So, this just happened.

[Alceste]

My husband made a comment on Reddit that was mildly supportive of feminism. A few days later he noticed he had a PM.

It was a torrent of angry abuse from some random guy.

He sent a non-abusive reply, then got another message saying "Oh, after checking your message history, I see that you're a guy. Sorry."

What. The. ****.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

My husband made a comment on Reddit that was mildly supportive of feminism. A few days later he noticed he had a PM.

It was a torrent of angry abuse from some random guy.

He sent a non-abusive reply, then got another message saying "Oh, after checking your message history, I see that you're a guy. Sorry."

What. The. ****.

Yep. Sadly, not surprised at all.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

That's what feminist women have to go through everyday on Reddit. It takes a very thick skin to put up with all the **** in there. MRA misogynist are a very strong and vocal presence there. But there are pockets of resistance fighting the good fight!

 

[Alceste]

Yep. Sadly, not surprised at all.

I'm only surprised by the honesty of it. This guy basically came right out and said he had wanted to verbally abuse a random woman, specifically, and felt sorry for inadvertently directing that abuse at a random man.

Not only that, he assumed my husband, being male, would understand, accept, and forgive the transgression - chalk it up to an honest mistake or something.

That's what feminist women have to go through everyday on Reddit. It takes a very thick skin to put up with all the **** in there. MRA misogynist are a very strong and vocal presence there. But there are pockets of resistance fighting the good fight!

Yeah, it's a real shame. I like reddit, but seeing how well misogynist / MRA / PUA threads, jokes, stories, etc. perform there is always a huge disappointment.

 

[Riverwolf]

Jeez, talk about not even trying to hide a sexist perspective.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

Jeez, talk about not even trying to hide a sexist perspective.

Here go check it out yourself:

The Red Pill

 

[Quintessence]

The problem is using Reddit. >_>;

 

[Sunstone]

My husband made a comment on Reddit that was mildly supportive of feminism. A few days later he noticed he had a PM.

It was a torrent of angry abuse from some random guy.

He sent a non-abusive reply, then got another message saying "Oh, after checking your message history, I see that you're a guy. Sorry."

What. The. ****.

My hunch is that "random guy" suffers from one or more psychological disorders.

 

[Alceste]

My hunch is that "random guy" suffers from one or more psychological disorders.

I guess, but it's pretty common for female feminists to be attacked like that on the internet, even to the point of good old-fashioned phone calls and hate mail. How much of that should I chalk up to mental illness and how much to the influence of rape culture on weak minded men?

 

[Sunstone]

I guess, but it's pretty common for female feminists to be attacked like that on the internet, even to the point of good old-fashioned phone calls and hate mail. How much of that should I chalk up to mental illness and how much to the influence of rape culture on weak minded men?

Why not both? A Surgeon General of the United States once reported that a quarter of adult Americans suffer from one form of mental illness or another. A full quarter!

 

[Alceste]

Why not both? A Surgeon General of the United States once reported that a quarter of adult Americans suffer from one form of mental illness or another. A full quarter!

That's an impressive statistic. But what specific form of mental illness causes male sufferers to be aggressive and abusive toward strangers on the internet, but only when they are women who express feminist opinions?

I mean, if this guy's attack was spawned by an involuntary psychological compulsion, it seems odd that he would feel remorse and apologize when he realized he was attacking another man instead of a woman.

 

[kashmir]

reddit is a cesspool of ignorance.
What is the point?

 

[Sunstone]

That's an impressive statistic. But what specific form of mental illness causes male sufferers to be aggressive and abusive toward strangers on the internet, but only when they are women who express feminist opinions?

I mean, if this guy's attack was spawned by an involuntary psychological compulsion, it seems odd that he would feel remorse and apologize when he realized he was attacking another man instead of a woman.

Actually, to me, the fact he apologized for it when he realized it was a man makes it all the more likely he was bat cave crazy. That's precisely the sort of irrationality I've learned is often enough associated with mental illnesses of one sort or another. But my experience isn't definitive, so maybe you're right.

 

[Alceste]

Actually, to me, the fact he apologized for it when he realized it was a man makes it all the more likely he was bat cave crazy. That's precisely the sort of irrationality I've learned is often enough associated with mental illnesses of one sort or another. But my experience isn't definitive, so maybe you're right.

If there is a mental illness that can cause misogynistic attacks on women as a symptom, I'd be interested to know more about it. I'm usually pretty good at spotting depression, schizophrenia, mania, psychosis, narcissism and a few other conditions based on post or message content. But gender-specific attacks by people who are capable of remorse for their behavior is not on my radar as a symptom of a specific condition to be looking for. Maybe it should be.

 

[Sunstone]

If there is a mental illness that can cause misogynistic attacks on women as a symptom, I'd be interested to know more about it. I'm usually pretty good at spotting depression, schizophrenia, mania, psychosis, narcissism and a few other conditions based on post or message content. But gender-specific attacks by people who are capable of remorse for their behavior is not on my radar as a symptom of a specific condition to be looking for. Maybe it should be.

I think it's more complex than that, Alceste. I would not think of looking for a mental illness with such a specific symptom. But mental illnesses are known to impair judgment and cause irrational behaviors. As a contributing factor to the behavior you describe in the OP, I find mental illness plausible, albeit unproven.

 

[Alceste]

I think it's more complex than that, Alceste. I would not think of looking for a mental illness with such a specific symptom. But mental illnesses are known to impair judgment and cause irrational behaviors. As a contributing factor to the behavior you describe in the OP, I find mental illness plausible, albeit unproven.

Fair enough. Generally boorish behavior and extreme awkwardness relating to members of the opposite sex often goes hand in hand with bipolar disorders.

I'm just mulling it over, really. I don't have enough information or expertise to diagnose anybody with anything. And it's always been hard for me to figure out where to draw the line between willful poor behavior and involuntary manifestations of mental illness. Heck, I still haven't figured out which version of my own bipolar dad is my "real" dad, or how much of his poor behavior I should hold him accountable for.

With my dad, I always took a capacity for remorse as a sign that he felt his behavior was responsive to his will. During his manic episodes, the capacity for remorse disappeared. Any expectation of thoughtful or responsible behavior was taken as a burden, a trap, an unfair imposition, and he mostly expressed hate toward my mother for his own terrible choices.

When he wasn't manic, he was still a socially awkward *** with strange ideas about women, but he was able to feel bad about it and apologize. So maybe that is this guy's story.

Just a-ramblin...

 

[dust1n]

Would it be possible to share the message?

 

[Alceste]

Would it be possible to share the message?

I'll ask. My hubby just told me about it. I don't know the specific content, except that he found it surprisingly abusive and random.

 

[Desert Snake]

What is the point?

No idea.

 

[Riverwolf]

Not all mental illnesses are sociopathy/psychopathy. Most of them do not inhibit emotions, and so remorse is still present.

Heck, in my case, I actually have heightened emotions. One time in high school, I felt so bad about saying something to a friend that had a small possibility of coming off as insulting, that I just about skipped 10 - 15 minutes of class waiting for him to come out from whatever he was doing so I could apologize and explain. (I won't tell the story here; just know that the comment was completely harmless and unoffensive.)

Heck, remorse could easily be part of the reason for some outbursts of anger to women (in particular) on the internet. Most men, from what I've seen, want an egalitarian culture as much as anyone else, and at least don't want any sexist views. So when something they take for granted (such as, for example, the damsel in distress trope in video games) is shown as sexist, they get defensive because not only do they not want to be seen as sexist, they don't want to be sexist. Self-criticism is a very rare trait found in people in general, because we all want to believe that we are in the RIGHT! Speaking from experience when I was younger, simply being wrong is, for many people, a terrifying concept, with the fear being more subtly potent the longer the view is held without being questioned externally. Even now, I do feel some fear that I'm wrong, and from being wrong, a stupid, unintelligent (and thus backwards) person.

Such a thing certainly can't account for all, or even most, of the abuse women get on the internet (not just feminists; any woman). But I do suspect that it's common enough to be at least subtly influencing on peers.