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Should GBLT individuals 'stay in the closet'?
- Thread starter Nymphs
- Start date
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
As long as it doesn't harm anyone, no one should be expected to yield and forfeit their life because someone else has the maturity of a five year old who finds all that lovey-dovey stuff icky and announces it to the world with an "eeeeewwwwww."
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
Let it goooooo. Let it goooooooo!
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
This is just a request, but I'm starting to really dislike the "Just asking a question" style of these threads as I think by itself it causes more controversy than otherwise.
The thread opens it up for people to say "of course not they should protect my children by being closeted" rather than just assuming otherwise. Same with the now locked Rape thread, and the multiple poly threads.
Maybe this is just me, but it feels very much like baiting those who disagree to start a fight, rather than just saying "Here's my awesome coming out story" If someone starts a fight there that's a whole other thing.
The thread opens it up for people to say "of course not they should protect my children by being closeted" rather than just assuming otherwise. Same with the now locked Rape thread, and the multiple poly threads.
Maybe this is just me, but it feels very much like baiting those who disagree to start a fight, rather than just saying "Here's my awesome coming out story" If someone starts a fight there that's a whole other thing.
Gjallarhorn
N'yog-Sothep
Tell people to hide their self-identity is only worth doing if they're at risk of severe punishment or harm.
Other than that, closets aren't meant for people.
Other than that, closets aren't meant for people.
My philosophy:
Stay in the closet until you find the perfect ensemble, then you come out & be FABULOUS!
True story:
One fella who worked for me had unique outfits when helping police parking lots during a gigantic art fair.
He was about 7.5 feet of high heels, emerald green corset, multicolored feathers & huge attitude.
This is how we roll in Revoltingistan. (Yeah, he was on roller blades some of the time.)
Stay in the closet until you find the perfect ensemble, then you come out & be FABULOUS!
True story:
One fella who worked for me had unique outfits when helping police parking lots during a gigantic art fair.
He was about 7.5 feet of high heels, emerald green corset, multicolored feathers & huge attitude.
This is how we roll in Revoltingistan. (Yeah, he was on roller blades some of the time.)
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Nymphs
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry you feel that way. I find it a way to get people talking in a way that perhaps that they wouldn't beforehand.
I'd rather know what people think (like the above example) then them keeping it hidden.
If they want to be baited by my threads, they can -- it isn't my intention. My intention is to get to know what people really think, and if their views are controversial, then lets discuss it.
For some reason, over the years I have come to understand this "closet" thing less and less. In our interpersonal relations, we are always selective in what we share with others.
When it comes to sexuality, that's something you don't go shoving in other people's faces no matter what your orientation is. I neither want to know nor care what another person's sexual orientation is unless I'm considering them as a sexual partner. Even then, I only care out of respectfulness of the other person, not because I think their sexual orientation means anything beyond what it is. I have trouble seeing the point of "coming out;" it's irrelevant information and isn't going to change how I see you as a person. So why do it? Because there are some idiot bigots out there who will throw a fuss over it?
Perhaps I don't believe in accommodating other people's bigotries by stuffing certain information in ourselves in "closets" and "coming out" processes. I think we should abolish this way of looking at something. Or, when it ceases to be relevant, we'll know the idiot bigotry has been defeated.
When it comes to sexuality, that's something you don't go shoving in other people's faces no matter what your orientation is. I neither want to know nor care what another person's sexual orientation is unless I'm considering them as a sexual partner. Even then, I only care out of respectfulness of the other person, not because I think their sexual orientation means anything beyond what it is. I have trouble seeing the point of "coming out;" it's irrelevant information and isn't going to change how I see you as a person. So why do it? Because there are some idiot bigots out there who will throw a fuss over it?
Perhaps I don't believe in accommodating other people's bigotries by stuffing certain information in ourselves in "closets" and "coming out" processes. I think we should abolish this way of looking at something. Or, when it ceases to be relevant, we'll know the idiot bigotry has been defeated.
Why or why not?
I'm an absolute get out of the closet and be open and yourself.
Unless you're in an area where you might be hurt for coming out. Sometimes, it's not a good idea, and you need to find or create a safety plan or find another community.
I cannot help but somewhat sympathize. Conversations such as ...
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
I say it's up to personal choice.
If someone feels that staying in the closet is more beneficial, then that should be their choice. The same goes for someone who wants to be out.
It's no one else's business, except for the individual.
If someone feels that staying in the closet is more beneficial, then that should be their choice. The same goes for someone who wants to be out.
It's no one else's business, except for the individual.
Depends on the circumstances. As a trans man, I don't announce that I'm trans to everyone I interact with who misgenders me. I don't feel like explaining it over and over and many people don't understand it in the first place. It's bad enough that when I'm on the bus, I have to hear morons loudly talking bad about gay people.
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And if your not open to opinions,feel free to leave.If you don't like it, don't participate.
Why or why not?
I'm an absolute get out of the closet and be open and yourself.
Same here. Life is simply too short.
I once heard a joke, "But why should he come out of the closet, look at all his pretty clothes"
But really - it's up to the person. I personally think people should take responsibility for what is expected. For example, if someone's father was an extreme anti-gay person, and the son was gay, the son should estimate the consequences and be ready for them. I've heard from someone that they told their parents of their sexual preference, when it was obvious the parent wouldn't be happy about it in the first place, and then cry about how they yelled at them. Sure, it's not their fault for the parents views on such thing, but if it's obvious that the people around you are going to be angry, and you don't want them to be, then the common sense thing to do would be not tell them - don't expect a magical switch of opinion.
The same applies for anything.
But really - it's up to the person. I personally think people should take responsibility for what is expected. For example, if someone's father was an extreme anti-gay person, and the son was gay, the son should estimate the consequences and be ready for them. I've heard from someone that they told their parents of their sexual preference, when it was obvious the parent wouldn't be happy about it in the first place, and then cry about how they yelled at them. Sure, it's not their fault for the parents views on such thing, but if it's obvious that the people around you are going to be angry, and you don't want them to be, then the common sense thing to do would be not tell them - don't expect a magical switch of opinion.
The same applies for anything.
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
And if your not open to opinions,feel free to leave.
Never said I wasn't...don't assume there is something there where there isn't. Do you really think I would make threads like I have if I wasn't open to others opinions?
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
I think people should do whatever they want which suits their personality and goals. I don't think people should feel forced socially to announce the details of their private life to the world if they don't want to, and I don't think people should feel inhibited from doing so if they want to.
I'm a fairly private person who gauges revealing personal details about my life depending on the person and situation. I've known a number of gay people who are of a similar type, and they don't feel the need to "come out" or reveal other personal details about their lives. I've also known people, both gay and straight, who find it desirable to make announcements about their personal lives, and some people find such symbolic acts fulfilling or transformative.
I'm a fairly private person who gauges revealing personal details about my life depending on the person and situation. I've known a number of gay people who are of a similar type, and they don't feel the need to "come out" or reveal other personal details about their lives. I've also known people, both gay and straight, who find it desirable to make announcements about their personal lives, and some people find such symbolic acts fulfilling or transformative.
Sometimes closets have transparent doors. Mine did. When I admitted to my family and a few friends (and to myself) I'm gay, they were like "oh please, that's old news!" They knew before I did. The point is that sometimes, maybe often, other people already know. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. No matter what a person's sexuality, talking about it is déclassé.
The point is that sometimes, maybe often, other people already know. I don't hide it but I don't announce it either. No matter what a person's sexuality, talking about it is déclassé.