Should Teens Marry?

[kadzbiz]

.....teens, right now, are NOT capable of handling serious relationships though...100 years ago...they were

For the most part -- no. The teenager of our day and age are much less mature then they were 100 years ago. Most teenagers of our day do not know how to cook, clean, run a household, etc.

Some valid points raised here in this thread. I agree that teenagers are not very mature these days, in general, but there are exceptions of course because of how and where they are brought up, ie. with lots of responsibility due to a number of reasons.

Now I don't know how mature teens were a century ago because I wasn't alive back then. I don't think the above two were either. If one was to ask someone that is old enough to know, they would possibly say teens were more mature, but it's a very subjective point of view. Kids these days have their minds focused on a lot more things that may or may not be as important as; making sure there is enough wood for the fireplace or seeing to the farm animals or helping with vital home chores.

Another point I would like to raise is with regard to sexual maturity. It is well known that a male's sexual peak is around 18 and a female's is around 30 (I'm only vaguely recalling the ages here).

As far as teens getting married, I don't see why the hurry to get married so soon, even if they truly love each other dearly. I'm not saying that they don't know what they're doing and that they might grow out of love for each other, but it does happen, we do change in our feelings for things as we age and one good point I read in another post is that the brain hasn't fully developed until we're around 22 years old.

I know everybody is different and people can make things work. For those of you who married young, I wish you every success.

 

[Comprehend]

Should teenagers get married? Or is that too young? Why or why not?

only if they are also cousins.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Biologically I think we are fitted to marry in our teens, at least in terms of reproduction and families and such. But the reason we evolved in this way is because average lifespans used to be much, much younger than they are now.

[Caveat: The rest of this will be USA-centric because it is where I live]

Our society is actively pushing back adulthood. Even in terms of the past 30 years or so the amount of people attending college has increased dramatically. Add to that the increasing attendance in professional and graduate schools, and we're looking at a dramatically increased path to adulthood. I think the mentality associated with continuing school well past age 22 means that people tend to avoid that "adult" mindset until they begin their careers. How much the actual mindset has to do with a successful marriage, I am not really sure. However I think the experiences (lots of dating, lots of different social settings) and education of college definitely contribute to a better understanding of relationships.

I don't have the specific statistic on this, but I read not too long ago that for every year marriage is put off starting at like age 20, divorce rates increasingly decline until topping out somewhere in the 30's. Basically, the chance of divorce with people who have college degrees tends to be much lower.

• Just found a couple stats: for women who marry between 20 and 24, there is a 36.6% chance of divorce. And for women who marry between 25 and 29, the percentage drops to 16.4%. It further drops to 8.5% for women who marry between age 30 and 34.
• 59 percent of marriages for women under the age of 18 end in divorce within 15 years. The divorce rate drops to 36 percent for those married at age 20 or older.

There are some good points there! The only problem women have of waiting til they are 30 or more to marry, is if they want children - it becomes more risky ( I cant remember the exact age - anyone know?- but isnt something like 30 when it starts to go down hill?). Of course they could have children outside the marriage - but that is another topic!

Personally I feel at 21 I am too young to get married, I havent finished with my education yet!

 

[Quoth The Raven]

I suppose I could say the same to you. I agreed that they were immature, after all, but I then posited that this is not a reason they should not get married, because there are fall backs for immaturity. You then retorted with the idea that not many people live at home, but I still wonder why this is any reason that teens should not marry. This is the question I am on. You can answer it or not. I really don't care.

I've known several people who married young and lived at home or with a grandparent for a couple of years while saving to buy a house and move out. As soon as they had to live with each other without the buffer of additional people around, Nan or mum doing the washing and the cooking - so basically as soon as they were required to actually be a self sufficient married couple in their own home - the whole thing seemed to go belly up.
There are 'fall backs' for immaturity, but they don't necessarily make you any more mature or prepared when it comes to crunch time. In fact - from my (obviously limited) observations - they can actually work against you in the long run.

 

[Elessar]

Age has absolutely nothing to do with it, in my mind. Marriage has everything to do with maturity - are the people wanting to get married ready to be responsible, not only for themselves, but for their spouse? Are they willing to make the sacrifices and the commitments necessary to be married? In the vast majority of cases, teenagers in western societies are not ready to make these commitments. If they are, then great, they should get married. Why wait? But if they're not, then they shouldn't. This has nothing to do with age - I know people in their late twenties and early thirties who really aren't ready, if they ever will be, for marriage. Then, I've known teenagers who were perfectly ready for marriage. It, really, has absolutely nothing to do with age.

I'm 18, and I honestly don't know if I'm ready; it's hard to judge oneself. I would say that most people my age aren't ready, and I'm probably not, but I don't know.

This is, however, unrelated to another point asked - living outside the home. Honestly, to me, getting married doesn't mean leaving your parents' - I come from a family, on my father's side, where living with your parents after marriage is simply an economic boon - my parents lived with my grandparents for five years, from when they returned from out of city because my mother's work until they bought the house I currently live in, a good few years after my birth, in order to afford things like put together money for a down payment, pay back student loans, etc - and my parents were not exactly young - they married at 30 and 29.

 

[blackout]

Why in gOd's name would they even WANT TO?!?

 

[DallasApple]

The only problem women have of waiting til they are 30 or more to marry, is if they want children - it becomes more risky ( I cant remember the exact age - anyone know?- but isnt something like 30 when it starts to go down hill?).

Its 35..when there are many more risk to the mother and the child..Including an increased risk in having a child with downs syndrome..Every year after 35 its riskier and riskier..

Anyway..on the OP statistcally the younger you are when you marry..the greater risk the your marriage wont last...

Love

Dallas

 

[DallasApple]

Also if you marry as a teen ...the odds are you havent known each other very long.(I know there are exceptions)..and I think you should court for about 2 years before marrying.

Also..I think there is something to be said for having a chance to be independent..IOW ..once you fly the nest...make it on your own..I think that builds character and self confidence..

Love

Dallas

 

[Elessar]

Why in gOd's name would they even WANT TO?!?

Primarily, those of us who plan to remain abstinent until marriage due to religious beliefs. Or, being cynical, those who wish to pretend for their family or community that they are remaining abstinent until marriage and it gets difficult to hide.

 

[DallasApple]

Primarily, those of us who plan to remain abstinent until marriage due to religious beliefs. Or, being cynical, those who wish to pretend for their family or community that they are remaining abstinent until marriage and it gets difficult to hide.

And that is part of the reason why religious people have a higher divorce rate than athiest...they tend to marry younger..because they are tired of abstaining..or to be cynical..tired of having to stay in the closet about the fact they arent..

Love

Dallas