That's called "brainwashing", Deeje.
Time will tell who has suffered the brain "washing", as opposed to the brain "cleansing", metis......I believe being raised in Christendom filled my mind with nothing but rubbish.....I was happy for the "cleansing". I could never return to Christendom, just like the Jewish Christians could never return to Judaism.
I made a choice 45 years ago and I have not been swayed to change my mind even slightly since then, in fact all my convictions have been confirmed and reinforced. The more I see of Christendom's friendship with this world, the more I see James 4:4 demonstrated. Quite frankly, I believe that God finds it offensive. But you are free to choose it if you think it will lead you to the life you seek.
This is the time for decision, not "limping on different opinions". (James 1:6-8) Will you still hold your present beliefs a year from now? Have your excursions into different belief systems brought you certainty and joy? Have you ever felt settled in a spiritual home? I can tell you, it's a nice place to live. Doubt just corrodes faith.
Conviction brings peace and confidence. I sincerely hope you find it.