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So...I've officially started testosterone therapy!

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Could I ask you, when did you feel that you were a boy, at what age ?.

I don't know the exact age. As far back as I can remember, I've always visualized myself as a male. My internal sense of self was never female. I remember one time during the early '90s (I'm only 24, mind you), I cut myself while trying to shave my face like my dad. Lol. I didn't understand it or know what it was until I learned about transsexualism in my mid to late teens. Then it all made sense. I just thought I was a freak and kept it to myself. I was even in therapy throughout much of my teens but I never brought it up because I thought I'd be judged over it.
 

dawny0826

Mother Heathen
I'm really glad that things are coming along well for you. Made me smile to read that you were called "Sir"for the first time. I'm sure that these victories feel great.

I'm curious if you're doing more to document your journey?

I've followed several transitions and it was really awesome to be a part of such journey to find people kind of come to themselves. Not to insinuate that you should feel obligated to share such private aspects of your life with others, but, are you documenting, blogging, vlogging or photographing your own journey for your own reflection?
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
I'm really glad that things are coming along well for you. Made me smile to read that you were called "Sir"for the first time. I'm sure that these victories feel great.

I'm curious if you're doing more to document your journey?

I've followed several transitions and it was really awesome to be a part of such journey to find people kind of come to themselves. Not to insinuate that you should feel obligated to share such private aspects of your life with others, but, are you documenting, blogging, vlogging or photographing your own journey for your own reflection?

Thanks. :) I considered doing such a thing but I decided that I didn't want to. To be honest, it's not really all that exciting, imo, at least when you're the one who is going through it. The most exciting thing is the voice change. Plus, I am self-conscious and don't like making videos and things like that. :eek: Then there's also the privacy issue.

I just want to get through it, really.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
I don't know the exact age. As far back as I can remember, I've always visualized myself as a male. My internal sense of self was never female. I remember one time during the early '90s (I'm only 24, mind you), I cut myself while trying to shave my face like my dad. Lol. I didn't understand it or know what it was until I learned about transsexualism in my mid to late teens. Then it all made sense. I just thought I was a freak and kept it to myself. I was even in therapy throughout much of my teens but I never brought it up because I thought I'd be judged over it.

I see, very interesting, did your mum treat you like a boy in any way, my mum treated my like a girl, and as I was growing up I felt I was a girl. I remember I use to set on the floor watching TV and taking interest in the dresses woman were wearing, I would imagine myself in the dress.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
I see, very interesting, did your mum treat you like a boy in any way, my mum treated my like a girl, and as I was growing up I felt I was a girl. I remember I use to set on the floor watching TV and taking interest in the dresses woman were wearing, I would imagine myself in the dress.

No, I wasn't treated like a boy growing up. My mom had my ears pierced as a baby like girls do, dressed me in dresses (until I got older and rejected it), bought me dolls, etc. My mom also bought me action figures, toy cars and such because I wanted them. My mom was open-minded and let me develop my own interests. As I got older, I became more and more like a tomboy and hung out with boys. I preferred playing basketball, soccer, skateboarding, bike riding, rollerblading, playing video games and playing with cars with my male cousin in the dirt in the backyard as a kid rather than playing with dolls with my female cousins. I would even pretend to be a boy and made up a male name while playing with one of my female cousins. But I also loved writing and reading from a very young age.

Sounds like there was some abuse going on in your home.
 
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psychoslice

Veteran Member
No, I wasn't treated like a boy growing up. My mom had my ears pierced as a baby like girls do, dressed me in dresses (until I got older and rejected it), bought me dolls, etc. My mom also bought me action figures, toy cars and such because I wanted them. My mom was open-minded and let me develop my own interests. As I got older, I became more and more like a tomboy and hung out with boys. I preferred playing basketball, soccer, skateboarding, bike riding, rollerblading, playing video games and playing with cars with my male cousin in the dirt in the backyard as a kid rather than playing with dolls with my female cousins. I would even pretend to be a boy and made up a male name while playing with one of my female cousins. But I also loved writing and reading from a very young age.

Sounds like there was some abuse going on in your home.

Gee that's great that you have a mother like that, my mum as I said treated me like a girl, but my dad didn't like it, so I grew up confused, no wonder I have schizophrenia lol. So my life was like yours but the other way around, I played dolls with my sister and never liked rough sports. The odd thing that happen when I was a young man, is that I had a relationship with a young man who wanted to be a girl, she was an aboriginal and was very pretty, I use to call her my little native girl. These days I am so confused about my sexuality that I gave the whole thing up, I am happy just living by myself.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Gee that's great that you have a mother like that, my mum as I said treated me like a girl, but my dad didn't like it, so I grew up confused, no wonder I have schizophrenia lol. So my life was like yours but the other way around, I played dolls with my sister and never liked rough sports. The odd thing that happen when I was a young man, is that I had a relationship with a young man who wanted to be a girl, she was an aboriginal and was very pretty, I use to call her my little native girl. These days I am so confused about my sexuality that I gave the whole thing up, I am happy just living by myself.

Why did your mom treat you like a girl, though? Is that how you wanted to be treated?

I'm sorry you're confused. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual or liking trans women.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
Why did your mom treat you like a girl, though? Is that how you wanted to be treated?

I'm sorry you're confused. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual or liking trans women.

I was the second born, my brother was born first, and they were hoping for a girl on the second birth, well at least my mum did, and that is how I think it started. Dad and mum encouraged my two brothers to play sports, but not me, I wasn't even allowed to mow the grass. These days I do feel more like a man, but I cannot have sexual relationships, I was raped at a gay party I went to when young, and when I am with a girl it feels dirty to have sex, even though I have had sex with women, I think it sort of feels like women represents my mother ?. A psychoanalyst would have a field day with my on the couch lol.....but I glad your doing what you want to do, and I hope you are happy doing so.:)
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
I was the second born, my brother was born first, and they were hoping for a girl on the second birth, well at least my mum did, and that is how I think it started. Dad and mum encouraged my two brothers to play sports, but not me, I wasn't even allowed to mow the grass. These days I do feel more like a man, but I cannot have sexual relationships, I was raped at a gay party I went to when young, and when I am with a girl it feels dirty to have sex, even though I have had sex with women, I think it sort of feels like women represents my mother ?. A psychoanalyst would have a field day with my on the couch lol.....but I glad your doing what you want to do, and I hope you are happy doing so.:)

That's terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you. Have you ever talked to a therapist about it? If not, I really think you should.

I know of similar stories. There's a guy named Walt Heyer who is a part of the whole "ex-transsexual" movement (pretty much the same as "ex-gay" but about trans people). He was abused by his grandmother, who would treat him like a girl and make him wear girl's clothing. He was also beaten by his parents as a kid and molested by his uncle. He even ended up transitioning and had sex reassignment surgery (SRS). Well, he ended up going back to living as a man and uses his experience to generalize the entire trans community.

It's a very sad story. He was never a transsexual and has mental health issues unrelated to gender identity disorder. He was abused as a child and this led to his identity issues. But that is not the experience of most transsexuals or the cause of transsexualism.

So, if you haven't gotten therapy for that, I recommend you do.

Thanks, by the way. I'm lucky to have such a supportive mom. :)
 
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Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
Ernest Hemingway's mother treated him like a girl when he was young. It's rather a strange tale, and may explain the hyper masculine image he developed. My mom wanted a girl, and it turns out she did, she doesn't know it yet.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Ernest Hemingway's mother treated him like a girl when he was young. It's rather a strange tale, and may explain the hyper masculine image he developed. My mom wanted a girl, and it turns out she did, she doesn't know it yet.

My mom visualized having a girl around the time I came into this world. She mourned the loss of me as her daughter but accepts me as her son. But it's okay because she does have a daughter - my oldest sister.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
Yes I did receive a lot of help for about 5 years, mainly talking to a psychologist, just talking through my life and trying to deal with it in the here and now, this has helped me a lot, but still I do not want another relationship with anyone. I have friends of both sex but that is where they will always stay, friends. Yes thanks for the advice, it means a lot coming from you, where as most people don't understand. x
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
Ernest Hemingway's mother treated him like a girl when he was young. It's rather a strange tale, and may explain the hyper masculine image he developed. My mom wanted a girl, and it turns out she did, she doesn't know it yet.

Is it rude for me to mentally slap ALL parents who want a boy or a girl, beyond minor preference?
Unless they're living in some backwater where they need strong boys to hunt food, or some such.
I just don't get it. I have two girls, and people say to me all the time 'So...shame you didn't get one of each...'

:no:
It's not. I got two beautiful kids who are healthy. I don't believe in God, but speaking loosely, why would I see that as anything less than an amazing blessing?
Bizarre to me. If I got 2 boys I would have been just as happy. Straight, gay, or somewhere between, just whatever. Heck, they can even be theists if they want.
(Long as they follow my football team...there has to be a line somewhere)

Sometimes people don't see the good right in front of their noses, is the only way I can explain it.

[/rant]
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Yes I did receive a lot of help for about 5 years, mainly talking to a psychologist, just talking through my life and trying to deal with it in the here and now, this has helped me a lot, but still I do not want another relationship with anyone. I have friends of both sex but that is where they will always stay, friends. Yes thanks for the advice, it means a lot coming from you, where as most people don't understand. x

That's good. I'm glad you got help. You don't have to have a sexual relationship if you don't want to. Nothing wrong with being celibate.

No problem. :hug: :)
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Is it rude for me to mentally slap ALL parents who want a boy or a girl, beyond minor preference?
Unless they're living in some backwater where they need strong boys to hunt food, or some such.
I just don't get it. I have two girls, and people say to me all the time 'So...shame you didn't get one of each...'

:no:
It's not. I got two beautiful kids who are healthy. I don't believe in God, but speaking loosely, why would I see that as anything less than an amazing blessing?
Bizarre to me. If I got 2 boys I would have been just as happy. Straight, gay, or somewhere between, just whatever. Heck, they can even be theists if they want.
(Long as they follow my football team...there has to be a line somewhere)

Sometimes people don't see the good right in front of their noses, is the only way I can explain it.

[/rant]

I can understand wanting a balance of boys and girl, for example, but you're right - the most important thing is that the child(ren) are healthy and happy. :) That is surely a blessing. I'll have to frubal this when I can.
 

lewisnotmiller

Grand Hat
Staff member
Premium Member
I can understand wanting a balance of boys and girl, for example, but you're right - the most important thing is that the child(ren) are healthy and happy. :) That is surely a blessing. I'll have to frubal this when I can.

Yeah...I might not have worded myself too clearly...lol

That's what I meant by minor preference. Like they might want to experience what it's like to raise a boy, and to raise a girl, everything else being equal. I think that's pretty common, and not harmful.

As soon as minor preference prejudices behaviour...POW!!...mental slap.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Yeah...I might not have worded myself too clearly...lol

That's what I meant by minor preference. Like they might want to experience what it's like to raise a boy, and to raise a girl, everything else being equal. I think that's pretty common, and not harmful.

As soon as minor preference prejudices behaviour...POW!!...mental slap.

I agree with you. I do would like a boy and a girl because I like that balance and want my future kids to have a brother/sister. But in the long run, that's not what really matters. However, I could get my way since I have the option of going the sperm donor route and/or adoption. :p
 
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