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UU joke of the day/week

michel

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
lilithu said:
Back to making fun of ourselves. :)


At one Sunday morning service, in of the very big Unitarian churches in Boston, a man was making a ruckus in the back pew. After every sentence the minister spoke, he would shout, "Amen! Halleluia!"

One of the ushers approached the man and spoke to him discreetly. "Sir, uh, we just don't do things like that here."

"But I got religion!"

"Well you certainly didn't get it here."
Click to expand...
That's nice - I really am beginning to feel that we need a bit more light-heartedness on the forum ! Fruballs to you!:D
 
Yerda

Yerda

Veteran Member
lilithu said:
At one Sunday morning service, in of the very big Unitarian churches in Boston, a man was making a ruckus in the back pew. After every sentence the minister spoke, he would shout, "Amen! Halleluia!"

One of the ushers approached the man and spoke to him discreetly. "Sir, uh, we just don't do things like that here."

"But I got religion!"

"Well you certainly didn't get it here."
Click to expand...
:biglaugh:

Quality stuff.
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
A devout Christian was arguing with a UU about the existence of God. He said, "Ok, just prove there is no God."

The UU quipped, "You can't prove there is no God - you have take it on faith."

;)
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
"Unitarian Universalists prefer buffet to catered," a UU was saying over coffee hour.

"What's wrong with catered food?" interupted another UU, catching only the last part of the conversation.

Explained the first, "I was referring to theology."
 
Davidium

Davidium

Active Member
(Beginning to the soon to be released Holy Bible, UU Translation)

"In the Beginning, there was nothing. And then God said "Let there be light"... and there was still nothing, but it was easier to see that there was nothing."

YoUUrs in faith,

David
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
UU#1: "UUs don't know enough about the Bible."

UU#2: "Some of us are self-taught, and know a lot. Like me"

UU#1: "Oh, yeah? I'll bet you five bucks you can't recite the Lord's Prayer."

UU#2: "You're on. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take."

UU#1: "Alright, I was wrong -- you win."

What's sad about this joke is when you tell it to a roomful of UUs and no one gets it. :D

addendum:
btw truth, Maize is right. I got most of these from web sites, and a few were told to me by UU friends.
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
In honor of the McD's vs BK thread:

There was a comic strip in the Boston Globe.
A man went to a drive through McCatholics (or something) and said

"I'd like a burger, but hold the guilt"

The worker was a priest, and said, "I'm sorry, we don't do special orders."

The first guy said, "But what about your motto, 'Have it your way'?"

And the priest said, "Oh no, you're thinking of 'Unitarian King' across the street!"


Post #1,000! :woohoo:
 
Davidium

Davidium

Active Member
A nurse who was visiting a UU Church near the hospital she worked at found a fellow nurse was already a member there. As they were chatting, the visiting nurse realized there were quite a few Doctors from the hospital who also were members.

The visiting nurse commented "I'm surprised at the number of Doctors who attend this church"

The nurse who was a member replied "Why? It is the only church that doesnt tell them they are not God".

YoUUrs in Faith,

David
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
Q: Do UU's ever pray?

A: Only when they think a Democrat is going to lose an election.

:eek:
 
Yerda

Yerda

Veteran Member
lilithu said:
Q: Do UU's ever pray?

A: Only when they think a Democrat is going to lose an election.

:eek:
Click to expand...
Either the target of the prayers wasn't listening, or the UUs were overconfident then? ;)
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
If an airplane were about to crash, some of the passengers would cry, some would pray, but a Unitarian minister would try to organize a committee on air safety.
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
An airplane was about to crash and the flight attendant asked a UU minister on board to pray. The minister responded, "Let us all join hands for silent meditation."
 
Davidium

Davidium

Active Member
A young lady came one Sunday to a UU Church of which she was a member. She was accompanied by a young man, whom she introduced to every eligable woman in the church as her "ex-boyfriend".

A friend of hers asked her why she brought the young man, if they were no longer dating, and why she was introducing him around to all the ladies.

The young lady responded, "Why, because I'm a UU, silly. We take recycling seriously!"

YoUUrs in Faith,

David
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
In recognition of the unofficial start of summer:

Q: Why don't UUs have to go to church in the summer?

A: Because God trusts them.

:D


Boy, it sure was dead (relatively speaking) at church this past Sunday.
 
Davidium

Davidium

Active Member
I always hear about other UU's not having church during the summer, but I have never been around a UU Church that didnt have services all summer. I became a member during the summer.

I think it is a conspiracy to mess with my mind... :)

YoUUrs in Faith,

David
 
lilithu

lilithu

The Devil's Advocate
Davidium said:
I always hear about other UU's not having church during the summer, but I have never been around a UU Church that didnt have services all summer. I became a member during the summer.

I think it is a conspiracy to mess with my mind... :)

YoUUrs in Faith,

David
Click to expand...
Namaste David!

We have services all summer, and I know several people who became members during the summer, but attendance sure does drop at our church. The people who start coming in the summer are surprised when Fall and the new church year starts and all of the sudden the number of people at services doubles. :eek:
 
Davidium

Davidium

Active Member
I guess ours is a little different, because we are a UU Church that is about 4 blocks from one of the best beaches in Texas... During the summer, we often get alot of "Visiting UU's" who are down here on vacation. Sure, many of our members go on vacation and leave, but we dont drop all that much.

And besides... when you live in Galveston, going to the beach for a vacation is just not something that appeals to you! You can go to the beach anytime! :)

*****************************
A woman goes to visit a Unitarian Universalist Church for the first time. The minister notices that, during the service, the woman starts smiling bigger and bigger, especially each time he mentioned how some point connected back into UU theology.

After the service, the minister made a point to seek out the woman. This was unnecessary, as the woman came right over to him wearing a huge smile. When she reached him she said "Minister, that was an excellent sermon! I love how it all was directly related to "Me Me"!"

"Related to you? How?" the minister asked in bewilderment.

"Well," the woman said, "you kept saying "This is how this point relates to UU".

YoUUrs in faith,

David
 
Davidium

Davidium

Active Member
This following one is less a UU joke, and more a UU truism....

Why is writing sermons for UU's easy?
-- Because you have an entire universe to choose from.

Why is writing sermons for UU's hard?
-- Because no matter what topic you choose, someone in the pews knows more about it than you do.

YoUUrs in faith,

David
 
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