Toronto couple raises their children gender-neutral

[Marble]

Recently I read an article about the differences between male and female brain that mentioned this couple.
What do you say?
I believe they are doomed to fail and make it hard for their children to develope a stable identity.
Baby Storm Raised Genderless

 

[Breathe]

Doomed to fail, and a pretty cruel to do to a child.

"We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime." - from article.

This, to me, shows that they have no valid reason for doing it. They are using their child for what appear to be political reasons, and in other cases, as some sort of experiment. It just appears silly to me.

 

[Revoltingest]

I wonder how the parents will react when the kid starts behaving as one would expect for "its" gender?
Will they be disappointed if he acts like a boy or she like a girl?

 

[YmirGF]

Mommy and Daddy's cruel little experiment. Talk about sending your kids into the lion's den unarmed. Good thinking.... more like... what are they thinking? Perhaps a test case of child abuse laws would be instructive for them.

I wonder, should we have a rule, "Thou shalt not make thy children ones ideological playthings!"

 

[LuisDantas]

Talk about misguidance.

Respecting sexual minorities is a necessity. Refusing to recognize an important part of a young child's identity is something else entirely. It is not respectful, not at all. It is rejection and denial, and very dangerous indeed.

The child may well turn out homosexual or transexual eventually, but there is no point in giving her such a freak treatment. Identity is both needed and learned from other people.

Are the couple perhaps assuming that they "shouldn't interfere with the child's choices" or somesuch? Do they realize what being a child is?

 

[Rakhel]

Actually, from the looks of it, they are not sharing the gender with the world. Storm may know precisely which sex s/he is.

 

[Revoltingest]

OK, call me naive, but I believe the kid will end up with a gender identity anyway.
Is it really all that dangerous an experiment.
(Note: It still strikes me as bonkers.)

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Actually, from the looks of it, they are not sharing the gender with the world. Storm may know precisely which sex s/he is.

Yes - that's my take on it, too. It's not that they're "raising the child genderless"; it's that they're not indulging nosy strangers who want to butt into their family's life, and to stop people from putting their child in a preconceived box just because of his/her gender. The child will know what gender he or she is by seeing what's in his or her pants... or by being told directly by his or her parents, even if they don't tell the rest of us.

None of this is cruel, IMO.

 

[Marble]

The child may well turn out homosexual or transexual eventually,

Homosexuality would be not problematic, you can be homosexual and live a happy life.
Transsexuality would mean a sex transformation process.
But there are man who lack a stable male identity and commit the most weird acts in order to proof their manliness - serial killers come to my mind.

OK, call me naive, but I believe the kid will end up with a gender identity anyway.

Hopefully.

 

[ChristineES]

I don't see the problem with having gender. What in the heck is wrong with being a man or a woman? I am a woman and I like being a woman. I am sure men like being men, too. And those who don't like their gender are being more accepted all the time.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I don't see the problem with having gender. What in the heck is wrong with being a man or a woman? I am a woman and I like being a woman. I am sure men like being men, too. And those who don't like their gender are being more accepted all the time.

Here's the issue I see in this case:

Would knowing the baby's gender change your behaviours and actions toward the baby?

- if yes, then there's the reason for the parents' decision.
- if no, then why should you care about the parents' decison?

 

[ChristineES]

Here's the issue I see in this case:

Would knowing the baby's gender change your behaviours and actions toward the baby?

- if yes, then there's the reason for the parents' decision.
- if no, then why should you care about the parents' decison?

I am not sure why I am not allowed to disagree.

But, they can raise their children any way they want. I wouldn't do the same because I see no problem with gender. :sarcastic

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I am not sure why I am not allowed to disagree.

It's not that you're not allowed to disagree; it's that any motivation for your disagreement could be flipped around to be used by the parents as a reason for their decision.

 

[ChristineES]

It's not that you're not allowed to disagree; it's that any motivation for your disagreement could be flipped around to be used by the parents as a reason for their decision.

I doubt I would say anything to the couple, at any rate- I don't know them or even who they are and I wouldn't even if I did know them, as it's none of my business. But why would anything I say about influence them? They don't have to answer to me, even family members wouldn't have to answer to me.

 

[Katzpur]

Here's the issue I see in this case:

Would knowing the baby's gender change your behaviours and actions toward the baby?

Well, it would certainly influence how you refer to that baby. Unless you were going to use the baby's name constantly in conversation, you'd have to refer to him or her as "it."

Family friend: How's Storm doing?
Storm's Parent: Storm's doing fine. Storm took storm's first steps last night. Storm's been standing up by the sofa for awhile now, but it finally got the courage to let go and walk. It fell down after four steps, but it got right up again.

Wouldn't that get kind of tedious... not to mention laughable?

 

[Alceste]

They have an older son who likes to wear pink dresses and nail polish and keep his hair in braids - people's reaction to him was what provoked them not to share their third son's gender.

Agree or disagree with their methods, can you really blame them for wanting to find a way to protect their other kids?

 

[Alceste]

Well, it would certainly influence how you refer to that baby. Unless you were going to use the baby's name constantly in conversation, you'd have to refer to him or her as "it."

Family friend: How's Storm doing?
Storm's Parent: Storm's doing fine. Storm took storm's first steps last night. Storm's been standing up by the sofa for awhile now, but it finally got the courage to let go and walk. It fell down after four steps, but it got right up again.

Wouldn't that get kind of tedious... not to mention laughable?

They use the pronoun (s)he. Sounds like she - you have to imagine the brackets.

 

[Katzpur]

They use the pronoun (s)he. Sounds like she - you have to imagine the brackets.

I don't understand. "(S)he" pronounced is pronounced like "she"? How is anyone to know that there are brackets? And what is this kid going to do when the other kids start asking, "Are you a boy or are you a girl?" Is (s)he going to say, "I don't know. Nobody will tell me"?

 

[Katzpur]

They have an older son who likes to wear pink dresses and nail polish and keep his hair in braids - people's reaction to him was what provoked them not to share their third son's gender.

Agree or disagree with their methods, can you really blame them for wanting to find a way to protect their other kids?

Personally, I think they should focus on finding a way to protect their kid who is being ridiculed rather than pretending that we are born genderless.

 

[Alceste]

I don't understand. "(S)he" pronounced is pronounced like "she"? How is anyone to know that there are brackets? And what is this kid going to do when the other kids start asking, "Are you a boy or are you a girl?" Is (s)he going to say, "I don't know. Nobody will tell me"?

As the mother says, if people think it's a girl because of the use of (s)he or sneak a peek during a playground diaper change, "that's their journey". The entire family obviously knows the gender of the child - the false notion that it is being kept from the child is histrionic silliness in the rush to find fault. Their "dangerous experiment" is to withhold an answer from people they feel are asking Storm's gender in order to modify their behavior in "gender-appropriate" ways. For example, shopkeepers who feel disdain for the purchase of toys or clothes designed for the gender the baby is not, like the one who was horrified that the mum was going to get Storm's big brother a pink feather boa he wanted.

One would assume an 18 month old baby wouldn't have much to say to the question "are you a boy or a girl?" It is statistically more likely than not that by the time the child is of an age when (s)he can verbalize any kind of response, (s)he will already be primarily attracted to the general accessories of whichever gender (s)he happens to be and the "experiment" will be over.

Would I raise my own kids this way? Probably not, but am I going to join the mad rush to condemn another woman's mothering style with no information apart from this one single detail? No, as far as I can tell from their interviews, both parents love and support all their kids unconditionally, and all their efforts are motivated by a keen interest in their children's well-being and fulfillment.