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What's the Hidden Secret in *Your* Religion?
- Thread starter Feathers in Hair
- Start date
Comprehend
Res Ipsa Loquitur
I know about 30 LDS people have already posted but I'm a person too dang it!
secrets of the LDS
1. We like driving mini-vans
2. Inside the temple there is nothing but ping pong tables as far as the eye can see.
3. Mitt Romney is our Manchurian Candidate.
4. Elizabeth Smart was just a big practical joke on the country. We knew where she was the whole time. ha ha.
5. We were given the technology for the television, traffic lights and CD's from Will Smith.
6. When we collect people's geneology we also get the social security numbers. Then we secretly deduct pennies out of millions of peoples bank accounts every day without them knowing it. I get a check every first tuesday of the month. THANKS SUCKERS! (and you thought mormons were just well educated and worked hard!)
7. Our missionaries really aren't out to convert anyone. We are trying to find a good place to ditch Donny and Marie Osmond.
8. and the biggie. yes, secretly.... we are all masonic devil worshipping little baby duck killers. And we hate to recycle too.
secrets of the LDS
1. We like driving mini-vans
2. Inside the temple there is nothing but ping pong tables as far as the eye can see.
3. Mitt Romney is our Manchurian Candidate.
4. Elizabeth Smart was just a big practical joke on the country. We knew where she was the whole time. ha ha.
5. We were given the technology for the television, traffic lights and CD's from Will Smith.
6. When we collect people's geneology we also get the social security numbers. Then we secretly deduct pennies out of millions of peoples bank accounts every day without them knowing it. I get a check every first tuesday of the month. THANKS SUCKERS! (and you thought mormons were just well educated and worked hard!)
7. Our missionaries really aren't out to convert anyone. We are trying to find a good place to ditch Donny and Marie Osmond.
8. and the biggie. yes, secretly.... we are all masonic devil worshipping little baby duck killers. And we hate to recycle too.
Feathers in Hair
World's Tallest Hobbit
Nooooo! *tries to hide the duckies*
Comprehend
Res Ipsa Loquitur
Booko said:
UH...
*clears throat; wipes sweat*
I uh, mean, baby buck thrillers. yes, that's right. baby bucks. mmm. hmm. little tiny deer.... we thrill them...
yep...
no fowl play here...
*thump*
*quack!!!*
*thump thump thump*
kiwimac
Brother Napalm of God's Love
Dang and I thought WE were getting the Secret Death Camps Franchise (tm)
Oh well, just have to corner the market on Flame Grilled Baby Duck ...... er..... that is to say, Flame grilled Baka Nuts. <wipes forehead, looks around to see if anyone noticed.>
Kiwimac
Oh well, just have to corner the market on Flame Grilled Baby Duck ...... er..... that is to say, Flame grilled Baka Nuts. <wipes forehead, looks around to see if anyone noticed.>
Kiwimac
eudaimonia
Fellowship of Reason
Feathers in Hair said:
The Flying Spaghetti Monster... is real. :fsm: :thud:
Shocking, I know. I didn't see that one coming.
eudaimonia,
Mark
P.S. Nah, the hidden secret (or maybe not so hidden secret -- hey, I'm revealing this to you now) is that even though Eudaimonists are philosophically influenced by Ayn Rand's Objectivism, we are friendly and have a sense of humor.
PHOTOTAKER
Well-Known Member
painted wolf
Grey Muzzle
secrets of my religion... I tell you but then I'd have to kill you. 
erm... anyway how's this one.
we plan to build casinos in every town and then when we have all your money, we are going to buy a REALY REALY big box of beads.
mmm...beads
we also want to take over New York and Florida and kick everyone out.
wa:do
erm... anyway how's this one.
we plan to build casinos in every town and then when we have all your money, we are going to buy a REALY REALY big box of beads.
mmm...beads
we also want to take over New York and Florida and kick everyone out.
wa:do
athanasius
Well-Known Member
Feathers in Hair said:
What's the Hidden Secret in *Your* Religion?
As a high ranking member of the religion with acess to all documents. We are secretly planning to convert the entire world! By hypnotism and if that doesn't work than by the Sword! Our plan is to swindle all the money out of everyone worldwide and use it to boost Republican war efforts and the bush Administration. We are the religious right wing conspiracy! Beware! Be very Very aware.Hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahhhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone ready for the crusades part II! LOL! I am :drool:
athanasius
Well-Known Member
Arabis said:
Green Jello; I loved that rock group in the 90's. They sang that three little pigs song! Awesome!
Comprehend
Res Ipsa Loquitur
Booko said:Would that be green jello with or without shredded carrots?
LOL. I can't emphasize how disgusting it is to see all the junk mormons put into jello. I am sure it all began as some twisted one-upmanship thing going on in relief society. Oh, sister so and so made jello too? well mine has chunks of barbecued pork so la te da!
PUKE.
