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What If We Admitted to Children That Sex Is Primarily About Pleasure?

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
We could do that, but then we would need to kill them after admitting it in order to save them from Decadent Hedonism®.
 

Thana

Lady
Wow, I would never raise a kid like that woman. A bit overboard me thinks.

What if we told kids that sex was for pleasure?
Hmm, I don't know. But in a way, It's promoting sex. And I won't do that to young kids.
 

Nymphs

Well-Known Member
Wow, I would never raise a kid like that woman. A bit overboard me thinks.


Serious?

What if we told kids that sex was for pleasure?
Hmm, I don't know. But in a way, It's promoting sex. And I won't do that to young kids.

Don't you think it would be a healthier ideal? I was never told sex was for pleasure and it screwed me up plenty when it was pleasurable.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
They would assume their parents to be attracted to each other.

Can't have that. Or something.
 

Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
Then we'd be lying to them. What sex is "about" for people depends on the person. It's... you know... a very personal thing?
 

Thana

Lady

Yeah, She doesn't have a kid anymore she has a little adult.
Gotta let kids be kids, I think it's extremely unhealthy to treat them like adults.
Growing up too fast makes you bitter.

Don't you think it would be a healthier ideal? I was never told sex was for pleasure and it screwed me up plenty when it was pleasurable.

Well.. not really. If you talk about how great it is, How can you expect them to wait?

How can it screw you up to learn sex is pleasurable? I mean, wouldn't it be more like eating a cookie you expected to be mediocre and then finding out it was awesome? Just simply a nice suprise?
 

kashmir

Well-Known Member
Ummm, is it just me or should we even be discussing sex with children?

I know I am in a class of all my own, but when I make love to a woman, my mind is
on making her happy.

IDK, "pleasure" doesn't seem to be the right word for sex.
Pleasure works for masturbation, not sex.
Probably why I call it making love.
I don't really believe pleasure is the main reason we have sex either.

To me it's like saying we eat food mainly for its taste.
 

Nymphs

Well-Known Member
Yeah, She doesn't have a kid anymore she has a little adult.

How so?

Gotta let kids be kids, I think it's extremely unhealthy for them to treat them like adults.

Talking about sex is unhealthy?

Growing up too fast makes you bitter.

Depends what kind of growing up it is.

Well.. not really. If you talk about how great it is, How can you expect them to wait?

Plenty of people wait.

How can it screw you up to learn sex is pleasurable? I mean, wouldn't it be more like eating a cookie you expected to be mediocre and then finding out it was awesome? Just simply a nice suprise?

You've obviously never been in a conservative and controlling religion. I was told that sex was for procreation, women don't have orgasms and that anything other than the prescribed kind (missionary, no oral, no anal, etc.) was a sin in the eyes of god. So, when I started having orgasms and enjoying it I felt like I was sinning and was going to go to hell. The shame, the guilt, the brainwashing took years to get over. But even now I still have issues with sex. I wish someone would have told me it was okay to masterbate and feel pleasure, maybe my psyche wouldn't have been screwed up.
 

Nymphs

Well-Known Member
Ummm, is it just me or should we even be discussing sex with children?

They need to know at one point. How else are they going to understand what happens?

I know I am in a class of all my own, but when I make love to a woman, my

IDK, "pleasure" doesn't seem to be the right word for sex.
Pleasure works for masturbation, not sex.

Pleasure, ecstasy, love, *******, all of it describes sex. What kind of sex are you having? :confused::confused:

Probably why I call it making love.
I don't really believe pleasure is the main reason we have sex either.

To me it's like saying we eat food mainly for its taste.

I do. It nourishes my body, but I eat food for its taste.
 

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
I think that kids these days already know that. How can they escape it? Sex is advertised everywhere.

From a very young age I knew that sex was supposed to be pleasurable and exciting. I also knew that it has a function in reproduction. I wasn't naive. And when I say young I mean maybe from the age of 6/7.

I don't think that promoting sex to our small children is a good idea. But allowing them to know that sex is healthy and pleasurable (maybe add in a loving relationship between adults) shouldn't be a bad thing. It's just the truth.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
I think it would depend to some extent on how dogmatic you were with the kid about it. It's one thing to say, "Sex is about a lot of things, including pleasure." It's another thing to make it a rigid rule that it's about pleasure, and maybe nothing else. You can kill the fun of anything by being too dogmatic about it.
 

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
I would like to add that talking about sex in a responsible way to your own children is not unhealthy. Kids are naturally inquisitive and will want to know. They find out most of these things from other kids. I'd like to be the one to answer those questions to my children.
 

Thana

Lady

Because she tells him everything.

Talking about sex is unhealthy?

Talking about everything is unhealthy.

Plenty of people wait.

True.
But is it because someone explained sex to them fully or because they left them in the dark? Or is it another factor entirely?

You've obviously never been in a conservative and controlling religion. I was told that sex was for procreation, women don't have orgasms and that anything other than the prescribed kind (missionary, no oral, no anal, etc.) was a sin in the eyes of god. So, when I started having orgasms and enjoying it I felt like I was sinning and was going to go to hell. The shame, the guilt, the brainwashing took years to get over. But even now I still have issues with sex. I wish someone would have told me it was okay to masterbate and feel pleasure, maybe my psyche wouldn't have been screwed up.

No, I haven't.

That sounds so awful, I'm really sorry that happened to you and now I see how it would stuff you up. Fair enough.

But that's not really just telling your kids sex is not pleasureable, That's telling your kids a lot of religious bull to scare them straight, so to speak.
 

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
I think it would depend to some extent on how dogmatic you were with the kid about it. It's one thing to say, "Sex is about a lot of things, including pleasure." It's another thing to make it a rigid rule that it's about pleasure, and maybe nothing else. You can kill the fun of anything by being too dogmatic about it.

Yes, absolutely.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
I think that kids these days already know that. How can they escape it? Sex is advertised everywhere.

Not quite. I know plenty of people who just won't talk openly about those things. That is quite unfortunate, too.


From a very young age I knew that sex was supposed to be pleasurable and exciting. I also knew that it has a function in reproduction. I wasn't naive. And when I say young I mean maybe from the age of 6/7.

I don't think that promoting sex to our small children is a good idea. But allowing them to know that sex is healthy and pleasurable (maybe add in a loving relationship between adults) shouldn't be a bad thing. It's just the truth.


Alas, that is not always the case. It truly should be, but it is not.
 

Madhuri

RF Goddess
Staff member
Premium Member
Perhaps what we can all agree on is that a balanced approach is the best.
 

Nymphs

Well-Known Member
I think that kids these days already know that. How can they escape it? Sex is advertised everywhere.

Perhaps. I didn't.

And sex versus loving sex is a little different.

From a very young age I knew that sex was supposed to be pleasurable and exciting. I also knew that it has a function in reproduction. I wasn't naive. And when I say young I mean maybe from the age of 6/7.

You are very lucky then. Very, very lucky. I know so many people that didn't have that experience as well.

I don't think that promoting sex to our small children is a good idea. But allowing them to know that sex is healthy and pleasurable (maybe add in a loving relationship between adults) shouldn't be a bad thing. It's just the truth.

Small children? What do you consider, "small?"
 

Nymphs

Well-Known Member
Because she tells him everything.

And that makes a kid "grow up"?

Talking about everything is unhealthy.

How so?

But is it because someone explained sex to them fully or because they left them in the dark? Or is it another factor entirely?

Depends on the person.

No, I haven't.

That sounds so awful, I'm really sorry that happened to you and now I see how it would stuff you up. Fair enough.

But that's not really just telling your kids sex is not pleasureable, That's telling your kids a lot of religious bull to scare them straight, so to speak.

Thank you, but it was taught in my religion (not doctrine, but culturally) that sex isn't supposed to be pleasure, but for procreation. Most women I know were taught that, some men too.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
Part of the challenge is that (in my experience) quite often the parents themselves lack a fully mature and resolved approach to their own sexuality.

They can hardly teach that what they never learned themselves.
 
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