What do you want your funeral to be like?

[SalixIncendium]

@Ayjaydee, was there a point to you coming along and completely derailing and disrupting this thead?

If you dislike the thread context, simply click on another. That’s all that’s to it. Really, it’s that easy.

 

[Dan From Smithville]

I thought of about 4 smart alec Answers I'll leave unsaid, lol

Don't hold out on my account. Remember, I'm plotting to traumatize everyone I know. I could hardly be in a position to be offended.

You can wait if you like. I have to get some sleep. My day is well passed its expression date. What a note to end this conversation on.

 

[Ayjaydee]

Don't hold out on my account. Remember, I'm plotting to traumatize everyone I know. I could hardly be in a position to be offended.

You can wait if you like. I have to get some sleep. My day is well passed its expression date. What a note to end this conversation on.

On my account. Big brother just walked in

 

[sciatica]

ive almost decided. no funeral.
save my money and others time.
just leave some money for a cheap cremation. no memorial plate nor stone.

 

[Dan From Smithville]

Funerals are for the living
Your participation is a last gift to them

I don't make out to be much of a giver, if I'm leaving them a used up old man's body I don't even want anymore.

That is all a funeral is really for. Maybe there is room to improve that model. Real legacies that comfort and do something more widely valuable.

Yeah, yeah, I know mystery death in the desert is all about me and maybe not thinking of how that might be taken. Ignore that. Let's move on for later discussion.

 

[Dan From Smithville]

On my account. Big brother just walked in

Civil smart alec comments it is then.

Later, later. We can pick this up later.

Just moderators here to guide us when we stray. Got lots of good advice too. Sometimes I even follow it. Well all the time, but I got to sound tough to maintain my street cred.

 

[Erebus]

My view is that funerals are for the benefit of the living. With that in mind, I would hope for:

1. Something that helps my loved ones in the grieving process.
2. Something cheap enough that it won't cause undue financial trouble for them.
3. For anybody who doesn't find that funerals help them to not feel that they're obligated to attend.

 

[Mock Turtle]

I'd like to be remembered as ill Duce. ill as in sick. Also Spiderman, and hopefully my pet tarantulas would find a good home.

I would want to die from a venemous arachnid bite and found half decomposed flesh partially eaten by wolves and two pallbearers because there's only two handles on a garbage can and some prayer warriors praying for my soul. Closed casket (or garbage can) funny funeral. I'd also like to be hung upside down and used as target practice for a while. I'd want my corpse spit on, mutilated, and urinated on as well to share in the humiliation and desecration of Il Duce, Jesus Christ, and the many souls I venerate who died without dignity or burial whose corpses were abused.

I would eventually like a Catholic priest to celebrate mass for the repose of my soul but not have too much good said about me, for I get more prayers if it sounds like my soul is in jeaprody. I'd want lots of laughter at my funeral as well though. I'd like it to more resemble a wedding with lots of drunkards dancing, and talking with slurred speech about what a nut I was and using me as the subject of their songs.

Would want my body to be kept in a box in a monastery for 12 years like Mussolini's was and my soul would ever pray with the monks and assist at Mass. Then I'd want my bones displayed on the walls as is done at a few monasteries.

I'd like my funeral (cremation) to go off with a bang. That's why I will be cremated in a coffin saturated with an explosive mixture.

PS TLAs, it's a joke. Or is it?

 

[BSM1]

I'd like to be remembered as ill Duce. ill as in sick. Also Spiderman, and hopefully my pet tarantulas would find a good home.

I would want to die from a venemous arachnid bite and found half decomposed flesh partially eaten by wolves and two pallbearers because there's only two handles on a garbage can and some prayer warriors praying for my soul. Closed casket (or garbage can) funny funeral. I'd also like to be hung upside down and used as target practice for a while. I'd want my corpse spit on, mutilated, and urinated on as well to share in the humiliation and desecration of Il Duce, Jesus Christ, and the many souls I venerate who died without dignity or burial whose corpses were abused.

I would eventually like a Catholic priest to celebrate mass for the repose of my soul but not have too much good said about me, for I get more prayers if it sounds like my soul is in jeaprody. I'd want lots of laughter at my funeral as well though. I'd like it to more resemble a wedding with lots of drunkards dancing, and talking with slurred speech about what a nut I was and using me as the subject of their songs.

Would want my body to be kept in a box in a monastery for 12 years like Mussolini's was and my soul would ever pray with the monks and assist at Mass. Then I'd want my bones displayed on the walls as is done at a few monasteries.

You want fries with that, P?

Seriously, there was a time that I wanted my body cavity scoped out and replaced with a giant cheese ball. I'd have a varied assortment of crackers around the coffin so folks could help themselves while they commented on how 'natural' I looked. But that was then, now, after I am cremated with a small memorial service, I want a catered lunch memorial for those closest to me invited. This would include family and friends, of course, but also the people I have made music with over the last few years. I'll have a drum kit, amps, and mics set up so those that wish can jam as long as they want. I had a family member do this for her dad when he passed, and it was great. Also, it cost her about two grand less than a funeral, and the stories and memories that were shared were priceless.

 

[Revoltingest]

Cheap.

 

[Stevicus]

I'll have my body donated to science.

 

[Jeremiah Ames]

I'd like to be remembered as ill Duce. ill as in sick. Also Spiderman, and hopefully my pet tarantulas would find a good home.

I would want to die from a venemous arachnid bite and found half decomposed flesh partially eaten by wolves and two pallbearers because there's only two handles on a garbage can and some prayer warriors praying for my soul. Closed casket (or garbage can) funny funeral. I'd also like to be hung upside down and used as target practice for a while. I'd want my corpse spit on, mutilated, and urinated on as well to share in the humiliation and desecration of Il Duce, Jesus Christ, and the many souls I venerate who died without dignity or burial whose corpses were abused.

I would eventually like a Catholic priest to celebrate mass for the repose of my soul but not have too much good said about me, for I get more prayers if it sounds like my soul is in jeaprody. I'd want lots of laughter at my funeral as well though. I'd like it to more resemble a wedding with lots of drunkards dancing, and talking with slurred speech about what a nut I was and using me as the subject of their songs.

Would want my body to be kept in a box in a monastery for 12 years like Mussolini's was and my soul would ever pray with the monks and assist at Mass. Then I'd want my bones displayed on the walls as is done at a few monasteries.

I don’t particularly care what my funeral is like, just as long is it’s NON religious.

 

[metis]

Since we're both in our 70's, my wife and I have decided to keep it fairly simple: one evening at a funeral parlor; a funeral mass the next day; cremation; and a family and close friends celebratory luncheon afterword.

 

[Vinayaka]

I'd like to be remembered as ill Duce. ill as in sick. Also Spiderman, and hopefully my pet tarantulas would find a good home.

I would want to die from a venemous arachnid bite and found half decomposed flesh partially eaten by wolves and two pallbearers because there's only two handles on a garbage can and some prayer warriors praying for my soul. Closed casket (or garbage can) funny funeral. I'd also like to be hung upside down and used as target practice for a while. I'd want my corpse spit on, mutilated, and urinated on as well to share in the humiliation and desecration of Il Duce, Jesus Christ, and the many souls I venerate who died without dignity or burial whose corpses were abused.

I would eventually like a Catholic priest to celebrate mass for the repose of my soul but not have too much good said about me, for I get more prayers if it sounds like my soul is in jeaprody. I'd want lots of laughter at my funeral as well though. I'd like it to more resemble a wedding with lots of drunkards dancing, and talking with slurred speech about what a nut I was and using me as the subject of their songs.

Would want my body to be kept in a box in a monastery for 12 years like Mussolini's was and my soul would ever pray with the monks and assist at Mass. Then I'd want my bones displayed on the walls as is done at a few monasteries.

Cheap. Small. Cremation. Dispersal. I'm pre-buying it and arranging it as much as possible before this body stops working completely. Less hassle for family.

 

[ChristineM]

I'd like my funeral (cremation) to go off with a bang. That's why I will be cremated in a coffin saturated with an explosive mixture.

PS TLAs, it's a joke. Or is it?

The opening line in a book (the crow road) by one of my favourite authors (Iain Banks) opens with the words "It was the day my grandmother exploded".

At the crematorium for grandmothers funeral. The doors burst open, the doctor bursts in shouting stop, but too late had he remembered not to remove the deceists pacemaker.

Good book

 

[ChristineM]

My grandfather had the right idea. After the cremation the mourners were invited to his local pub where he had left £1000 behind the bar to finance his send-off.

 

[Revoltingest]

I'll have my body donated to science.

I wonder if anyone ever donates their body to religion?

 

[Woberts]

I wonder if anyone ever donates their body to religion?

Where do you think the blood of Christ comes from?

 

[Revoltingest]

Where do you think the blood of Christ comes from?

Don't know.
I gots no Bible learn'n.

 

[Terry Sampson]

I'll have my body donated to science.

Smart move. Give it to the scientific folks to do what they can with it and dispose of what they don't use, ... at their expense. No fuss, no mess, no cost to kin, ... not that kin are going to take up a collection to pay for your disposal to begin with.