For some reason, this is so very helpful for me to read right now...thank you!
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What is friendship?
- Thread starter Deidre
- Start date
Gambit
Well-Known Member
I've never cared for that phrase (the English proverb version) but the more I think about it, it might be that true friends will ask you for help, over not asking. Idk though...if someone ONLY contacts me when he/she is in need, is that really a friend? lol Sounds like a user.
@psychoslice - I hear you, and I normally don't 'think about it' much, if the friendship is truly reciprocal and mutually 'rewarding.' But, when I'm feeling used in some way, is when I pause and question if such a person 'belongs' in my life or not. Then, there is the Christian part of me that suggests to 'turn the other cheek.' Maybe there is virtue in turning the other cheek, if someone wrongs us.
Hmm... this does give the meaning too, but I have this strange feeling that something is off here. Well, we tried
The actual saying is 'a friend in need...is a friend, indeed.' And it is one that seems to imply that one should feel appreciative if someone is using you? lol (I know it can't mean that, can it?)Hmm... this does give the meaning too, but I have this strange feeling that something is off here. Well, we tried
I've never cared for that phrase (the English proverb version) but the more I think about it, it might be that true friends will ask you for help, over not asking. Idk though...if someone ONLY contacts me when he/she is in need, is that really a friend? lol Sounds like a user.
I actually think this makes sense. I do notice that some people refuse to ask those who they haven't met for some time for help.
The actual saying is 'a friend in need...is a friend, indeed.' And it is one that seems to imply that one should feel appreciative if someone is using you? lol (I know it can't mean that, can it?)
I have absolutely no idea
Jonathan Ainsley Bain
Logical Positivist
There is a certain type of friend that is there when you need them to help you,
and this gives them a feeling that makes them happy, but when they need your help
then it is always received with spitefulness and resentment.
and this gives them a feeling that makes them happy, but when they need your help
then it is always received with spitefulness and resentment.
That's curious, what do you make of it?
If I had to guess, it is a form of insecurity. Most people are defined to a large extent by their social roles and can't feel very confortable when taken away from those.
Jonathan Ainsley Bain
Logical Positivist
I was hoping you could tell me.
lol Okay.
Maybe they just don't like needing people? They feel ''empowered'' when helping others, and angry/resentful when they themselves need help. I have a few friends who never ask anyone, even their family for help...as they see it as 'weakness.'
Jonathan Ainsley Bain
Logical Positivist
I suppose lots of people don't like asking for help, for fear of being rejected, and thus feeling even more helpless and weak.
But that is quite different from the mindset personified by the phrase 'give them your arm and they'll take you leg too'.
Out here in Africa, I often encounter people who would rather steal $5 than earn $50.
There is this feeling that even fair trade is a weakness.
Its like they will only feel happy if their living falls out of the sky like manner from heaven.
Perhaps its all a consequence of how some people feel that if you do work for them then
they attempt to control every aspect of your life. - This appears a very western notion.
Yes, corporate America is very much like that, but we teach people how to treat us. If I were to work for a firm that makes me feel like they own me, then that is a red flag for me to begin looking elsewhere for work. It is interesting that in Africa, you have encountered people who would rather steal $5 than earn $50, but sadly...that is the case with some people in the US. Many feel that society owes them something. In a friendship, if people are hesitant to accept help from others, it makes me wonder if when they offer help, if it's from a true altruistic place. Idk?
A friend who turns to you for assistance in their time of need is someone who views you as a true friend, as someone who CAN be turned to...
????
Maybe someone already said that in this thread and I just got confused...
????
Maybe someone already said that in this thread and I just got confused...
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Interesting thread!
I have a few close friends - some from school 4o years ago! A true friend is there for the hard-times as well as the good-times!
I like this quote -
"But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort--the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person--having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
Dinah Maria Mulock Craik
Here's to friendship!
I have a few close friends - some from school 4o years ago! A true friend is there for the hard-times as well as the good-times!
I like this quote -
"But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort--the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person--having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
Dinah Maria Mulock Craik
Here's to friendship!
Geoff-Allen
Resident megalomaniac
Found a few more quotes -
http://www.yogananda.com.au/gurus/yoganandaquotes07b.html
For some reason, I like the suggestion 2 seek out friends from previous lives
Namaste
http://www.yogananda.com.au/gurus/yoganandaquotes07b.html
For some reason, I like the suggestion 2 seek out friends from previous lives
Namaste
But if that's the only time he/she turns to you...is that a true friendship?
Dunno...just a different interpretation of the phrasing. But personally, if I'm really in need, I'm going to turn to one of my closest friends for help rather than an acquaintance. But that certainly isn't the only time I turn to my friends, either...