When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?

[Draka]

Well, yes they can withdraw that consent anytime they want but as to whether or not it will be honoured is an entirely different story. Sexual intercourse isn't child's play where you say "you can get in now, nope get out, no, get in, no out"etc. That's just childish and immature and defeats the whole purpose of love-making.

I thought the purpose of "love-making" was to pleasure and (ideally in a relationship) show your deepest love for your partner in a deeply emotional and physical way. To not honor your partner's wish to stop having sex, no matter what their reason, would not be pleasuring them anymore, but be causing them grief. I would seriously have to wonder what you consider to be the purpose of "love-making" that would disregard the feelings and physical pain of one of the participants.

 

[Willamena]

Anyone who doesn't see this as a rhetorical question isn't emotionally mature enough to be having sex.

Rhetorical? or self-evident?

 

[ChristineES]

Does a person have a right to change his or her consent to sex after penetration, but before orgasm? That is, if a person gives his or her consent to sex, can he or she withdraw that consent after penetration, but before orgasm?

I suppose you could stop them before orgasm, but it wouldn't make you very popular. Just kidding.

 

[ChristineES]

I thought the purpose of "love-making" was to pleasure and (ideally in a relationship) show your deepest love for your partner in a deeply emotional and physical way. To not honor your partner's wish to stop having sex, no matter what their reason, would not be pleasuring them anymore, but be causing them grief. I would seriously have to wonder what you consider to be the purpose of "love-making" that would disregard the feelings and physical pain of one of the participants.

I had to ask to stop the first time- it was incredibly painful. He stopped right away.

 

[Skwim]

I thought the purpose of "love-making" was to pleasure and (ideally in a relationship) show your deepest love for your partner in a deeply emotional and physical way.

Errr. Sexual intercourse doesn't always occur under cupid's arch of love, which is why using "love making" and "making love" as euphemisms for it is rather silly. If using the word "sex" or the term "sexual intercourse" is too embarrassing, I suggest the word "coitus."

"Coitus
​

(kō'ĭ-təs, kō-ē'-)
n.
Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina."​

 

[ron4711]

I suppose you could stop them before orgasm, but it wouldn't make you very popular. Just kidding.

Yeah, that was an old girlfriend of mine. When she was done, her opinion was that we were done. So I decided that, yes, we were done.

 

[Me Myself]

Errr. Sexual intercourse doesn't always occur under cupid's arch of love, which is why using "love making" and "making love" as euphemisms for it is rather silly. If using the word "sex" or the term "sexual intercourse" is too embarrassing, I suggest the word "coitus."

"Coitus
​

(kō'ĭ-təs, kō-ē'-)
n.
Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina."​

Another Sheldon fan?

I use sex, coitus or sexual relationships.

 

[Alceste]

Nobody should ever be doing anything to anyone against their will, except to secure public safety.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Exactly, if someone says "I don't like that" or "I'm not comfortable with this" then any further forced activity is rape.

I agree with this. Some people may not say a straight up 'no' there are other ways of saying 'no.'

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I would second this. While ethically, a person may consider such rape (and I would agree), legally, it would be a hard sell. Even rape within a marriage often is not treated like rape in a legal matter.

thanks for reminding us that legally we are still chattel in marriage in many places. Don't you think that should change?

 

[Kerr]

Does a person have a right to change his or her consent to sex after penetration, but before orgasm? That is, if a person gives his or her consent to sex, can he or she withdraw that consent after penetration, but before orgasm?

Of course. The penetrator might be a bit disappointed, though .

 

[Kerr]

Well, yes they can withdraw that consent anytime they want but as to whether or not it will be honoured is an entirely different story. Sexual intercourse isn't child's play where you say "you can get in now, nope get out, no, get in, no out"etc. That's just childish and immature and defeats the whole purpose of love-making.

Any man who cant stop doesnt deserve sex.

 

[fallingblood]

thanks for reminding us that legally we are still chattel in marriage in many places. Don't you think that should change?

I definitely think that it should change. However, to change the law public opinion also has to change. Which means that it has to be recognized that men also suffer from this ridiculous law.

 

[Alceste]

Any man who cant stop doesnt deserve sex.

I completely disbelieve that there are any men who "can't stop".

 

[Kerr]

I completely disbelieve that there are any men who "can't stop".

Any man who wont stop doesnt deserve sex. Better ?

 

[Alceste]

Any man who wont stop doesnt deserve sex. Better ?

Yeah! I agree. Also, any woman who won't stop.

 

[Skwim]

Any man who cant stop doesnt deserve sex.

Interesting that you feel a male has to earn the privilege of having sex with a woman, i. e., be deserving of it. I know no male would look at a woman and say "Nope, she doesn't deserve to have sex with me. She hasn't earned the right." Personally, I think most women approach sexual intercourse as a mutually fulfilling interaction.

 

[WyattDerp]

Nobody should ever be doing anything to anyone against their will, except to secure public safety.

"Excuse me, can I please check these bags for bombs?"

:slap:

 

[Alceste]

"Excuse me, can I please check these bags for bombs?"

:slap:

Er... "except to secure public safety". Yeah?

 

[ron4711]

Interesting that you feel a male has to earn the privilege of having sex with a woman, i. e., be deserving of it. I know no male would look at a woman and say "Nope, she doesn't deserve to have sex with me. She hasn't earned the right." Personally, I think most women approach sexual intercourse as a mutually fulfilling interaction.

This isn't about how you chose your partner and whether you got permission to begin. It is about asking the other person to stop once the act has begun. As a male, I have asked to stop when something got painful and she did. But there are many other reasons to stop. It has nothing to do with your partner not deserving to have sex with you. It means that for whatever reason they want to stop having sex with you. Whether it be for a minute or for ever, you need to honor that request.