Should Spanking Your Children Be Illegal?

[Mathematician]

I also believe a better way of teaching discipline than withholding toys [though I don't necessarily oppose such tactics] is simply social interaction. Basing everything off of material objects is one major flaw in our current society, I think. First, explain what they did wrong and make sure they understand. If they continue to do wrong, then cut off social interaction. Child eats by himself or herself for the day. Parent doesn't listen to what he/she wants to say. I tried this with my brother and it worked better than anything else. My step-dad sometimes spanks. My mom sometimes screams. My grandmother takes away objects. None of it really worked. Then I simply refused to do anything with him and he learned real quick.

Social rewards are better than material ones.

 

[Smoke]

I don't have any children, but I've had lots of dogs. You can train a dog with negative reinforcement, but you can train him much better with positive reinforcement; with positive reinforcement you get a happier, healthier, better-behaved dog. I'm under the impression that the same is true of children.

 

[Luke_17:2]

Children are not dogs.

How to raise children is up to the parents. All I can say is this; my grand father was raised with spanking, my father was, I was, my children were.

It's been my experience that it works. The kids don't end up affected by it other then that they learned at an early age not to do certain things. When they get older, the fact that certain things are wrong is already instilled, and they then start to understand why things are wrong, and that doing them will entail consequences.

BUT, if you don't want to use it, your right. Just keep your ideas for raising children out of everyone else's home.

 

[Smoke]

Children are not dogs.

No kidding.

 

[Luke_17:2]

No kidding.

They're not dogs. but dogs don't get to sit at the dinner table like civilized human beings. Children do, so I expect them to behave correctly.

 

[Mathematician]

BUT, if you don't want to use it, your right. Just keep your ideas for raising children out of everyone else's home.

Some parents' ideas of raising children is a swift fist in the face. These kids tend to be the most obedient persons you'll ever find. If spanking is seen as violence, the parent has no "right" to spank their kid.

It's been my experience that it works. The kids don't end up affected by it other then that they learned at an early age not to do certain things. When they get older, the fact that certain things are wrong is already instilled, and they then start to understand why things are wrong, and that doing them will entail consequences.

Hitting kids works too. The idea humans need violence for a sense of right and wrong to be instilled is not only wrong; it's scary.

 

[Moey]

I find that there is nothing wrong with spanking, however it makes no difference if it is outlawed or not. Kids are already being taught in school that if your parent touches you to tell a teacher. A child throwing a temper tantrum already knows to tell their teacher their mom hit them and then Mom will be in trouble. What they don't realise is what will happen after that. So most parents I know are already afraid to spank their children.

Kids today have no manners and are not disiplined. Is this due to the non spanking?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I find that there is nothing wrong with spanking, however it makes no difference if it is outlawed or not. Kids are already being taught in school that if your parent touches you to tell a teacher. A child throwing a temper tantrum already knows to tell their teacher their mom hit them and then Mom will be in trouble. What they don't realise is what will happen after that. So most parents I know are already afraid to spank their children.

Kids today have no manners and are not disiplined. Is this due to the non spanking?

There are some who believe this is so. Others might blame television and console/computer games for lack of person-to-person communication skills. There are fingers that have always pointed to the absence of fathers from divorce or from long work hours. People still blame mothers, too, for entering the work force when their kids are still young.

Let's see........people blame taking prayer out of schools, blended families, and acceptance of homosexuality more and more by the mainstream . Then there's our sugar-heavy diets, sleep deprivation from TVs in kids' bedrooms, and rampant materialism.

Did I leave anything out?

Maybe we should all ship our kids out to be raised by the Amish.




Peace,
Mystic

 

[fullyveiled muslimah]

I find that there is nothing wrong with spanking, however it makes no difference if it is outlawed or not. Kids are already being taught in school that if your parent touches you to tell a teacher. A child throwing a temper tantrum already knows to tell their teacher their mom hit them and then Mom will be in trouble. What they don't realise is what will happen after that. So most parents I know are already afraid to spank their children.

Kids today have no manners and are not disiplined. Is this due to the non spanking?

This is one thing I fear about that law. How many households are affected in this way by that? How many kids will remain as mannerable as always, and how many little monsters will you have saying, "my mom grabbed my arm and threw me into the corner for a time out", when in fact the mother grabbed the childs arm to make them stand in the corner, and didn't throw them anywhere?

The focus of this thread is not whether spankings are necessary or not, but whether or not it should be outlawed. The state then has to define spanking. What is touching the child with a spanking? Is it physically restraining a kid without hurting them? What about physically putting them into the corner? What is a spanking? Some people on this very forum cannot distinguish between an all out beating, and a spanking, so we are to expect the government to figure it out. How far does this even go? I wonder if there will be mandatory parenting classes to take either before one plans pregnancy or during it? If I give my 4 year old two swats to the rear how long should I have to sit in jail? How much should my fine be, and will I get any slack if I am too poor to make payments? All these are valid questions. I think the state will have way too much say in what goes on in people's houses, and saying a simple spanking is abuse dwarfs the seriousness of real abuse. A child who is really abused would most likely not even tell a soul out of fear, so will the real abusers even get caught in this big net? I don't think so. I think parents who are not abusers will feel the wrath of the state, and real offenders won't, and that would not be fair at all.

Furthermore children are fast learners. A child who wants to get back at mom and dad know they need only say they got a spanking, and mom and dad will suffer. What doe sit teach children to know that they can all the police and say "I got a spanking" and the police will come running. If that law is passed the child won't even have to exaggerate the spanking at all. By making spanking illegal, it doesn't matter what happened, what the child did, whether or not it left marks or bruises, whether or not you only spank occasionally or all the time, spanking will be illegal period, so any type of hit will be against the law, therefore the child will not have to say anything more than what actually happened, and the state will have to follow-up lest it be a real case of abuse going on. This law makes everyone equal in its eyes, which in this case is a bad thing. Under this law the parent who spanks moderately or occasionally will be on par with the parent who punches their children in the face and body and breaks bones for "discipline". Is that right? Are those two parents the same?

 

[MoonWater]

This is one thing I fear about that law. How many households are affected in this way by that? How many kids will remain as mannerable as always, and how many little monsters will you have saying, "my mom grabbed my arm and threw me into the corner for a time out", when in fact the mother grabbed the childs arm to make them stand in the corner, and didn't throw them anywhere?

The focus of this thread is not whether spankings are necessary or not, but whether or not it should be outlawed. The state then has to define spanking. What is touching the child with a spanking? Is it physically restraining a kid without hurting them? What about physically putting them into the corner? What is a spanking? Some people on this very forum cannot distinguish between an all out beating, and a spanking, so we are to expect the government to figure it out. How far does this even go? I wonder if there will be mandatory parenting classes to take either before one plans pregnancy or during it? If I give my 4 year old two swats to the rear how long should I have to sit in jail? How much should my fine be, and will I get any slack if I am too poor to make payments? All these are valid questions. I think the state will have way too much say in what goes on in people's houses, and saying a simple spanking is abuse dwarfs the seriousness of real abuse. A child who is really abused would most likely not even tell a soul out of fear, so will the real abusers even get caught in this big net? I don't think so. I think parents who are not abusers will feel the wrath of the state, and real offenders won't, and that would not be fair at all.

Furthermore children are fast learners. A child who wants to get back at mom and dad know they need only say they got a spanking, and mom and dad will suffer. What doe sit teach children to know that they can all the police and say "I got a spanking" and the police will come running. If that law is passed the child won't even have to exaggerate the spanking at all. By making spanking illegal, it doesn't matter what happened, what the child did, whether or not it left marks or bruises, whether or not you only spank occasionally or all the time, spanking will be illegal period, so any type of hit will be against the law, therefore the child will not have to say anything more than what actually happened, and the state will have to follow-up lest it be a real case of abuse going on. This law makes everyone equal in its eyes, which in this case is a bad thing. Under this law the parent who spanks moderately or occasionally will be on par with the parent who punches their children in the face and body and breaks bones for "discipline". Is that right? Are those two parents the same?

That's why, while I don't condone spanking I also don't condone making it illegal. However I do think that whether or not spanking is wrong is quite relevant to this debate.

 

[Don Penguinoini]

My spanking set me straight.

 

[Moey]

No they are not the same and IMO people need to realise that when my mother spanked my brother for setting fire to the kitchen it was not abuse. But when my friend was hit and sent flying, THAT was abuse. And unless we are abusing our kids then the state and everyone else should stay out of it.

 

[Don Penguinoini]

Kids need a good smack on the bum to send the msagge, shut up and dont do it again. I have a 5 year old nephew, and when he gets mouthy, its a slap on the bum for him. The parents dont mind (even though im 13) When he cries, i hit him again... Then he stops crying and then starts playing. Spanking does good. But there has to be a line from spanking and abuse. And it happpens a lot too.

 

[MoonWater]

Kids need a good smack on the bum to send the msagge, shut up and dont do it again. I have a 5 year old nephew, and when he gets mouthy, its a slap on the bum for him. The parents dont mind (even though im 13) When he cries, i hit him again... Then he stops crying and then starts playing. Spanking does good. But there has to be a line from spanking and abuse. And it happpens a lot too.

As has been said before. Just because spankings work on some kids doesn't mean there aren't better, more effective, less painful ways to discipline a child. And not everyone has the same experience as you did. Like with me getting spanked made it harder for me to develope a close relationship with my dad. Saying children need a good smack seems to mean that you think spanking is the only way to discipline a child but that could not be further from the truth.

 

[Moey]

Spanking is not always effective. My niece didn't respond to spankings so alternative disciplin had to be used.

 

[Don Penguinoini]

As has been said before. Just because spankings work on some kids doesn't mean there aren't better, more effective, less painful ways to discipline a child. And not everyone has the same experience as you did. Like with me getting spanked made it harder for me to develope a close relationship with my dad. Saying children need a good smack seems to mean that you think spanking is the only way to discipline a child but that could not be further from the truth.

You are right, it differs from child to child, but this also depends on the childs growing up. If they (parents) suddenly started to spank there children, it wouldnt work, but if they did it from a young age, it wouldnt be so bad.

 

[Bishka]

You are right, it differs from child to child, but this also depends on the childs growing up. If they (parents) suddenly started to spank there children, it wouldnt work, but if they did it from a young age, it wouldnt be so bad.

No offense, but you are thirteen.

Have you ever had to raise children? Taken any classes? Or seen how all children respond differently? Spanking/Smacking/hitting should never be used against children unless that child is in immediate danger.

 

[Don Penguinoini]

I have spanked plenty of lil kids. I have a lotta lil nephews. Even family friends (who we consider blood relations)

I cant rasie children. But i am a child. A child is the one who gets spanked in the first place, so i would know better then you. Immidiate danger? A little over the top. I see how kids reacts. Most of them react positivley.

And, none taken either.

 

[Bishka]

I Immidiate danger? A little over the top. I see how kids reacts. Most of them react positivley.

Pardon? How is immediate danger over the top? IF they are about grab a knife, walk into a busy street, etc.

Children should not be hit for a punishment, ever!

 

[Don Penguinoini]

I mis-read your post, i stand corrected.

Yes they should be hit, it teaches them a lesson to not do it again.