To Punish, or Not to Punish

[Quagmire]

One big problem that I see is that a lot of people don't understand the difference between discipline, punishment, and abuse.
These are fine lines, and ones that's blur easily. Especially by people who have a vested interest in blurring them. .

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

Some of our Christian friends told us to use a large glue stick on our son, which we tried twice before chucking it. It was too stressful. I cried too. It left little welts on his bottom (he was about 8 or 9, not a baby, but still). How horrible. I threw them away. Time outs are what we used before and after that short time with the "rod."

I'm so sorry that you and your family went through such a horrible experience like that. I know it was difficult to endure, but I'm glad that you and your husband ditched spanking your son. I'm a strong advocate against adults hitting children, whether they're the children's parents or not. I won't stand by and do nothing while another parent hits their child. I won't hesitate to call the police on another parent if I see them smacking their child in public. If I don't know the parent, then I will call the police; but if I do know who the parent is, then I will call CPS and ask them to go check on the child who was physically struck by their parent. On a side note, I volunteer at the local Children's Advocacy Center, and I have for a long time. Being an advocate for children is very important to me.

 

[Mock Turtle]

I suspect we can all point to anecdotal evidence as to whether punishments tend to work or don't. My parents never smacked my brothers or myself and we all apparently grew up as being quite reasonable and not out of control, even if we did have some expected issues.

I think the evidence from studies tends to show that physical punishments (as usually conceived) is often or usually not the answer since it often gives the wrong message (inflicting power over others gives suitable results), often comes from the wrong place (anger, and often exasperation), often is done because other avenues are not even thought about, and lastly, because it often just doesn't work - for many, that is. And perhaps is why so many countries have banned this or are intending to do so, especially those not so religiously inclined.

But, punishment is still seen as just being a natural result of any infringement of codes or laws, and no doubt will stay this way, even as crimes rise and people wring their hands in despair as to 'life always getting worse'. So where has all the 'love for others' gone? Oh, only for those who deserve it, and some are removed immediately from the list of such as soon as their behaviour becomes intolerable.

For myself, I think we as a society need to look more closely at crime and punishment.

 

[danieldemol]

@KenS
Im not a parent. But I've read numerous parenting books, am going for a degree in early childhood education, and have helped my grandma with her foster kids numerous times.

There are many many ways of disciplining children and every parenting book I've read states that hitting a child can be detrimental and that there's other methods of discipline. 100s even. Takes more creativity and respect for a child but there's usually no reason to hit a child unless you lack the education for other methods of discpline

Ok, but many people do lack the education for other methods of discipline.

So I think there needs to be educational campaigns for new parents at least to train them in those hundreds of other methods of disciplining their child. Or at least some of those other methods.

In my opinion.

 

[VoidCat]

Ok, but many people do lack the education for other methods of discipline.

So I think there needs to be educational campaigns for new parents at least to train them in those hundreds of other methods of disciplining their child. Or at least some of those other methods.

In my opinion.

If we teach the kids to parent in school it'd solve a lot of problems