Teaching kids about sex.

[nutshell]

Can you plz show us some of this research?

It will be more beneficial to you if you do it on your own.

 

[Comprehend]

Then your three year old is ahead of the rest of her age-group. Most children that age, still have issues distiguishing fantasy and reality, Jean Piaget called it the pre-operational stage.

She's cute too.

 

[Bishka]

She's cute too.

I bet, most three year olds are the cutest thing since sliced bread (IMO).

 

[Mathematician]

I'm of the opinion the parents did nothing wrong.

I wouldn't teach my children in that manner, but I don't see it as any more destructive than sheltering children from sex and throwing a fit when they finally spread their wings.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I wouldn't necessarily say it was wrong. Abit extreme, yes, but not wrong.

 

[Booko]

So why not shelter them from all potentially confusing stimuli? Throw out the TV. Stay away from animals, construction sites, sports, and, for heaven's sake, don't let them see you eat!

*sigh*

You know, Seyorni, back when the 1st Gulf War was on my son was 2, and he was obviuosly affected by news coverage and NOT able to deal with it. So we changed to the Weather Channel.

Were we wrong?

Why are we singling out this common and ordinary act to shelter them from?

Because it was the subject of the OP?

 

[Quoth The Raven]

Then your three year old is ahead of the rest of her age-group. Most children that age, still have issues distiguishing fantasy and reality, Jean Piaget called it the pre-operational stage.

But the framework for later developmental stages is already there, so if you go out of your way to teach your child the difference, odds are they'll grasp it without too much difficulty. My kids had the difference between reality and fantasy down by 2ish. Comes in handy when your 2 year old loves zombie movies.

 

[Bishka]

But the framework for later developmental stages is already there, so if you go out of your way to teach your child the difference, odds are they'll grasp it without too much difficulty. My kids had the difference between reality and fantasy down by 2ish. Comes in handy when your 2 year old loves zombie movies.

It is, and some do understand it, but I've been dealing with some three year olds that still insist that there is a 'thing' or a 'boogeyman' in the bathroom/bedroom/closet or that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Spiderman are real. I defintley agree with that framework being there, but, some children quickly distinguish very easily between fantasy and reality and some take a bit longer.

 

[Ðanisty]

I heard a doctor talking about this topic recently (not Dr. Laura). He said people do this claiming to be "open" and "educating their child." However, the reality is a young brain does not have the capability to process the information. The doctor said what typically happens is these children begin sex early. They have an unhealthy view of what sex is. And they have difficulties establishing healthy relationships in general.

So your take on this is that it's harmful for someone at the age of 9 to know anything about sex. I knew about sex before I was 9. I asked my parents about it and they told me truthfully and sat me down with an education video (it was a cartoon).

How can your evidence prove for certain that children who learn about sex at that age have sex earlier. Could it not be just as possible that children who are curious about sex early on would have had sex earlier anyway?

The problem I have with this couple is that they've done it more than once. It's not like the kids have to take notes on it or something. What's the reason for allowing it so many times and what's the reason for having the kid on the bed with them?

Then your three year old is ahead of the rest of her age-group. Most children that age, still have issues distiguishing fantasy and reality, Jean Piaget called it the pre-operational stage.

Cute story for you. When my hubby's little sister was 8 years old she wanted to roleplay with us. We figured children do this anyway so as long as we made the game age-appropriate, it would be okay. We asked her beforehand if she knew the difference between fantasy and reality because we wanted to make sure we weren't going to be screwing with her head. Her response..."Fantasy is make believe and I'm not sure about reality yet." What a great answer! I think I'm still trying to figure that out...lol.

 

[nutshell]

So your take on this is that it's harmful for someone at the age of 9 to know anything about sex. I knew about sex before I was 9. I asked my parents about it and they told me truthfully and sat me down with an education video (it was a cartoon).

How can your evidence prove for certain that children who learn about sex at that age have sex earlier. Could it not be just as possible that children who are curious about sex early on would have had sex earlier anyway?

The problem I have with this couple is that they've done it more than once. It's not like the kids have to take notes on it or something. What's the reason for allowing it so many times and what's the reason for having the kid on the bed with them?

Cute story for you. When my hubby's little sister was 8 years old she wanted to roleplay with us. We figured children do this anyway so as long as we made the game age-appropriate, it would be okay. We asked her beforehand if she knew the difference between fantasy and reality because we wanted to make sure we weren't going to be screwing with her head. Her response..."Fantasy is make believe and I'm not sure about reality yet." What a great answer! I think I'm still trying to figure that out...lol.

Your overstating my claim and taking it to extremes.

 

[Ðanisty]

Your overstating my claim and taking it to extremes.

Uh, no I'm not. That is exactly what I got out of your post.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Reseach has been done and it is harmful.

Harmful is relative, though. I wonder if the harm that was done was due to the rest of our society keeping sex in the closet. Would it be different in a primitive culture, where sex cannot be hidden away? After all, sex in the wild is always done in the open.

I personally learned about sex at a very young age in a way that was probably more traumatic than what the child in question experienced (but maybe not, I'm not the child). At least the parents were doing what they thought was in the child's best interest. Many children catch their parents in the act anyway, and the act becomes something forbidden and kept behind closed doors. My concern would be more in how the rest of society treats the child's experience. But then, I only know what the article told me...

 

[Booko]

It is, and some do understand it, but I've been dealing with some three year olds that still insist that there is a 'thing' or a 'boogeyman' in the bathroom/bedroom/closet or that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Spiderman are real. I defintley agree with that framework being there, but, some children quickly distinguish very easily between fantasy and reality and some take a bit longer.

Yes, at 3 our son insisted he had a friend named "Clipper" living in the wall of his bedroom.

We suspect it was just caused by noises in the stairwell on the other side as neighbors were coming and going (we were living in an apt at the time), but really, who knows where he got the idea from?

 

[Booko]

So your take on this is that it's harmful for someone at the age of 9 to know anything about sex.

I think I missed something. I thought Nutshell was commenting on the idea of teaching your 9 year old about sex by doing it in front of them, which is not equivalent to suggesting they know nothing at all.

I knew about sex before I was 9. I asked my parents about it and they told me truthfully and sat me down with an education video (it was a cartoon).

My kids did as well. When they ask you what the cats are up to, I can't see the point in lying. But that doesn't mean I need to go rush out and get them a copy of Joy of Sex either. There's a middle path here, and every child moves at a different rate.

The problem I have with this couple is that they've done it more than once. It's not like the kids have to take notes on it or something. What's the reason for allowing it so many times and what's the reason for having the kid on the bed with them?

Yeah, that's a bit odd, to say the least.

"Fantasy is make believe and I'm not sure about reality yet." What a great answer! I think I'm still trying to figure that out...lol.

Too funny! :biglaugh:

I'm not so sure about reality myself either. I suspect it's all an illusion after all. haha

 

[Booko]

Harmful is relative, though. I wonder if the harm that was done was due to the rest of our society keeping sex in the closet.

What is the deal with so many people assuming this false dichotomy anyway?

Seriously, we have more choices than the two extremes.

Why is it we have to choose between doing everything and keeping it in the closet?

We've done neither of those things with our kids.

Anyone for some "grey area" here?

 

[nutshell]

Uh, no I'm not. That is exactly what I got out of your post.

Uh, yes you are.

You said:

So your take on this is that it's harmful for someone at the age of 9 to know anything about sex.

Emphasis added.

That was never my claim. Reread more carefully and you'll see that.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

What is the deal with so many people assuming this false dichotomy anyway?

Seriously, we have more choices than the two extremes.

Why is it we have to choose between doing everything and keeping it in the closet?

We've done neither of those things with our kids.

Anyone for some "grey area" here?

I agree completely. But is casually having sex in front of a child the extreme to keeping it in the closet?

 

[Gentoo]

I think that sex education is important, but not at 9. In my opinion 9 year olds have other things to worry about, vocabulary tests, soccar games, trying to weasel 2 dollars from your parents to get a couple chocolate bars, staying outside playing until it was too dark to see. Why upset that with something as monumental as sex when they don't realize that it really is monumental?

 

[xexon]

I don't have a problem with the parents allowing their child to watch, if it's in the correct context. None of us were there, so we don't know, do we?

Such a thing can be handled with grace or horror. It depends on the skill of the parents to explain what is happening. Most parents would freak out and yell and such. This shows their lack of skill in dealing with the subject.

It takes either very wise or very perverted parents to allow their children to witness lovemaking.

None of you are capable of sitting in judgement of the parents. You were not there.

Don't allow the imagination to fill in the missing blanks.





x

 

[Dolphin]

I agree with Gentoo... I woul'nt try to justify exopsing children and it may even be illegal to put on a sex show for adolesents. However, I would advocate sex education suttle starting at late 12 to 13, there are many professional publications to guide parents. Nudity would be ok, it is a lifestyle but sex...NO!!!!!!