"LOS ANGELES, CA — In a rare public statement, The Prince of Darkness has distanced himself from last night's Grammys performance by Sam Smith, which he denounced as "cringy" and "appalling."
"Listen, folks, I enjoy demonic sexual perversion just as much as the next guy, but this is just too much," said the frustrated Father of Lies. "I'm the god of this world! I appear as an angel of light! It's supposed to be sneaky and subtle! Has Hollywood lost its ability to be subtle? What on earth happened to this town?"
"And how am I supposed to corrupt the next generation when no one watches this garbage anymore?" he lamented. "At least I still have TikTok."
Horrified Satan Distances Self From Grammys