The desire to live when there is no afterlife

[Unveiled Artist]

If I follow your question than yes, you can accept the truth of others as your truth, but this won't necessarily make it your truth. All of us carry our own truth inside. This is what I believe Yeshua meant when he said the"...kingdom of God is within you...". It's our task to discover and live that truth.

I can see that. In a we-religion, the truth is reflection from everyone. So, it's not following the truth of others as one would have a leader and the rest would follow. It's the truth is embedded in all and each and individual member of the community; one truth. One kingdom. So, truth is found in the community and, as a result, each member who is a part of the community has truth for himself.

I know it is kind of foreign because western concepts focus on the individual. Although I was born and raised in this view, I disagree with it. I feel that if we were to be, say Christ like, we need to be one in his body not individual bodies spread out.

The core isn't something we follow, the core is something we are. Can't be a 'lone community.

In a community faith, of Body of Christ, it would be, the Kingdom of God is within us. More than one people in the body of Christ. We all become one body, one Christ, and within us one kingdom. Individual truth makes me sound egotistic. Almost as if I put down the rest of humanity for my own sake.

I remember going to social security and I came out of the building. An African American (I'm African American) stood outside and we started talking. (There is somewhat of an indivisible bond between African Americans here in America). He asked me what church I went to. I said the Catholic Church.

He goes "you left us for a white church, huh?"

He means I left the Black community. I turned my back on my culture and heritage to a Church (and people, as he calls all white) who in our history brought slavery and everything we stand against.

I will always remember that. We-communities are beautiful because each share one truth within themselves. Each individuals truth is a reflection of each other's. It's not taking another person's truth, it is being each other's truth; one body. I-communities are beautiful given one can focus on one's on well being without other people; and, I find it's more self-centered (Not selfish. Different meaning).

Nothing wrong with that. We can find the truth in both, you agree?

 

[BSM1]

I can see that. In a we-religion, the truth is reflection from everyone. So, it's not following the truth of others as one would have a leader and the rest would follow. It's the truth is embedded in all and each and individual member of the community; one truth. One kingdom. So, truth is found in the community and, as a result, each member who is a part of the community has truth for himself.

I know it is kind of foreign because western concepts focus on the individual. Although I was born and raised in this view, I disagree with it. I feel that if we were to be, say Christ like, we need to be one in his body not individual bodies spread out.

The core isn't something we follow, the core is something we are. Can't be a 'lone community.

In a community faith, of Body of Christ, it would be, the Kingdom of God is within us. More than one people in the body of Christ. We all become one body, one Christ, and within us one kingdom. Individual truth makes me sound egotistic. Almost as if I put down the rest of humanity for my own sake.

I remember going to social security and I came out of the building. An African American (I'm African American) stood outside and we started talking. (There is somewhat of an indivisible bond between African Americans here in America). He asked me what church I went to. I said the Catholic Church.

He goes "you left us for a white church, huh?"

He means I left the Black community. I turned my back on my culture and heritage to a Church (and people, as he calls all white) who in our history brought slavery and everything we stand against.

I will always remember that. We-communities are beautiful because each share one truth within themselves. Each individuals truth is a reflection of each other's. It's not taking another person's truth, it is being each other's truth; one body. I-communities are beautiful given one can focus on one's on well being without other people; and, I find it's more self-centered (Not selfish. Different meaning).

Nothing wrong with that. We can find the truth in both, you agree?

Personally I don't need others to define or illuminate my truth; however I will concede that like-minded people would tend to validate my truth. There are a couple of glaring problems I have with We-community truth. We-community believers are generally not open to new ideas or directions unless these truths are accepted by the whole community, especially if the new information seems to attack or contradict the core belief. Secondly, when you draw your last breath the we-community does not. You have to face the next life by yourself. I believe that I will face a "panel" on the other side and I will be asked one question: "Did you learn anything?" I would like to be able to say that I learned to think for myself. But, again, this is just my truth.

 

[Falvlun]

I used to believe in the afterlife of eternal bliss and that I would live there after I die. Having this belief was an absolute psychological need for me that I desperately depended upon my whole life. Why? It is because most of us as human beings are hardwired for survival. The desire to live forever is hardwired into us. At least, that is, most of us. Some people are actually fine for whatever reason with the idea of dying forever.

This hardwired feature is stronger in some people and weaker in others. Unfortunately, in my case, it is very powerful. So upon losing my belief in the afterlife, it was completely devastating for me. I felt very strong feelings of suffocation mentally. Suffocation is a feeling that you need air. So a feeling of suffocation that is instead experienced mentally means that you have a psychological need for something (in this case, my need to live forever).

So me living forever is like the air I need to breathe. Having that taken away from me is like having a big pillow suffocating that life away from me. I am also in a state of depression. At this point, it is not a feeling of depression that is caused by any thought. Rather, it is the type of depression one would feel when they stop taking drugs that they desperately need. It is a psychological low since they can no longer get what they desperately need.

I feel that this desire to live keeps on kicking in, resulting in me experiencing those feelings of mental suffocation. I have no control over it. I am wondering if this will get better to the point of going away on its own. Will both this feeling of depression and this desire to live that is causing me so much turmoil pass on its own over time?

This probably won't help you much, but I find the idea of oblivion after death absolutely terrifying. If I think about it, I get really panicy, so I try not to think about. I immediately turn my mind to other things.

Or I try to console myself with the idea that reincarnation is possible (hey anything is possible) and how neat that would be and how I kinda wanna be a dog as long as my family is cool and takes me on walks and then before I know it, I'm distracted.

I also feel that since it's most likely that this is the only life we get, we should try to make it count. We should do all the things. We should pursue contentment and fulfillment.

I'm not great at that either, TBH. I'm not a carpe diem sort of person, by nature. But it is nice to remind yourself to really smell the roses and really take the time to enjoy them.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Personally I don't need others to define or illuminate my truth; however I will concede that like-minded people would tend to validate my truth. There are a couple of glaring problems I have with We-community truth. We-community believers are generally not open to new ideas or directions unless these truths are accepted by the whole community, especially if the new information seems to attack or contradict the core belief. Secondly, when you draw your last breath the we-community does not. You have to face the next life by yourself. I believe that I will face a "panel" on the other side and I will be asked one question: "Did you learn anything?" I would like to be able to say that I learned to think for myself. But, again, this is just my truth.

I like that view. Another perspective would be we-communities are open to accept other truths as a whole rather than as an individual. I don't believe a lot of we-communities are western minded to where they are closed from outside opinions. Rather, native cultures, for example, talk in means of diversity that strengthens their views. I agree, if their views are challenged they resort to how their community (themselves not others) think rather than forming an opinion isolated from their community. If it is open and willing to learn and change, I don't see harm and limitation in a we-community just a family with whom share the same truth.

I think many people think we-communities in religious context refer to Catholicism and things of that nature. Maybe many think that we-communities are limited and they push their beliefs on others are not open to beliefs and can't be challenged. I disagree. We-communities are cultural. When you challenge a person's culture, it makes sense to be defensive because that is part of their being. However, their defensiveness is different than say that of Catholicism (or like-minded) religions.

We-community religions tend to be defensive to the point of pushing their beliefs on others or political in nature. We-communities in culture tend to be more open or have more humility in nature. The we-communities I have came in contact with: Deaf community, Cherokee, African American, and Korean among others, seem to only be closed in that they don't share their own values unless they trust. They seemed to be upset over oppression and American politics.

However, humility, openness, and family like I see more in their communities and seeing humanity as a whole I found in theirs. Christianity (as people always reflect their opinions off of Christianity) seem to do the opposite.

I think we need to put the idea of Western religion aside and see we-communities in their own light rather than see them from another.

 

[PackJason]

Will both this feeling of depression and this desire to live that is causing me so much turmoil pass on its own over time?

When I stopped believing in an afterlife, it was a surreal feeling that stuck with me for a little while. I never became depressed, but rather came to the conclusion that if this is the only life I get, I better make the most of it. I have been a much, much happier person since I gave up believing in the supernatural.

Here's a quote attributed to Mark Twain that helped me deal with the reality of my own mortality:

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

 

[Kelly of the Phoenix]

This probably won't help you much, but I find the idea of oblivion after death absolutely terrifying. If I think about it, I get really panicy, so I try not to think about. I immediately turn my mind to other things.

Sometimes I do, too, which is weird coming from a chronically depressed person with occasional suicidal ideations: I want to live.
Still, any suffering would ALSO end if that was the end, so ...

 

[PackJason]

Trying to imagine oblivion will do nothing but give you a headache. lol.

The way I look at it, I think oblivion must be like going under general anesthesia (it is understood that people do not dream under anesthesia) ... only you don't wake up.

 

[Falvlun]

Trying to imagine oblivion will do nothing but give you a headache. lol.

The way I look at it, I think oblivion must be like going under general anesthesia (it is understood that people do not dream under anesthesia) ... only you don't wake up.

Arghhhhh! Was that supposed to make it sound any better?

 

[PackJason]

Arghhhhh! Was that supposed to make it sound any better?

lol

Sorry. I didn't mean to make it worse.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

This isn't a fear of death. Me living in eternal bliss is an absolute life depending need and my life is completely destroyed, empty, and devastated since this absolute psychological need is not being met. The only way to meet this need and bring back the joy and meaning in my life is to somehow regain my belief in the eternal blissful afterlife. I am not sure this can be done though.

 

[PackJason]

This isn't a fear of death. Me living in eternal bliss is an absolute life depending need and my life is completely destroyed, empty, and devastated since this absolute psychological need is not being met. The only way to meet this need and bring back the joy and meaning in my life is to somehow regain my belief in the eternal blissful afterlife. I am not sure this can be done though.

I have no idea why you feel you need to have an afterlife in order to enjoy this life.

That's like saying, "I can't enjoy this roller coaster ride because the park is closing and I don't get to go on another roller coaster ride."

 

[BSM1]

I have no idea why you feel you need to have an afterlife in order to enjoy this life.

That's like saying, "I can't enjoy this roller coaster ride because the park is closing and I don't get to go on another roller coaster ride."

Or you can be saying I am enjoying this roller coaster ride because it will end while I am still thrilled and I can tell others about my experience. Also if the park closes or goes out of business there will be other parks and roller coasters. It's a two-edged sword.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

I have no idea why you feel you need to have an afterlife in order to enjoy this life.

That's like saying, "I can't enjoy this roller coaster ride because the park is closing and I don't get to go on another roller coaster ride."

It's a different situation somehow. I know what you are saying and I am applying this line of logic in my situation, but it doesn't work at all. Therefore, this is not the same situation here. Me living in eternal bliss is just an absolute psychological need for me that devastates my life when this need isn't met.

 

[paarsurrey]

I used to believe in the afterlife of eternal bliss and that I would live there after I die. Having this belief was an absolute psychological need for me that I desperately depended upon my whole life. Why? It is because most of us as human beings are hardwired for survival. The desire to live forever is hardwired into us. At least, that is, most of us. Some people are actually fine for whatever reason with the idea of dying forever.
This hardwired feature is stronger in some people and weaker in others. Unfortunately, in my case, it is very powerful. So upon losing my belief in the afterlife, it was completely devastating for me. I felt very strong feelings of suffocation mentally. Suffocation is a feeling that you need air. So a feeling of suffocation that is instead experienced mentally means that you have a psychological need for something (in this case, my need to live forever).
So me living forever is like the air I need to breathe. Having that taken away from me is like having a big pillow suffocating that life away from me. I am also in a state of depression. At this point, it is not a feeling of depression that is caused by any thought. Rather, it is the type of depression one would feel when they stop taking drugs that they desperately need. It is a psychological low since they can no longer get what they desperately need.
I feel that this desire to live keeps on kicking in, resulting in me experiencing those feelings of mental suffocation. I have no control over it. I am wondering if this will get better to the point of going away on its own. Will both this feeling of depression and this desire to live that is causing me so much turmoil pass on its own over time?

"So upon losing my belief in the afterlife"
Belief in afterlife is so soothing and useful; why did you lose it? Please
Regards

 

[suncowiam]

Ask yourself this question: do you want to believe in an afterlife?

If the answer to that question is yes, than aspire to believe. Forget what others say. No matter what you believe or do, there will always be someone out there who contradicts you. What's important is for you to be comfortable with you. Believe what you want to believe, and what works for you.

Look at Fox Mulder, he wanted to believe in Aliens and now the X-Files script suggested that it was all a government conspiracy. LOL Ok, that made no sense.

Anyhows...

I can't agree with your suggestion. Beliefs need to be grounded in some form or another. No?

I'm just saying maybe a little feedback loop in your belief system would help navigate with what's actually happening around you. =)

Would a clinical psychiatrist offer such a suggestion?

 

[suncowiam]

If you have the ability to do so, I would strongly encourage you to work with a clinical psychologist on this.

Gonna completely agree with Quintessence on this. Thumbs up and liked!

 

[Quintessence]

I can't agree with your suggestion. Beliefs need to be grounded in some form or another. No?

Beginning with the question "do I want to believe this?" - which is essentially asking the question "what do I value?" is a good and necessary starting point. What I wrote was not meant to suggest that one stops there. As far as I can discern, no human beliefs lack grounding - there is always some kind of reasoning behind them, ranging "I value this" and "this is important to me" to "this is consistent with my observations" and "a person I trust said this is so" (and then some). Humans can find reasons for anything - to me the key starting point is personal values. There are few things more miserable than trying to hold a worldview that conflicts with one's values... which is precisely what the OP struggles with.

 

[suncowiam]

Beginning with the question "do I want to believe this?" - which is essentially asking the question "what do I value?" is a good and necessary starting point. What I wrote was not meant to suggest that one stops there. As far as I can discern, no human beliefs lack grounding - there is always some kind of reasoning behind them, ranging "I value this" and "this is important to me" to "this is consistent with my observations" and "a person I trust said this is so" (and then some). Humans can find reasons for anything - to me the key starting point is personal values. There are few things more miserable than trying to hold a worldview that conflicts with one's values... which is precisely what the OP struggles with.

Thanks buddy for the clarification. =)

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

I have no idea why you feel you need to have an afterlife in order to enjoy this life.

That's like saying, "I can't enjoy this roller coaster ride because the park is closing and I don't get to go on another roller coaster ride."

I think I can finally explain my situation. It is no different than being miserable on that roller coaster ride since you know it will end and it ending is the absolute worst thing to you. You have the overwhelming desire for it to last forever since it is something so precious to you. This desire prevents you from enjoying the roller coaster ride in the here and now and no matter what you tell yourself, nothing works and you still remain devastated and miserable.

I am fine with movies and roller coaster rides ending since they are not the most important things. However, me being alive and enjoying this life is the most important and precious thing to me and the idea that this will be forever gone one day when I die prevents me from enjoying this life I have and renders my life completely empty and miserable.

 

[Falvlun]

It's a different situation somehow. I know what you are saying and I am applying this line of logic in my situation, but it doesn't work at all. Therefore, this is not the same situation here. Me living in eternal bliss is just an absolute psychological need for me that devastates my life when this need isn't met.

If you need an afterlife, then what's stopping you from believing in one? I mean, there's really no evidence either way regarding what happens after death. It's not like there's this overwhelming body of evidence that says "yup, this life is all we get" that you would have to ignore to believe that there is an afterlife.