Don't know when I've been so blue
Don't know what's come over you
You've found someone new and
Don't it make my brown eyes blue
Well, the wife went out of town 'bout a year or so back
And left me at home by myself to bach
And after five straight nights of TV, I was ready to scream.
So I called up this beer drinkin' buddy of mine
I said, "Bill, I ain't havin' a real good time."
He said, "Why don't we go to the rasslin' matches and let off a little steam?"
The main event was the Spider from parts unknown
With his trusty partner, the Blue Cyclone.
They was takin' on a team that never had been beat.
Now, I'd never seen the matches before
And the crowd was backed up plumb out the door,
But me an' ol' Bill lucked out and got ringside seats.
Well, then they rang the bell and all hell broke loose
My legs was shakin' like a rubber goose
I'd never seen anything like this, not even in the war!
The Cyclone put the Vulture in an airplane spin
Then he body slammed him, and he did it again
I swear I didn't see how that old boy could take much more.
It was right about then in the thick of things
My buddy Bill threw a chair in the ring
And that's when I knew we'd better be headin' for the door. 'Cause I saw the Cyclone lookin' at us
And he was rubbin' his head and he started to cuss
And I knew if he caught us he'd break Bill's neck for sure.
Well, where we parked wasn't too far
And Bill ran so fast he beat me to the car,
Locked the doors and wasn't about to let anybody in.
And I turned around and the Cyclone was there
And he said, "Hey punk, you forgot your chair!"
And by the look in his eyes, I knew that this was the end.
Then he body slammed me two or three times
And he put his arms around me from behind
Then he piledrived me right there in the hard concrete.
Broke both my arms and three of my ribs
It's the closest I've ever come to being killed