Sick of hearing this!

[DallasApple]

Someone said here recently and I swear I'm not "tuned in " who it was but I'm sick of it because I have heard it before so it doesn't even matter who said it.

AGAIN...that we shouldn't give "power" to words /things people say of us.It only gives them the power over us and makes us weak.(weakens us).

I mean really?We are humans not robots.Would you say do not let positive words "lift you up"?

YES I understand balance.And I don't get to call the shots.But pretending words to you should not affect you or you are weak ?Is omitting much of human "ability"/ nature...The power of words to lift somebody up is amazing and the power of words to bring them down is just as "notable" .Saying a person is "weak" because of that is shaming them for just being a human.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Pretty sick right!?
Since when is the victim worse then the perpetrator?
Anyway I've already said what I think about this.

 

[DallasApple]

Pretty sick right!?
Since when is the victim worse then the perpetrator?
Anyway I've already said what I think about this.

I'm not just talking about about speech in the negative by perpetrators.I mean just in general not letting anything anyone ever says "affect" you or you are "giving" them "power"/

I don't get it.I could not be fully human if I shut down and not let any words affect me.I guess I don't have a good enough filter to only 'hear" the good ones.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I'm not just talking about about speech in the negative by perpetrators.I mean just in general not letting anything anyone ever says "affect" you or you are "giving" them "power"/

I don't get it.I could not be fully human if I shut down and not let any words affect me.I guess I don't have a good enough filter to only 'hear" the good ones.

I hear you and agree. It's the dumbest ****e I have ever heard to be honest.

 

[Quintessence]

AGAIN...that we shouldn't give "power" to words /things people say of us.It only gives them the power over us and makes us weak.(weakens us).

In my experience, such words are spoken by those who generally fail to understand that words/symbols have power - and that this power is always bidirectional. The word has power over the listener and the speaker. If words did not have power, there would be absolutely no point to uttering them. The point of words is to communicate. Communication and interactions of any kind have power; that is to say, they are causes with effects and influence. Anybody who thinks otherwise needs to do some more thinking.

That said, one does have some degree of "control" over the impact of a situation on one's psyche, whether it be words or events.

 

[DallasApple]

That said, one does have some degree of "control" over the impact of a situation on one's psyche, whether it be words or events.

I agree .But saying words ONLY have power if you let them? Well if we DIDN'T let them then what is the point of having the skill of verbal communication?

The fact words have power is a gift.Its a power a speaker has and it a power to allow them to affect you.It makes us human beings.

What is the alternative? We should meow or growl ? Maybe bark ?Squeal?Oh that right animals (all of them) should not let verbal communication affect them.It only gives power to the speaker.

 

[Badran]

I agree with what i think you're saying. I think that's generally drivel, personally. When someone pretends offense is only taken because people 'allow' for it to happen, for example.

Yet, i also recognize some validity in what might be the intentions of some when they say stuff like that. Personally, i try to not allow people's words to have any strong impact on me, except for when i want to allow it to. I don't always succeed, but i try.

The aim of that is just to reduce the effect of people's words on my actions and emotions, not eliminate it completely. The point is, i'll still put in mind what i think is the intention behind what was sent towards me (positive or negative) when i'm reacting, but i don't want my reaction to be fully or even mostly affected by what they said. I prefer to maintain my general balance and control on what to say and so forth, with some exceptions. As in, there'd be few cases when i'd want to allow for my emotions to flow without restraint of any kind, totally affected by what the other person said (or more accurately, just mostly affected).

But generally, and aside from those exceptions, when i'm emotionally loaded, i'm sometimes less capable of judging things properly, and less capable of interacting as i would like to, and other similar things. And i think that's the intention some people have when they say things along similar lines of what you're talking about in the OP (but not always of course, which is why i agree with your sentiment). It's good to keep in mind what people are intending to send towards you, but it's also good to try and not let it totally control your reaction. That said, since we're humans, we'll naturally sometimes fail.

 

[DallasApple]

It's good to keep in mind what people are intending to send towards you, but it's also good to try and not let it totally control your reaction. That said, since we're humans, we'll naturally sometimes fail.

Sometimes their intention is to hurt you and make you feel hated .Sometimes their intention is to make you "feel" loved .

Getting that intention right and it "affecting" you is not a "failure" in my opinion.

 

[apophenia]

I agree .But saying words ONLY have power if you let them? Well if we DIDN'T let them then what is the point of having the skill of verbal communication?

The fact words have power is a gift.Its a power a speaker has and it a power to allow them to affect you.It makes us human beings.

What is the alternative? We should meow or growl ? Maybe bark ?Squeal?Oh that right animals (all of them) should not let verbal communication affect them.It only gives power to the speaker.

I also agree with you.

Those who are saying otherwise are probably just ***** off because they are human, and are affected. Also because they want to be let off the hook when they are *** holes who have hurt someone.

Sometimes I wish it weren't true, not just because I am affected, but because I affect others, and that is a responsibility.

It is such a bad feeling realising that you have actually hurt someone because you let out hurtful words. You can't take them back.

I am guilty of it of course. Is there anyone who isn't ? I wonder.

 

[DallasApple]

I am guilty of it of course. Is there anyone who isn't ? I wonder.

I doubt there is.I CRINGE at the **** I have said.I mean intentionally that I know had to hurt others.So what I SAY to others affects me too.Because I have feelings myself.

 

[DallasApple]

Oh and please don't get me wrong.I don't get enormous "affect" off of anything anyone ever says...I'm just saying to flippantly say that you should just not "allow" what others say to affect you is a sad way to live.Because for me? I would have to go numb and have a "wall" up....I cant "just" let in nice things.If I let no one else's words "affect" me I wouldn't even be able to laugh .And besides that..it all sinks in anyway.I don't feel like being stoic while brewing internal ulcers.

 

[Badran]

Sometimes their intention is to hurt you and make you feel hated .Sometimes their intention is to make you "feel" loved .

Getting that intention right and it "affecting" you is not a "failure" in my opinion.

I know, i didn't say that letting it affect you is failure. I said letting it totally control you can be a problem, and thus being able to reduce that effect is beneficial. Not eliminating it, just reducing it.

If and when one can not control themselves like that, and they actually wanted to, then they've failed in doing what they want.

 

[DallasApple]

I know, i didn't say that letting it affect you is failure. I said letting it totally control you can be a problem, and thus being able to reduce that effect is beneficial. Not eliminating it, just reducing it.

If and when one can not control themselves like that, and they actually wanted to, then they've failed in doing what they want.

I understand.

 

[Reverend Rick]

Be true to yourself and don't worry about stupid things others say to you. Most times if they where truthful, they just want to control you.

 

[apophenia]

I doubt there is.I CRINGE at the **** I have said.I mean intentionally that I know had to hurt others.So what I SAY to others affects me too.Because I have feelings myself.

I see you are a christian. I think you just described the cross we have to bear. I don't identify as christian, but for what it's worth, I think what you are talking about is central to what Jesus was addressing. How we treat one another makes life heavenly or hellish, and there is no way of not being part of that. Avoidance and dissociation and developing a sociopathic indifference are varieties of hell.

 

[DallasApple]

I see you are a christian. I think you just described the cross we have to bear. I don't identify as christian, but for what it's worth, I think what you are talking about is central to what Jesus was addressing. How we treat one another makes life heavenly or hellish, and there is no way of not being part of that. Avoidance and dissociation and developing a sociopathic indifference are varieties of hell.

Proverbs 18:21 ESV

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.


Proverbs 12:18 ESV

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.


Matthew 12:36 ESV

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak


Proverbs 16:24 ESV

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 15:4 ESV

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

 

[Kerr]

Someone said here recently and I swear I'm not "tuned in " who it was but I'm sick of it because I have heard it before so it doesn't even matter who said it.

AGAIN...that we shouldn't give "power" to words /things people say of us.It only gives them the power over us and makes us weak.(weakens us).

I mean really?We are humans not robots.Would you say do not let positive words "lift you up"?

YES I understand balance.And I don't get to call the shots.But pretending words to you should not affect you or you are weak ?Is omitting much of human "ability"/ nature...The power of words to lift somebody up is amazing and the power of words to bring them down is just as "notable" .Saying a person is "weak" because of that is shaming them for just being a human.

There is some validity to the saying, but its also rather unrealistic to say that words have no power. If someone can have such a disconnected relationship to words, great for them. Most of us cant. We can try, it is wise to do so, but its not always we succeed and thats ok.

 

[DallasApple]

If someone can have such a disconnected relationship to words, great for them.

I disagree.With all do respect.

I don't understand I guess how that is "great"?

If your wife tells you she loves you and loves you deeply always has and always will.. How is it "great" that you can disconnect from that and not allow it to "affect " you "

Its only the weak and the failures that would "allow that' to affect them??/

 

[Me Myself]

Words do only have power over us as we let them affect us. I am including myself in it.

Context shall say what each scenario means, but in general the idea is that if you hear one wod and flip out, you might want to take care of that.

This does not mean it was your "fault" to be so negatively charged by such a word, but it is you responsibility.

I know areas of myself or words or things that could cause me to become extremely angry, and playing fault trip is destructive, not contructive. But acknowledging weakness and transforming it into strength is a responsibility with this things.

For some people it may be easier thn others, but I am sure most people have their challenges with the words that emotionally charge them.

 

[Me Myself]

I disagree.With all do respect.

I don't understand I guess how that is "great"?

If your wife tells you she loves you and loves you deeply always has and always will.. How is it "great" that you can disconnect from that and not allow it to "affect " you "

Its only the weak and the failures that would "allow that' to affect them??/

Here youa re confusing can and must.

It is good that we are able to be deatachd to words the same way it is good that we are able to let ouselves be influenced by them. The important thing here is that whatever happens we will be responsible for our own emotional states and our reactions.

Different circumstancs of context may place some responsibility on the others around us, but the part without question shall always be that we are responsibel for our emotions and actions, unless at least we are under scapolamine or some ther similar substance that was put in our system against our knowledge/will.