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Should belief be private?

tarasan

Well-Known Member
StephenW
I feel you are missing the purpose of this thread. My opening post is concerned with religious belief. I'm sure you don't tell your children that they will be punished as sinners if they don't follow your love of motorbikes. Well, hopefully not, anyway...:D

Why would it matter? why would this be any worse than, you are just an organism which will die and be forgotten in about 90 years?

which view of life would be acceptable for you?
 

sandandfoam

Veteran Member
StephenW
I feel you are missing the purpose of this thread. My opening post is concerned with religious belief. I'm sure you don't tell your children that they will be punished as sinners if they don't follow your love of motorbikes. Well, hopefully not, anyway...:D


Indeed, I don't tell them they'll be punished. Even if they grow up and ride a BMW :)

I also take them to church these days. They don't hear about hell and punishment there - but I am teaching them by example about religion. Same as the bikes really.
 

Noaidi

slow walker
Why would it matter? Because that child may go through it's life feeling guilty about the fact that it rejected his/her parents belief and have a nagging doubt about burning in hell into the bargain.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
Tarasan, while I would not use Noaidi's wording, I can see his point.

The problem is with the use of fear to scare children into supposedly "correct" beliefs. It is indeed morally questionable at best.

It is one thing to let children know about your belief in God and your faith in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit. It is another entirely to tell them that they will suffer if they "fail" in believing / acting in some "proper" religious way.

In fact, I don't think it is proper religious behavior to use fear tactics at all, regardless of whatever faith we may be talking about.
 

tarasan

Well-Known Member
Why would it matter? Because that child may go through it's life feeling guilty about the fact that it rejected his/her parents belief and have a nagging doubt about burning in hell into the bargain.

awesome and if an athiest converts to christianity he may get the nagging feeling that his parents think he is deluded and that he is wasting his life!

you can take any world view/career etc and turn it into something bad.

The fact is that we cant teach our children nothing!

It is best that we are just honest with them and tell them what we believe and why we believe it.
 

Noaidi

slow walker
I also take them to church these days. They don't hear about hell and punishment there - but I am teaching them by example about religion. Same as the bikes really.

Where do your children hear about hell and punishment, if it's part of the christian worldview? Will you be happy with them knowing about such a concept? How would you feel if they rejected your views?

Sorry- so many questions!:D
 

tarasan

Well-Known Member
Tarasan, while I would not use Noaidi's wording, I can see his point.

The problem is with the use of fear to scare children into supposedly "correct" beliefs. It is indeed morally questionable at best.

It is one thing to let children know about your belief in God and your faith in Jesus and in the Holy Spirit. It is another entirely to tell them that they will suffer if they "fail" in believing / acting in some "proper" religious way.

In fact, I don't think it is proper religious behavior to use fear tactics at all, regardless of whatever faith we may be talking about.

see my above post Im not repeating myself
 

Noaidi

slow walker
The fact is that we cant teach our children nothing!

It is best that we are just honest with them and tell them what we believe and why we believe it.

Tarasan, we can and do teach our children things - that's how they learn right from wrong, not to put their hand in the fire and so on.
I agree with your last statement. We can tell our kids what we believe (or don't believe) with regards to religion, but ultimately, as with anything deeply personal, it has to be left up to the individual to decide.
 

tarasan

Well-Known Member
Tarasan, we can and do teach our children things - that's how they learn right from wrong, not to put their hand in the fire and so on.
I agree with your last statement. We can tell our kids what we believe (or don't believe) with regards to religion, but ultimately, as with anything deeply personal, it has to be left up to the individual to decide.

well then youve just conceeded your point the post I was replying too was deeply against me telling my kids about my faith encase they thought they were going to hell, but now your saying that I can?

Ultiamtely my view is that ultiamtely we have a huge impact on what our kids believe, and they may feel badly if they were to reject anything not just religion.
 

sandandfoam

Veteran Member
Where do your children hear about hell and punishment, if it's part of the christian worldview?

The idea that hell is a state of mind is equally valid. If and when they ask I'll tell them something along those lines. Hell and punishment has nothing to do with Christianity as I understand Christianity. Peace, love, non-violence and salvation are what Christianity means to me.




Will you be happy with them knowing about such a concept? How would you feel if they rejected your views?
If they hold to such concepts they will have rejected my views. I'm fine with them rejecting my views - we all must find our own way.


Sorry- so many questions!:D
No problem
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
awesome and if an athiest converts to christianity he may get the nagging feeling that his parents think he is deluded and that he is wasting his life!

Are you assuming that most atheists have atheist parents? Here in the Americas it is in fact more usual for them to be Christians, you know.

Still, even leaving that aside, I think you are giving faith too little credit. Of course a Christian will meet people who are not Christians themselves, including perhaps their own parents. It is normal and not to be a trouble.

I don't quite see why you're comparing the emotional scars that fear mongering often leave in children with the (often healthy and rarely troublesome) understanding that not everyone shares one's own religious faith. Do you feel that the later is really so heavy a burden?

you can take any world view/career etc and turn it into something bad.

You can also intoxicate yourself with most any substance, but we still find it sensible to specifically avoid actual poisons and drugs.

Fear is a sort of poison.

The fact is that we cant teach our children nothing!

That is why I disagreed with Noaidi's wording. At first glace it would seem so (with respect to religious belief).

Still, I'm sure Noaidi will tell us whether he finds it wrong, for instance, to recite Psalm 23 on the presence of one's kids.

Psalm 23 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com

I'm not even a believer in God myself, but I sure don't see anything wrong with that. In fact, I rather like that Psalm.

It is not the belief itself that is dangerous. It is the fear that sometimes is pushed along with it.

It is best that we are just honest with them and tell them what we believe and why we believe it.

I agree completely.
 

Noaidi

slow walker
well then youve just conceeded your point the post I was replying too was deeply against me telling my kids about my faith encase they thought they were going to hell, but now your saying that I can?

My previous points have been about teaching kids to be part of a religion. My last post is concerned with telling kids what I think / believe if they ask. There is a difference. One is indoctrination and the other is education.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
As a hopefully-relevant aside, I want to note that fear of hell is not something unanimously supported by Christians or even by Christian denominations. From what I know of the Seventh Day Adventists' history, it would seem that it is in fact something of a controversial point.
 

Noaidi

slow walker
As a hopefully-relevant aside, I want to note that fear of hell is not something unanimously supported by Christians or even by Christian denominations. From what I know of the Seventh Day Adventists' history, it would seem that it is in fact something of a controversial point.

Yes, there are a variety of views regarding hell. It's the fire and brimstone version that I am concerned with. I've seen the effects of teaching this version to kids first hand.

I suppose I should state here that my experiences of religion have not been positive, which is why I may be coming across as being rather harsh in my view of not promoting it to children.
I'll back off a little! :yes:
 

tarasan

Well-Known Member
Are you assuming that most atheists have atheist parents? Here in the Americas it is in fact more usual for them to be Christians, you know.

Still, even leaving that aside, I think you are giving faith too little credit. Of course a Christian will meet people who are not Christians themselves, including perhaps their own parents. It is normal and not to be a trouble.

I think your misunderstanding me, Noaidi was using Christianity as an example of why Christians shouldnt make them a part of our religion because of the whole fear of hell, I was using this as an example to show that even if it was a purely atheistic household the whole fear of "AM I wasting my life or deluded" would still be at the back of the ex-athiests mind because of his parents conditioning I was trying to show that no matter what the belief it could still have I negative effect.

I don't quite see why you're comparing the emotional scars that fear mongering often leave in children with the (often healthy and rarely troublesome) understanding that not everyone shares one's own religious faith. Do you feel that the later is really so heavy a burden?

Im not making this kind of a comparison at all? where did you get this from?



[/quote]You can also intoxicate yourself with most any substance, but we still find it sensible to specifically avoid actual poisons and drugs.

Fear is a sort of poison.[/quote]

Fear is not a sort of poison some Fear can be really really good, aka the fear to not punch the lion in the face to use an extreme example.



That is why I disagreed with Noaidi's wording. At first glace it would seem so (with respect to religious belief).

Still, I'm sure Noaidi will tell us whether he finds it wrong, for instance, to recite Psalm 23 on the presence of one's kids.

Psalm 23 - Passage*Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com

I'm not even a believer in God myself, but I sure don't see anything wrong with that. In fact, I rather like that Psalm.

It is not the belief itself that is dangerous. It is the fear that sometimes is pushed along with it.



I agree completely.

Like I said no matter what religious view there is there will always be some kind of fear taht will be pushed along with it, even if we dont push our faith onto our kids that doesnt stop the possibility of there being the kind of fear that you describe, for example.

A new athiest may be scared for his parents that they are deluding themselves on their religion, living in supression to a make believe God, not living to their full potiential.
 

tarasan

Well-Known Member
My previous points have been about teaching kids to be part of a religion. My last post is concerned with telling kids what I think / believe if they ask. There is a difference. One is indoctrination and the other is education.

I think being a part of it for a while is the only way that they will truely understand it, there is a difference between learning about it in a testbook and living it out. So no it isnt indoctrination, after all they still have secular school and friends, its not like they are completely isolated from other views.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
I think your misunderstanding me, Noaidi was using Christianity as an example of why Christians shouldnt make them a part of our religion because of the whole fear of hell, I was using this as an example to show that even if it was a purely atheistic household the whole fear of "AM I wasting my life or deluded" would still be at the back of the ex-athiests mind because of his parents conditioning I was trying to show that no matter what the belief it could still have I negative effect.

(...)

Im not making this kind of a comparison at all? where did you get this from?

See, that is what I was talking about. There is no comparison between the fear of hell that some people teach children to have and the anxieties of perhaps having chosen the wrong belief about God.

The first is often enough crippling for life. The second is usually temporary, minor and even healthy.


Fear is not a sort of poison

I beg to strongly disagree. It is indeed a major poison, and one not sufficiently recognized as such.

some Fear can be really really good, aka the fear to not punch the lion in the face to use an extreme example.

That is in fact the issue. Fear should be reserved for extreme danger. Fear of hell is probably a bad thing even if we take teachings about Hell at face value. After all, it is courage and love that make a person better, not fear.

Like I said no matter what religious view there is there will always be some kind of fear that will be pushed along with it,

Gosh, that is certainly not true, and by a long shot. ;) It would be terrible if it were!

even if we dont push our faith onto our kids that doesnt stop the possibility of there being the kind of fear that you describe, for example.

Actually, I will have to directly disagree here. It is my personal conviction (albeit one that is not sufficiently demonstrated yet) that it is in fact impossible for kids to acquire anything similar to the destructive fear of hell that plagues so many people these days, if they only have a steady and consistent supply of loving care and communication while they grow up.

I disagree with Noaidi about where exactly the root cause of that fear comes. He associates it with religion itself, or at least with the pressure to adhere to one. I think the whole problem is being taught to have fear as a matter of being a "proper" person. In that sense, it doesn't even really have much to do with religion, although some people do indeed have a poor religious understanding and in fact believe that it is their duty to instill fear of God and/or of Hell into their children.

Which is a crying, revolting shame, of course.

A new atheist may be scared for his parents that they are deluding themselves on their religion, living in supression to a make believe God, not living to their full potiential.

Scared? Maybe if his parents are drooling psychos or something, I guess. Certainly not simply due to disagreements about the existence of God.
 

tarasan

Well-Known Member
See, that is what I was talking about. There is no comparison between the fear of hell that some people teach children to have and the anxieties of perhaps having chosen the wrong belief about God.

The first is often enough crippling for life. The second is usually temporary, minor and even healthy.

That isnt the case I have to completely disagree if we agree that there is an absolute truth then yes I can most certianly see why people would fear that a parents is wasting their lives over their faith I mean I would fear for my parents going to a churhc everyday for some illustionary man, trusting their lives to a figment of their imagination, going off to some remote place for thier illusionairy God, heck id be scared for them.




I beg to strongly disagree. It is indeed a major poison, and one not sufficiently recognized as such.



That is in fact the issue. Fear should be reserved for extreme danger. Fear of hell is probably a bad thing even if we take teachings about Hell at face value. After all, it is courage and love that make a person better, not fear.

Hell isnt about maknig a person better, the relationship and love of God is what makes a person better your misrepresenting my faith.



Gosh, that is certainly not true, and by a long shot. ;) It would be terrible if it were!

not particularly so, its our drive to convince people they are wrong, why do you think athiests are running about trying to convince thiests, its the thought of them wasting their lives, or doing something stupid for the cause of some imaginary being, for just one example.



Actually, I will have to directly disagree here. It is my personal conviction (albeit one that is not sufficiently demonstrated yet) that it is in fact impossible for kids to acquire anything similar to the destructive fear of hell that plagues so many people these days, if they only have a steady and consistent supply of loving care and communication while they grow up.

I disagree with Noaidi about where exactly the root cause of that fear comes. He associates it with religion itself, or at least with the pressure to adhere to one. I think the whole problem is being taught to have fear as a matter of being a "proper" person. In that sense, it doesn't even really have much to do with religion, although some people do indeed have a poor religious understanding and in fact believe that it is their duty to instill fear of God and/or of Hell into their children.

Which is a crying, revolting shame, of course.

No it isnt religion, in fact I believe my faith is more prone to takingaway fear than distilling it, yeah people do emphasis it alot, but they are in the minority, and shouldnt be used to show how my whole religion causes fear.



Scared? Maybe if his parents are drooling psychos or something, I guess. Certainly not simply due to disagreements about the existence of God.

I would be scared if my parents are wasting their lives on an imaginary creature or a figment of their imagination, but then again maybe thats just me:shrug:
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
I think being a part of it for a while is the only way that they will truely understand it, there is a difference between learning about it in a testbook and living it out. So no it isnt indoctrination, after all they still have secular school and friends, its not like they are completely isolated from other views.

I tend to agree.
 
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