What was the worst year of your life?

[Aupmanyav]

71/74. No Job, wife and daughter. Father supported me. My wife stood by me.

I'd have to say 2017-2018. I've lost a lot of people from my life this past year. A lot of deaths.

Sorry to hear that.

 

[PureX]

1993 - January - the last month of a 20 year run as an active alcoholic; I hit "bottom" by the 3rd week. The rest of '93 was my first year sober and I was completely miserable throughout. My girlfriend wanted nothing to do with me, my dog died, my friends all still drank and so had to be avoided, and I had no idea how to be happy, or even that I ever would be. It really took me two years to get past that and to begin learning how to live life as a sober man.

 

[ChristineM]

1993 - January - the last month of a 20 year run as an active alcoholic; I hit "bottom" by the 3rd week. The rest of '93 was my first year sober and I was completely miserable throughout. My girlfriend wanted nothing to do with me, my dog died, my friends all still drank and so had to be avoided, and I had no idea how to be happy, or even that I ever would be. It really took me two years to get past that and to begin learning how to live life as a sober man.

Well done

 

[Twilight Hue]

For me, that would be last year, 2017; man, what an awful year that was.

What year was the worst for you, guys?

Same here. Onset of type 2 diabetes and a heart attack not long after.

I'd rather forget 2017.

 

[suncowiam]

How sudden or gradual was the transition?

Over years... At first, it was a struggle as I was easily prone to fear, frustration, and anger. It's the typical flight or fight response especially in social settings. I never knew the root cause of it so I was never able to correct it. With therapy, I learned that it was a little voice in the back in my head that was the source of my self esteem. Freud would probably it consider it the ego. The voice was like an overly protective parent. Over time, I learned to better isolate that voice and correct it with a more optimistic and realistic view. Now, the voice instinctively is positive instead of negative. I still have to deal with fear, anger and frustration, but my conscious is quick and strong enough to correctly filter my reality from my perception...

 

[Audie]

2007 for me.

Lost my innocence, my boyfriend, my year of grad school,
and very nearly my life.

A long hard road back to even a semblance of "normal".

Things are good for me now, though I am a very changed person.

One thing I learned was to always remember, you never know
what dangers, horrors, injury another may have faced.

 

[Audie]

Over years... At first, it was a struggle as I was easily prone to fear, frustration, and anger. It's the typical flight or fight response especially in social settings. I never knew the root cause of it so I was never able to correct it. With therapy, I learned that it was a little voice in the back in my head that was the source of my self esteem. Freud would probably it consider it the ego. The voice was like an overly protective parent. Over time, I learned to better isolate that voice and correct it with a more optimistic and realistic view. Now, the voice instinctively is positive instead of negative. I still have to deal with fear, anger and frustration, but my conscious is quick and strong enough to correctly filter my reality from my perception...

I know well the whole thing of being on edge of panic,
fight or flee. It just drains you, there is nothing left
for anyone or anything else.

 

[Sunstone]

Lost my innocence...

What kind of innocence? If you're talking about non-sexual innocence, could you please elaborate?

 

[Sunstone]

Over years... At first, it was a struggle as I was easily prone to fear, frustration, and anger. It's the typical flight or fight response especially in social settings. I never knew the root cause of it so I was never able to correct it. With therapy, I learned that it was a little voice in the back in my head that was the source of my self esteem. Freud would probably it consider it the ego. The voice was like an overly protective parent. Over time, I learned to better isolate that voice and correct it with a more optimistic and realistic view. Now, the voice instinctively is positive instead of negative. I still have to deal with fear, anger and frustration, but my conscious is quick and strong enough to correctly filter my reality from my perception...

Beautifully, concisely stated. Thank you!

 

[Audie]

What kind of innocence? If you're talking about non-sexual innocence, could you please elaborate?

I mean like it was, I was saving myself for marriage.

 

[Sunstone]

...though I am a very changed person.

May I ask what are the three biggest ways you've changed as a person?

 

[Sunstone]

I mean like it was, I was saving myself for marriage.

I confess, I've never understood why so many of my friends over the years have wanted to save themselves for marriage. But I do understand it's something a lot of people want, and I've no quarrel with it.

 

[suncowiam]

I know well the whole thing of being on edge of panic,
fight or flee. It just drains you, there is nothing left
for anyone or anything else.

It does drain you. I was experiencing axiety and minor panic attacks. It was just so bad that I just had to find help. Coming from a immigrant family, we didn't really talk about our issues so it was taboo to go see a therapist. That was the best thing I ever did in my life.

 

[Sunstone]

With therapy, I learned that it was a little voice in the back in my head that was the source of my self esteem.

My older brother went to a therapist and became aware of those "negative scripts" running in his head, too. The improvement in how he was able to deal with both himself and others was impressive.

 

[suncowiam]

My older brother went to a therapist and became aware of those "negative scripts" running in his head, too. The improvement in how he was able to deal with both himself and others was impressive.

I'm very happy to hear that.

 

[Audie]

I confess, I've never understood why so many of my friends over the years have wanted to save themselves for marriage. But I do understand it's something a lot of people want, and I've no quarrel with it.

Just following what Mom said, about her own regrets.

 

[Audie]

May I ask what are the three biggest ways you've changed as a person?

Hmm. I have to think about that! There is surface, there's who I am deep
inside, there's what is work in process.

Think very sheltered very ( very very) structured life torn apart, and PTSD.

I kind of lost track of how i used to think and see things.

What is important now is that my life is successful and stable,
and, I have the devotion of a very kind and loving boyfriend.

Here is a change: life is not just about me.

 

[Sunstone]

Just following what Mom said, about her own regrets.

I see. I never got much advice from my mom in that area. She was a wonderfully wise person, but she almost never offered unsolicited advice, and I almost never solicited her advice in that area. Both my brothers did, though, and benefited from what she was able to tell them.

 

[Sunstone]

Here is a change: life is not just about me.

How beautiful!

 

[Audie]

I see. I never got much advice from my mom in that area. She was a wonderfully wise person, but she almost never offered unsolicited advice, and I almost never solicited her advice in that area. Both my brothers did, though, and benefited from what she was able to tell them.

Try an Asian "tiger mom" and see if you get advice!
Though, it is a lot more like "Thou shalt / shalt not."
than "advice" per se!