro Felino]

What astonishes me the most about non-Catholics is that they believe that Catholics follow the precepts about sexuality dictated by the Pope and the Vatican Congregations.
That is really laughable. Catholics would be fundamentalists if they followed the Catholic doctrine literally.
I mean...in Catholilandia (my country) maybe just the 4% doesn't have premarital sex. That is, they have sex after the wedding.
And yet Catholic doctrine forbids premarital sex.

And since most people are Catholics, they use contraceptives all the time, even if they are forbidden by the Catholic doctrine.

Honestly I have never met a Catholic person (going to Church) that said that they would never use the pill or the condoms. Never.
And yet they go to Church and take the Eucharist.

Thoughts?

 

[Ruh]

Generally speaking what people do , does not represent their religion . What is written in their scripture ( whether they follow or not..) is their religion .

 

[Stevicus]

What astonishes me the most about non-Catholics is that they believe that Catholics follow the precepts about sexuality dictated by the Pope and the Vatican Congregations.
That is really laughable. Catholics would be fundamentalists if they followed the Catholic doctrine literally.
I mean...in Catholilandia (my country) maybe just the 4% doesn't have premarital sex. That is, they have sex after the wedding.
And yet Catholic doctrine forbids premarital sex.

And since most people are Catholics, they use contraceptives all the time, even if they are forbidden by the Catholic doctrine.

Honestly I have never met a Catholic person (going to Church) that said that they would never use the pill or the condoms. Never.
And yet they go to Church and take the Eucharist.

Thoughts?

So, there are religious people who don't follow the rules of their own religion?

 

[Estro Felino]

So, there are religious people who don't follow the rules of their own religion?

Let's say each Catholic re-interprets the doctrine to make it compatible with their own lifestyle.

I think that it's not that sensible not to use condoms just because the Pope tells us not to use them. If the Pope tells me to jump off a cliff, I won't do it, even if it's the Pope. I guess the least "clever" will jump off a cliff...because it's the Pope who told them so.


But sex is not that important in Catholicism.
I mean...in the Catholic doctrine usury is a deadly sin...and yet so many bankers go to Church and take the Eucharist.

And usury is 100 times graver than premarital sex.

 

[Stevicus]

Let's say each Catholic re-interprets the doctrine to make it compatible with their own lifestyle.

I think that it's not that sensible not to use condoms just because the Pope tells us not to use them. If the Pope tells me to jump off a cliff, I won't do it, even if it's the Pope. I guess the least "clever" will jump off a cliff...because it's the Pope who told them so.


But sex is not that important in Catholicism.
I mean...in the Catholic doctrine usury is a deadly sin...and yet so many bankers go to Church and take the Eucharist.

And usury is 100 times graver than premarital sex.

If they get married after having premarital sex, then I think they can be forgiven. I think the idea is that once a couple has sex, they become instantly "married" in the eyes of God, whereas the wedding is just a blessing of the event. The actual "marriage" is the act of having sex, so there can't really be "premarital marriage." But if the couple breaks up or gets divorced and they have sex with other people, then they're guilty of adultery, which is a violation of one of the Ten Commandments.

 

[Estro Felino]

If they get married after having premarital sex, then I think they can be forgiven. I think the idea is that once a couple has sex, they become instantly "married" in the eyes of God, whereas the wedding is just a blessing of the event. The actual "marriage" is the act of having sex, so there can't really be "premarital marriage." But if the couple breaks up or gets divorced and they have sex with other people, then they're guilty of adultery, which is a violation of one of the Ten Commandments.

Interesting.
I am saddened by what I am going to say: I am afraid the problem of contraception actually hides a very scheming and calculative agenda.
That is, the Church is afraid that Catholics stop procreating, and future babies mean future workers who will donate to the Church.
It's all about the money. Money, and nothing else.
Morality doesn't exist. A bride is allowed to wear the most scandalous and revealing wedding dress, if she donates a conspicuous sum of money to the priest who will celebrate her wedding.

 

[Martin]

I don't know much about Catholics' attitude to sex, but do they still have to eat fish on a Friday?

 

[Estro Felino]

I don't know much about Catholics' attitude to sex, but do they still have to eat fish on a Friday?

Many still avoid eating meat on Friday and during Lent.

But for pasta-eaters is not a sacrifice.

 

[McBell]

What astonishes me the most about non-Catholics is that they believe that Catholics follow the precepts about sexuality dictated by the Pope and the Vatican Congregations.
That is really laughable. Catholics would be fundamentalists if they followed the Catholic doctrine literally.
I mean...in Catholilandia (my country) maybe just the 4% doesn't have premarital sex. That is, they have sex after the wedding.
And yet Catholic doctrine forbids premarital sex.

And since most people are Catholics, they use contraceptives all the time, even if they are forbidden by the Catholic doctrine.

Honestly I have never met a Catholic person (going to Church) that said that they would never use the pill or the condoms. Never.
And yet they go to Church and take the Eucharist.

Thoughts?

My thought is:

First and foremost, their sex life is none of business. Second, their personal beliefs about sex are none of my business. Third, I do not care what their proclaimed religion is, nor what it dictates about sex.​

Though i can not help but wonder why it weighs so heavily on your mind.​

 

[Estro Felino]

My thought is:

First and foremost, their sex life is none of business. Second, their personal beliefs about sex are none of my business. Third, I do not care what their proclaimed religion is, nor what it dictates about sex.​

​

Though i can not help but wonder why it weighs so heavily on your mind.​

Actually this thread is the result of a remark made by several posters.
They were underlying why Catholics tend to have a very libertine sex life using contraceptives, despite the prohibition of these things by the doctrine of the faith.

 

[McBell]

Actually this thread is the result of a remark made by several posters.
They were underlying why Catholics tend to have a very libertine sex life using contraceptives, despite the prohibition of these things by the doctrine of the faith.

Fair enough.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

Catholics are firstly people like any other. Their sexual appetites are the same.
In my younger days the Catholic church had a firm grip on their flock and how they behaved.
Today. It is as if no one is listening. Certainly few care about any rules.

I remember when I lived in Spain in the 50's there were queues out side Catholic churches, with Masses repeated continuously all Sunday morning. Today a full church would be a rarity.

There were equally large crowds at the dance halls in Madrid where prostitutes could be selected, with waiting cabs out side, to ferry the pairs to their nests.

 

[Kathryn]

Well, I am Catholic and have had many opportunities to have extra or premarital sex but choose not to, because of my faith, so there's that.

 

[Estro Felino]

Catholics are firstly people like any other. Their sexual appetites are the same.
In my younger days the Catholic church had a firm grip on their flock and how they behaved.
Today. It is as if no one is listening. Certainly few care about any rules.

I remember when I lived in Spain in the 50's there were queues out side Catholic churches, with Masses repeated continuously all Sunday morning. Today a full church would be a rarity.

There were equally large crowds at the dance halls in Madrid where prostitutes could be selected, with waiting cabs out side, to ferry the pairs to their nests.

The most famous book about Catholics' taboos is The Thorn Birds. A best-selling book.
I don't know whether you have ever read it. In some chapters it really sounds like a porn book.

I think that in Catholicism the swap between sacred and profane is a common characteristic.
And by the way, I remember there was a devout Catholic in my town. She had had so many boyfriends.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

Well, I am Catholic and have had many opportunities to have extra or premarital sex but choose not to, because of my faith, so there's that.

I would suppose that many like you have had temptations, but have had rather more selective outcomes.

Some never could say no, so were sent to Madeline asylums or Laundries often for life.
The fear of such a fate kept many on a very narrow path.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

The most famous books about Catholics' taboos is The Thorn Birds. A best-selling book.
I don't know whether you have ever read it. In some chapters it really looks like a porn book.

I think that in Catholicism the swap between sacred and profane is a common characteristic.
And by the way, I remember there was a devout Catholic in my town. She had had so many boyfriends.

She clearly had a great need for the confessional.
Sin needs religion and religion needs sin in equal measure.
Then Both are sure to prosper.

 

[LuisDantas]

What astonishes me the most about non-Catholics is that they believe that Catholics follow the precepts about sexuality dictated by the Pope and the Vatican Congregations.
That is really laughable. Catholics would be fundamentalists if they followed the Catholic doctrine literally.
I mean...in Catholilandia (my country) maybe just the 4% doesn't have premarital sex. That is, they have sex after the wedding.
And yet Catholic doctrine forbids premarital sex.

And since most people are Catholics, they use contraceptives all the time, even if they are forbidden by the Catholic doctrine.

Honestly I have never met a Catholic person (going to Church) that said that they would never use the pill or the condoms. Never.
And yet they go to Church and take the Eucharist.

Thoughts?

Speaking as a lifelong resident of another contender for "Catholiland" (Brazil), I am under the impression that there are significantly different degrees of adherence to Catholicism. Whether the household bread-earners consider themselves Catholics is also an important factor.

Some Catholics are fundamentalists of some form or another. They are not that many, but their wishes are given a lot of attention and weight beyond their numbers. It is just not usual to fully confront their views, although they are very often ignored. This is the contingent that famously refuses contraception that is not the "little table" ("tabelinha" in Portuguese), which is just a fancy name for awareness of the fertility dates and sexual behavior that avoids fertile days. Just last week a friend of mine told me of people she knows that belong to that contingent.

Going to the other extreme among Catholics, many others are nominally adherents but in practice will just avoid questioning or challenging expectations from devout Catholics and attend services when given a clear prompt. In short, they are taught to be hypocrites and to expect to be kept in peace as a reward for their being hypocrites.

Between those extremes, there is of course a whole spectrum of many people who sincerely try to be good people and good Catholics to the best of their understanding and abilities. Their exact behavior will vary significantly, but quite a few will simply have premarital sex (with various degrees of frequency and reluctance) and feel somewhat guilty either for doing something that they consider sinful or for having to hide that from the people closest to them.

Some will be forced into it, not always with a full realization of what exactly happened to them. Their very angst and conflict will be seen as evidence of a need to "help" them by denying them the ability to make a decision or to act on that decision. Some of the most shameful traits of Brazilian culture come directly from that unnecessary yet protected conflict and its usual "solutions".

Catholics, of course, believe that their behavior is unavoidably sinful to some extent; the degree and form of impact of that belief vary considerably. I assume that many Catholics simply repeatedly have premarital sex, feel somewhat guilty about it, and then repeat the cycle, perhaps with at least one additional step of forgetting all about it, inventing convenient justifications, accepting that in their communities they have no choice but to lie and hide what they do and feel, or perhaps confessing their presumed sin to their Padre in order to learn how to be absolved before returning to their starting point.

 

[wellwisher]

So, there are religious people who don't follow the rules of their own religion?

Being religious and being spiritual are not always the same thing. A good analogy is going to school to learn to be a scientist. After you graduate, you apply what you learned, to real life situations in industry, which is not the same as school life. School life is more an ideal world of hypotheticals, while the real world has its ups and downs and surprises around every corner. If you had a good education, that does not leave you, but it was only the beginning of your education.

Like in life, there those who love education and go on to graduate school, and may even become teachers and professors, so they never leave that life of school. But most graduate, take jobs and have to deal with the real world problems. But still, your alma matter is a place where you feel welcome even of you cannot stay there, forever.

 

[LuisDantas]

So, there are religious people who don't follow the rules of their own religion?

Apparently so.

Yes, it is odd or worse.

 

[Estro Felino]

Speaking as a lifelong resident of another contender for "Catholiland" (Brazil),

Surely. In Brazil there are the biggest Jesus' statues in the world. Not in Rome.

Between those extremes, there is of course a whole spectrum of many people who sincerely try to be good people and good Catholics to the best of their understanding and abilities. Their exact behavior will vary significantly, but quite a few will simply have premarital sex (with various degrees of frequency and reluctance) and feel somewhat guilty either for doing something that they consider sinful or for having to hide that from the people closest to them.

Honestly I have never heard of Catholic people (and I mean regular church attendees) feeling guilty about premarital sex.
The males will even brag about having sex with their pals.

Catholics, of course, believe that their behavior is unavoidably sinful to some extent; the degree and form of impact of that belief vary considerably. I assume that many Catholics simply repeatedly have premarital sex, feel somewhat guilty about it, and then repeat the cycle, perhaps with at least one additional step of forgetting all about it, inventing convenient justifications, accepting that in their communities they have no choice but to lie and hide what they do and feel, or perhaps confessing their presumed sin to their Padre in order to learn how to be absolved before returning to their starting point.

I don't know...I belong to the millennial generation.
Honestly I have never heard of people (among my peers) regretting about having sex because of "religious reasons" or "feeling guilty".
Maybe we are a shameless generation.
Even if I remember that the mother of a classmate of mine said that she had forced her daughter to go to the gynaecologist to have the pill prescribed...and she was bragging about it.