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Shut Up a Proselytizer in Two Minutes
- Thread starter Heyo
- Start date
Daemon Sophic
Avatar in flux
The best story I heard was from my home state of Alaska. A fellow was butchering the moose that he’d bagged, out in his garage. When the evangelists knocked, he answered the door wearing the blood-soaked apron and holding the blood-soaked machete.
Him: “Yeah?”
Evangelists: (nervously) “Oh! So sorry! We’ll try….uh…another time. Have a nice day!”
Him: “Yeah?”
Evangelists: (nervously) “Oh! So sorry! We’ll try….uh…another time. Have a nice day!”
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How about "I am not interested, please go away."
I start asking questions or challenge them to support what they say...
"Tell me why you feel that way."
"Interesting. Why do you interpret that scripture in that way?"
"What do you have to support this notion?"
It either leads to an interesting discussion or they tire quickly and walk away.
"Tell me why you feel that way."
"Interesting. Why do you interpret that scripture in that way?"
"What do you have to support this notion?"
It either leads to an interesting discussion or they tire quickly and walk away.
Heyo
Veteran Member
When I have the time and feel especially sadistic, I do that also.
This is only for when you don't have the time, can't escape and have to shut them up fast.
Simple. I told them, that in case his God exists, and there is a Heaven and Hell, and all that standard theology, then I would vastly prefer to go to Hell, then to Heaven. And for good reasons. And that for what concerns my case, Jesus could have spared Himself all that melodrama. By doing that you disable any argument they might have to bring you to Jesus.
i would also suggest to ask them what is an unpardonable sin, so that the discussion becomes pointless Immediately by securing my damnation without recourse. Usually, unpardonable sins involve mocking imaginary beings. So, it is peanuts to do it, even while fishing.
in my case, that is not even a lie.
ciao
- viole
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Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
The issue is those who don't take no for an answer. And I used to have fun with those sorts, and it would frequently include "non-pastor approved" Bible lessons to rock and shake faith because yes, your Bible really does say something that dumb and hateful.
But that was in Indiana. Here they've all accepted no and left it at that. It was actually a bit of a culture shock the first time.
My favourite is a story from my uncle: it was a Sunday and he was working on his car in his driveway. Two missionaries came by, chirped him a bit for "working on the Sabbath" and asked him if he had read the Bible.
He said "well, I saw the movie."
The missionaries went off in a huff.
In my own personal experience, my first option is to avoid the proselytizers. JWs will set up on street corners and in parks here. I just try to avoid eye contact.
When they engage with me and I can't leave (e.g. when I was on a transit bus and Mormon missionaries went down the aisle bothering each passenger in turn), I've found that angrily saying "what you're doing is wrong" tends to end the conversation quickly.
Alien826
No religious beliefs
This is a second hand report from friend of a friend. I don't recommend using it, but it is amusing.
He said he would agree with whatever they said, but pepper his conversation with loads of "cuss" words. The cognitive dissonance would apparently blow their minds and they would quickly leave. It went something like this. "Oh yes, I f*****g love God. I think God is f*****g wonderful ....".
He said he would agree with whatever they said, but pepper his conversation with loads of "cuss" words. The cognitive dissonance would apparently blow their minds and they would quickly leave. It went something like this. "Oh yes, I f*****g love God. I think God is f*****g wonderful ....".
I have done that, if they seem nice, and I have time.
Other times I just go with a firm but polite 'I'm not interested, have a nice day.'
I've thought about picking some random heretical version of Christianity, possibly from the old days, and going hard with that. So I could agree with a bunch of things they say, but then make left-field pronouncements about the nature of God that confuse them. Maybe invite them in for a sin-eating ceremony, or ask them if they'd like to come sit atop my stylite pole for a few days/weeks.
Never been brave enough..lol
Jimmy
King Phenomenon
I’m not interested but thank you anyway. Say it again and again. After 3 times say why do you Keep persisting when I have told you nicely that I’m not interested. If they ask again look at them and say I’m asking you nicely if you can please leave me alone now thank you. If they ask again just look at them and say dude really? If they ask again look at them and say what are you doing man? That usually works. If they ask again sometimes if you look at them and ask if they are dense that might get them to leave. People like that are foolish and have no respect. Hopefully one day they’ll understand How to do a job properly
Gargovic Malkav
Well-Known Member
Since the Bible is a book of importance to me but basically put my own spin on it, that's kinda what I did, though not with the intent to confuse but just to exchange views.
I rarely get approached by proselytizers, but I've had two encounters with Jehovah's Witnesses.
The first time I remember them getting anxious or annoyed by me, they kept smiling and speaking with a honeyed voice (well, one of them did, the other became more visibly annoyed and at one point got into my face with Bible quotes about God's judgment), but I noticed a passive aggressive undertone.
When I went out to walk the dog later I ran into them again and greeted them, but they just ignored me and literally looked the other way.
My second encounter was more pleasant, I felt we've had a deep discussion about God, which was refreshing to me as I rarely got to talk about such things with another believer without hard feelings, even though I made it clear from the beginning I wasn't interested in joining them.
Heyo
Veteran Member
Never been eager enough.
I'm just too lazy to get deep enough into any religion so that I could argue from that position. Maybe, if I have too much time on my hands and nothing productive to do, I'll dive into Pastafarianism.
I'm usually fairly open to seeing where they are at, find some common ground, and gently challenging them to maybe think outside of the rote boxes of thinking about these things that they have been exposed to. I show them kindness, and that's usually better than just saying not interested or being rude, claiming to worship Satan or some absurdity. I hear what they say, then share my views to expose them to other ways of seeing things, while respecting their views. They typically leave feeling really good, even though it was a nosale to me. It helps that I typically know more than 50 times as much as they do about their own beliefs though.
I find it more interesting to talk to them these days as I'm studying Theology at Canterbury, the seat of English Christianity, so there's lots of such activity. I think it makes sense culturally to expect to see such people there and now because of my studies I'm interested even just academically in their views. I was given a chick tract a few weeks ago, it was horrible