Shut Up a Proselytizer in Two Minutes

[Elihoenai]

You: "So you're a Christian, huh"?

Street Corner Evangelist: "Yes sir Jesus is my Lord and Savior"!

You: "I see, so I guess that means you love Satan"?

SCE: "What??? Of course not!! Satan's the enemy!!!"

You: "Yeah but, didn't Jesus tell you you're supposed to love your enemies"?

SCE: "What? Eh , I, er . . . You have a nice day sir"!
(For anyone who doesn't know, thats street corner of evangelist for "I hope you rot in hell").

Job 19:26

26 And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:


That might Shut Up most of the Ignorant 2.2 Billion Christian in Christendom.

Christians don't know that Satan/Devil is Elohim/God in its Lowest Form. If this were Not so than the Elohim/God that Christians believe in is Not Omni. Yet Christians Assert that the Elohim/God they believe in is Omni.

Therefore, Loving Devil/Satan, is Actually Loving Elohim/God in its Lowest Form. The 2.2 Billion Earthly Christians in Christendom are Loving Elohim/God (Satan/Devil) in its Lowest Form. The Word Love means Cherish.

I Am Christian Gnostic.

 

[Rival]

I've thought about picking some random heretical version of Christianity, possibly from the old days, and going hard with that. So I could agree with a bunch of things they say, but then make left-field pronouncements about the nature of God that confuse them. Maybe invite them in for a sin-eating ceremony, or ask them if they'd like to come sit atop my stylite pole for a few days/weeks.

Never been brave enough..lol

Maybe next time I'll pretend to be an Arian or a Gnostic...

 

[exchemist]

I find it more interesting to talk to them these days as I'm studying Theology at Canterbury, the seat of English Christianity, so there's lots of such activity. I think it makes sense culturally to expect to see such people there and now because of my studies I'm interested even just academically in their views. I was given a chick tract a few weeks ago, it was horrible

What the hell's a chick tract? I've never heard of such a thing.

By the way, our assistant priest, Fr. Giovanni, is leaving us to join the parish church of St. Thomas at.....Canterbury, in August. He's a very nice man, always cheerful and theologically thoughtful. I'll miss him.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I was given a chick tract a few weeks ago, it was horrible

Es tut mir leid.
How'd you get those there, anyways? Aren't those more of an American thing?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

What the he

They are short comic strips of a very conservative, American Evangelical bend, and they HEAVILY and MASSIVELY depend on emphasising a fear of Hell to preach and get converts.

 

[Rival]

What the hell's a chick tract? I've never heard of such a thing.

By the way, our assistant priest, Fr. Giovanni, is leaving us to join the parish church of St. Thomas at.....Canterbury, in August. He's a very nice man, always cheerful and theologically thoughtful. I'll miss him.

That's my local parish.

Chick tracts are horrible cartoons which threaten you with hell for anything to try to make you convert. They're like brimstone sermons on paper.

Chick tract - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Es tut mir leid.
How'd you get those there, anyways? Aren't those more of an American thing?

I've no clue, I was very surprised. I noticed he only used KJV too.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I've not clue, I was very surprised. I noticed he only used KJV too.

Yeah, the groups that use them, I don't even know exactly why (I think I recall having more trust in that translation) but they tend kling to the KJV.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

@Rival @exchemist
Here's my favorite Chick Tract. There's even a cheesy good movie that stays very close to the source material. Heres a snippet

Chick.com: Dark Dungeons

Debbie thought playing Dungeons and Dragons was fun...until it destroyed her friend.

www.chick.com

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Maybe next time I'll pretend to be an Arian or a Gnostic...

I suspect there are plenty of Catholics unwittingly espousing Arian theology at times...might be too subtle.

Instead, try asking well-dressed door-knockers to come in, sit down on the couch, have a cool drink of water. Ask them if they're comfortable...and if they answer yes, launch into a surprise tirade, flashing your own cilice undergarments and berating them for not committing to asceticism.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

What the hell's a chick tract? I've never heard of such a thing.

You're lucky. They're what happens if you collect all the bile you possess, and strain it through a fire and brimstone worldview.
Some people find them unintentionally amusing, and I'm all for dark humour, but they're the first comic strips I've seen that don't even reach two-dimensional. They're like...half a dimension.

 

[Rival]

I suspect there are plenty of Catholics unwittingly espousing Arian theology at times...might be too subtle.

Instead, try asking well-dressed door-knockers to come in, sit down on the couch, have a cool drink of water. Ask them if they're comfortable...and if they answer yes, launch into a surprise tirade, flashing your own cilice undergarments and berating them for not committing to asceticism.

We don't get door knockers really, just street preachers.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I'm usually fairly open to seeing where they are at, find some common ground, and gently challenging them to maybe think outside of the rote boxes of thinking about these things that they have been exposed to. I show them kindness, and that's usually better than just saying not interested or being rude, claiming to worship Satan or some absurdity. I hear what they say, then share my views to expose them to other ways of seeing things, while respecting their views. They typically leave feeling really good, even though it was a nosale to me. It helps that I typically know more than 50 times as much as they do about their own beliefs though.

It might be nice if I could do that, but I don't think I have it in me.

I've found that I find proselytizing so offensive that I just can't disguise the anger in my voice. I can't manage the tone for a reasonable conversation.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

@Rival @exchemist
Here's my favorite Chick Tract. There's even a cheesy good movie that stays very close to the source material. Heres a snippet

Chick.com: Dark Dungeons

Debbie thought playing Dungeons and Dragons was fun...until it destroyed her friend.

www.chick.com

I can just imagine my church leader (who actually was a legit pedophile) trying to convince me (an atheist) to give up playing D&D because it might make me believe I could worship the devil and have occult powers.
*sighs*

But then, good old Jack has a comic on that topic too...a perfect example of what I can't quite see as funny, even through a warped lens.
(Link below)

Outdated Address (Lisa Dissection) - Boolean Union

 

[lewisnotmiller]

We don't get door knockers really, just street preachers.

We don't much either these days. Last one I can clearly remember was 2008 or 2010.
(I remember the Celtics were in the NBA finals, hence I know it was one of those two years...lol)

Those guys were super nice and respectful.

 

[exchemist]

@Rival @exchemist
Here's my favorite Chick Tract. There's even a cheesy good movie that stays very close to the source material. Heres a snippet

Chick.com: Dark Dungeons

Debbie thought playing Dungeons and Dragons was fun...until it destroyed her friend.

www.chick.com

Pass the sick bag, Alice.

That's my local parish.

Chick tracts are horrible cartoons which threaten you with hell for anything to try to make you convert. They're like brimstone sermons on paper.

Chick tract - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

View attachment 78694​

I've no clue, I was very surprised. I noticed he only used KJV too.

Yes, Burgate. If it's your parish you may meet him then. Slim, young chap, excellent English. In summer wears a white jacket with dark trousers and fashionable sunglasses. I bumped into him outside Superdrug this morning, as it happens. He says he models himself on St Augustine of Canterbury, sent from Italy to preach Christianity to the English.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

My shortest and most successful reply was to two guys knocking at my door with the opening "We want to talk with you about god.".
I looked at them and said, with the most menacing voice I can muster: "Trust me, you don't."

I was surprised how well that worked.

I once handed a street-corner preacher my card and told him, "If your god has something to say to me, tell him to call me direct. Bye."

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I once handed a street-corner preacher my card and told him, "If your god has something to say to me, tell him to call me direct. Bye."

Yikes. I'm not sure I'd ever want a proselytizer to have my personal info.

I mean, if they're proselytizing door-to-door, then they know my address, but I don't want them knowing any more about me than absolutely necessary.

If someone thinks it's reasonable to proselytize on a street corner, then I'm not going to put it last them to also think that it's reasonable for them to proselytize one-on-one by breaking into my house.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Yikes. I'm not sure I'd ever want a proselytizer to have my personal info.

I mean, if they're proselytizing door-to-door, then they know my address, but I don't want them knowing any more about me than absolutely necessary.

If someone thinks it's reasonable to proselytize on a street corner, then I'm not going to put it last them to also think that it's reasonable for them to proselytize one-on-one by breaking into my house.

Business card. They couldn't get into my building without a pass.

 

[Heyo]

We don't get door knockers really, just street preachers.

You need contacts with LEDs in them and make-up that's only visible in UV light and a UV light torch for those.
Practice until your confident then:

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Business card. They couldn't get into my building without a pass.

Well, that's good... though I wouldn't want proselytizers showing up where I work, either.