When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?

[Meow Mix]

I've always said if I have sex, I'd better like the fellow- after all, there is a chance of pregnancy and protection is never 100%. Even if you don't marry the guy, if you have the baby, you will have to deal with the person for at least 18 years or so.
And a woman can get pregnant even if the man doesn't ejaculate- the chances aren't as good but it can still happen. I've talked to a few girls who said this happened to them.

While it's true that even barrier protection isn't 100%, this is about intent, not risk.

If there was an agreed upon risk (such as the pulling out method, which yes, is stupid, but still it can be agreed upon presumably) which was then abandoned by one party, that constitutes an attack since something is being done to someone else's body without their consent.

 

[Meow Mix]

Why is it less risky to have unprotected sex with someone you know than with a total stranger? Unprotected sex is unprotected sex.

Edited to add: I was engaged to a man for four years, who I had known for seven years previously, who was banging both men and women the entire time I knew him - often without protection - and lying about it to everyone, including his closest friends. Me, I'm an unrepentant, very experienced ****, so we always used protection, thank my stars.

Why won't it let me frubal you forever and for all time, now and always?

 

[Me Myself]

Why is it less risky to have unprotected sex with someone you know than with a total stranger? Unprotected sex is unprotected sex.

Edited to add: I was engaged to a man for four years, who I had known for seven years previously, who was banging both men and women the entire time I knew him - often without protection - and lying about it to everyone, including his closest friends. Me, I'm an unrepentant, very experienced ****, so we always used protection, thank my stars.

Because your case is a extremely rare one.

Obviously you know more of someone you know of some time than of a complete stranger. Like even with condom you can get a disease, so why ever have sex?

There are degrees of risk.

 

[Alceste]

Why won't it let me frubal you forever and for all time, now and always?

I'll just take it as a given.

 

[Alceste]

Because your case is a extremely rare one.

Obviously you know more of someone you know of some time than of a complete stranger. Like even with condom you can get a disease, so why ever have sex?

There are degrees of risk.

Knowing someone does not prevent disease. The idea is a very silly one. Deluding yourself that having strong feelings or a long history with someone can magically make them a disease-free sex partner is as stupid as sex with a stranger, imo.

I know a guy who got herpes from his wife, who claimed she got it from a towel (yeah, right).

 

[Me Myself]

Knowing someone does not prevent disease. The idea is a very silly one. Deluding yourself that having strong feelings or a long history with someone can magically make them a disease-free sex partner is as stupid as sex with a stranger, imo.

I know a guy who got herpes from his wife, who claimed she got it from a towel (yeah, right).

I never said that,

I said you are more likely to know something about the sexual history of your friends than that of a complete stranger.

In any case I dont find the differentiaiton horribly iportant. In general stranger or not is just a needless risk.

 

[methylatedghosts]

So a whiles ago, some time last year, I picked up some guy at a bar in town. Or rather, he picked me up. We went to his place, got pretty hot and heavy. At one point, he started to get rough - more so than I like, so I asked him to stop. Then I told him to stop. Then I made it abundantly clear that it would be in his best interests to stop then and there. That was three times. When he still was trying to continue, I threw him a punch to the face. Of course, at this point I was angry, so I threw everything I had into it, and he stopped alright. He stopped so completely that he ended up on the floor, and lay quite still. Checked breathing, and I left.

Point here is, that there must be some leeway in terms of communicating the desire to discontinue with proceedings. Surely, had I hit him without saying anything I would be up for assault.And perhaps he didn't hear the first time. The second time I said anything was clear enough, and would have been the appropriate point to stop.

Happy end to the story is that I didn't get raped, and I got the chance to help someone see the error of his ways - to see the...lights as it were.

 

[dust1n]

Assuming that people you know don't have STD's got a lot of people I know STD's.

 

[Me Myself]

So a whiles ago, some time last year, I picked up some guy at a bar in town. Or rather, he picked me up. We went to his place, got pretty hot and heavy. At one point, he started to get rough - more so than I like, so I asked him to stop. Then I told him to stop. Then I made it abundantly clear that it would be in his best interests to stop then and there. That was three times. When he still was trying to continue, I threw him a punch to the face. Of course, at this point I was angry, so I threw everything I had into it, and he stopped alright. He stopped so completely that he ended up on the floor, and lay quite still. Checked breathing, and I left.

Point here is, that there must be some leeway in terms of communicating the desire to discontinue with proceedings. Surely, had I hit him without saying anything I would be up for assault.And perhaps he didn't hear the first time. The second time I said anything was clear enough, and would have been the appropriate point to stop.

Happy end to the story is that I didn't get raped, and I got the chance to help someone see the error of his ways - to see the...lights as it were.

Well done

Thank God you could get out without bigger problems after the punches.

 

[Alceste]

Assuming that people you know don't have STD's got a lot of people I know STD's.

Exactly.

 

[dust1n]

Exactly.

Indeedy. As nice as it is to think that we are somehow exempt from statistical variation and social problems in general, it probably isn't so truthful.

 

[Alceste]

Indeedy. As nice as it is to think that we are somehow exempt from statistical variation and social problems in general, it probably isn't so truthful.

Yeah. Moral of the story is, wrap it up. And don't rape anybody.

 

[dust1n]

Yeah. Moral of the story is, wrap it up. And don't rape anybody.

Indeed. I mean... I'm not the perfect example of my own advice (no, not about the raping anybody), but it is highly recommended that... you know... kinda, get to know someone really well before assuming that they don't have an STD.

 

[Me Myself]

Indeedy. As nice as it is to think that we are somehow exempt from statistical variation and social problems in general, it probably isn't so truthful.

As simple stadistical manner, strangers that agree to have sex with you without condom are higher isk of disease than people you know better that have in general a less active sex life or, at least, dont have sex with strangers without a condom.

Dats all I am saying.

 

[WyattDerp]

As simple stadistical manner, strangers that agree to have sex with you without condom are higher isk of disease than people you know better that have in general a less active sex life or, at least, dont have sex with strangers without a condom.

"Less" is way, way more than "Little enough".

Random googled thingy: Nicholas Lamar Parker--Research

Consider the example provided on the TeensHealth Web Site: Judy is a college student. Judy regularly has sex with Thomas and Gary—never at the same time though. Because she does not sleep with anyone else, and she is on the pill, they never use condoms. Thomas has two partners besides Judy. Gary only engages in sexual activity with Judy on a regular basis, but will sometimes sleep with a stranger or friend on the weekends. He uses condoms 50 % of the time.

Now, in calculating Judy’s risk for becoming infected with an STD, you have to factor in not only Thomas and Gary, but also all of their partners. Then, factor in all of the people that Thomas and Gary’s partners have slept with. Now, their partner’s partners. The list compounds, multiplies and explodes, and the risk become staggering.

What's so horribly bad about both getting tested when going steady? Just as a matter of fact, like you would hold open a door for another person? "Let's get tested!" could be quite the romantic ad campaign, too, with hand holding and all that. The people making the tests would be thrilled as well, I'm sure. And for once, I would have no beef with that... get filthy rich through people getting hooked on monthly STD tests, knock yourself out!

Can we stop repeating basically this: Ignaz Semmelweis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Some doctors, for instance, were offended at the suggestion that they should wash their hands, feeling that their social status as gentlemen was inconsistent with the idea that their hands could be unclean.

?

 

[Alceste]

I have regularly been tested going into a steady relationship and my partners have done the same. It's just the responsible thing to do if you're going to go without condoms for whatever reason. That still doesn't guarantee your partner won't surprise you though.

 

[Alceste]

As simple stadistical manner, strangers that agree to have sex with you without condom are higher isk of disease than people you know better that have in general a less active sex life or, at least, dont have sex with strangers without a condom.

Dats all I am saying.

You're still wrong. You're assuming random hook-ups are having more irresponsible sex with more partners than your friends, which is not necessarily the case.

 

[dust1n]

You're still wrong. You're assuming random hook-ups are having more irresponsible sex with more partners than your friends, which is not necessarily the case.

The opposite is true is plenty of cases.

 

[Alceste]

The opposite is true is plenty of cases.

Exactly.

 

[Me Myself]

You're still wrong. You're assuming random hook-ups are having more irresponsible sex with more partners than your friends, which is not necessarily the case.

If I have sex with someone that has nio problem having isex with me without a condom eventhough iwe just met, I have no reason to believe I am the first person with whom she does that.

If I have sex with a friend that I know have had sex with three other people, the risks of her being a carrier are just lower. Thats it.