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When did you realize you were....
- Thread starter Nymphs
- Start date
Kind of "other."
I'm a man, and I'm sexually attracted to women but not to men. I also strongly relate to women far more than I relate to men, though not to the degree of being a woman in a man's body.
Therefore, about a month ago, I realized a term that I could call myself: a male lesbian.
I'm a man, and I'm sexually attracted to women but not to men. I also strongly relate to women far more than I relate to men, though not to the degree of being a woman in a man's body.
Therefore, about a month ago, I realized a term that I could call myself: a male lesbian.
I didn't know the concept of hetero, bi, homo etc. until I was round 10 years old. But since I was 5yrs old I was having intense crushes on boys. Never once did I feel attracted to or 'in love' with girls. So I guess I realised I'm about as hetero as they come is when I was around 10- when I found out there are other possibilities.
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
Bisexual - In my teens, I realised I was attracted to women too.. I've never been with a woman but I know my attraction is not just admiring their look. I don't know if it's purely sexual or if there's more to it. Well since I'm happily married, I'll never find out!
Not necessarily.
I'm not saying you have to, but that is exactly what I thought when I realized I was bisexual. Fast-forward several years...and well. I know for a fact I'm bisexual.
Nyingjé Tso
Dharma not drama
I think I was sixteen when it just struck me suddenly that the feelings I had for my best friend (female) were waaaay more than just friendly affection/ I caught myself lookingat womens several time and enjoying what I saw.
I had a girlfriend and sexual relationship with her, and to be honest... I wasn't at all disturbed by discovering my bisexuality at all. It was very natural, it didn't trigger any great moral dilemma in me or whatever.
I'm not naturally disturbed by any sexual preferences.. I mean, someone can say to me they are bi, homo, or straight, I just shrug and say "yeah cool", because for me there is no "normal sexuality" (straight) and "anormal sexuality" (bi or homo) which is many people around me think. People are weird.
I had a girlfriend and sexual relationship with her, and to be honest... I wasn't at all disturbed by discovering my bisexuality at all. It was very natural, it didn't trigger any great moral dilemma in me or whatever.
I'm not naturally disturbed by any sexual preferences.. I mean, someone can say to me they are bi, homo, or straight, I just shrug and say "yeah cool", because for me there is no "normal sexuality" (straight) and "anormal sexuality" (bi or homo) which is many people around me think. People are weird.
illykitty
RF's pet cat
Not necessarily.
I'm not saying you have to, but that is exactly what I thought when I realized I was bisexual. Fast-forward several years...and well. I know for a fact I'm bisexual.
Nah not going to happen unless the relationship with my husband ends. I'm fiercely loyal and mono with him. I don't want anyone else.
But I don't see it as a problem. Honestly I don't really care either way.
Hey, good for you that you found out.
Gjallarhorn
N'yog-Sothep
I realized I was bi somewhere in late high school, but I thought I was only a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey Scale...probably more like a 4 lol.
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
Nah not going to happen unless the relationship with my husband ends. I'm fiercely loyal and mono with him. I don't want anyone else.
But I don't see it as a problem. Honestly I don't really care either way.
Hey, good for you that you found out.
Me too.
oldbadger
Skanky Old Mongrel!
Straight........ and Proud!
I was 5yrs old and at primary school. The boys queued to go into school in one line, and the girls in another. There was this girl, and whenever she looked across at the boy's line and caught eye contact with me she would smile, and I felt very very funny all over, and my ears rang inside. I never could keep eye contact and often did silly things like drop my satchel or tread on the toes of the boy behind me, etc. It would be another 9 years before I could actually have a girlfriend, and I still remember the first proper kiss.......... We lived on an island in the Thames Estuary, and so we would row a small dinghy into the tidal ditches (where we could not be seen) to snog...... oh, the magic of those times.....
Yep..... straight.
I was 5yrs old and at primary school. The boys queued to go into school in one line, and the girls in another. There was this girl, and whenever she looked across at the boy's line and caught eye contact with me she would smile, and I felt very very funny all over, and my ears rang inside. I never could keep eye contact and often did silly things like drop my satchel or tread on the toes of the boy behind me, etc. It would be another 9 years before I could actually have a girlfriend, and I still remember the first proper kiss.......... We lived on an island in the Thames Estuary, and so we would row a small dinghy into the tidal ditches (where we could not be seen) to snog...... oh, the magic of those times.....
Yep..... straight.
Transgender isn't a sexual orientation.
Anyway, I identify as a pansexual queer trans man. So I'll talk about both the gender and sexual orientation issues.
I was had crushes on both males and females as a kid. My first crush was on Christina Ricci when she was Wednesday Addams and in Casper. My first crush on a guy was on Freddie Prinze, Jr. I came out as bi when I was 13. But then I went through a period of self-hatred and confusion during my teens and questioned if I was a lesbian or attracted to men at all. This was tied up with my gender dysphoria and strong abhorrence of the idea of being some one's girlfriend and all that the feminine gender role implies in that area. I did try to identify as a lesbian for a short period in high school but that didn't last too long because I never identified with the lesbian community or with any female identity. I also went through a short period of religiously-motivated homophobia and self-hatred over that.
I've dealt with gender dysphoria and viewing myself as a male for as long as I can remember. My dealings with it throughout childhood and much of adolescence were in the form of confusion, self-hatred and shame. I didn't know anything about transgenderism or transsexualism. I wasn't raised around trans people (but I was raised around gay men and lesbians). So I didn't have the language to describe my experiences. I just kept it to myself and felt like a freak. This caused me to develop an extremely active fantasy life in my mind where I could be a male. I kept this all a secret for years.
Eventually, I did start to know more trans people and did more research into it. I finally came to the conclusion that I was a man. I finally gained the language to be able to speak about it with others. That was in my late teens. I first told my mom that I was having "gender issues" when I was about 17. I was still somewhat confused and didn't know what to say at that stage. I was very upset and cried about it. My mom just comforted me and said I'd figure it and not to worry. I was 18 when I finally started identifying as male and 19 when I started openly living as a male. That was in 2008-2009. I finally started testosterone therapy last month.
As to my sexual orientation, I've largely accepted that I am attracted to many different kinds of people and bodies. I am primarily attracted to women (both cis and trans) on an emotional level and I would prefer to have a female partner. I am attracted to men (both cis and trans) but am more cautious about getting involved with men, especially cis men, mostly due to insecurity and not wanting to deal with any disrespect issues that seem to be more prevalent with cis men.
Anyway, I identify as a pansexual queer trans man. So I'll talk about both the gender and sexual orientation issues.
I was had crushes on both males and females as a kid. My first crush was on Christina Ricci when she was Wednesday Addams and in Casper. My first crush on a guy was on Freddie Prinze, Jr. I came out as bi when I was 13. But then I went through a period of self-hatred and confusion during my teens and questioned if I was a lesbian or attracted to men at all. This was tied up with my gender dysphoria and strong abhorrence of the idea of being some one's girlfriend and all that the feminine gender role implies in that area. I did try to identify as a lesbian for a short period in high school but that didn't last too long because I never identified with the lesbian community or with any female identity. I also went through a short period of religiously-motivated homophobia and self-hatred over that.
I've dealt with gender dysphoria and viewing myself as a male for as long as I can remember. My dealings with it throughout childhood and much of adolescence were in the form of confusion, self-hatred and shame. I didn't know anything about transgenderism or transsexualism. I wasn't raised around trans people (but I was raised around gay men and lesbians). So I didn't have the language to describe my experiences. I just kept it to myself and felt like a freak. This caused me to develop an extremely active fantasy life in my mind where I could be a male. I kept this all a secret for years.
Eventually, I did start to know more trans people and did more research into it. I finally came to the conclusion that I was a man. I finally gained the language to be able to speak about it with others. That was in my late teens. I first told my mom that I was having "gender issues" when I was about 17. I was still somewhat confused and didn't know what to say at that stage. I was very upset and cried about it. My mom just comforted me and said I'd figure it and not to worry. I was 18 when I finally started identifying as male and 19 when I started openly living as a male. That was in 2008-2009. I finally started testosterone therapy last month.
As to my sexual orientation, I've largely accepted that I am attracted to many different kinds of people and bodies. I am primarily attracted to women (both cis and trans) on an emotional level and I would prefer to have a female partner. I am attracted to men (both cis and trans) but am more cautious about getting involved with men, especially cis men, mostly due to insecurity and not wanting to deal with any disrespect issues that seem to be more prevalent with cis men.
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Nymphs
Well-Known Member
Transgender isn't a sexual orientation.
I know, I included it because it is part of a realization for many people, I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. :sorry1:
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
Ah. That makes sense.
I'm not sure which poll option to choose.
Whichever you would like!
kashmir
Well-Known Member
Obviously, I pick straight, but to claim it as "realization" is kind of ignorant.
Straight people don't even ponder if they might be gay or Bi.
It's sort of like saying, "when did you realize you were alive?" :sarcastic:
Its pretty much self explanatory.
The better question would be:
"When did you realize that your sensuality was different then most peoples?"
Straight people don't even ponder if they might be gay or Bi.
It's sort of like saying, "when did you realize you were alive?" :sarcastic:
Its pretty much self explanatory.
The better question would be:
"When did you realize that your sensuality was different then most peoples?"
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Nymphs
Well-Known Member
Actually, I know several people who realized that they were straight instead of gay or bi -- a couple on this forum. My husband for instance, realized he was straight when he was about 10 when he realized that he wasn't interested in boys, but in girls. Not everything is as black and white as you make it out to be. Life is full of beautiful shades of grey.
Then make your own thread.
I recall first feeling strongly attracted to women at 12-13, so that was when I realized I was heterosexual/"straight."
Nymphs
Well-Known Member
See, I knew there was another person that realized they were 'straight'.
Thanks for sharing.
LOL You didn't attend the Middle School I went to, clearly.
Besides, I've wondered if I were subconsciously bi or gay every now and then (well, it would be bi at this point. ^_^) It's more common than you'd think.
Well before I had a noticeable sexual orientation, I liked the idea of falling in love with a guy someday. Any show or movie I watched, involved heterosexuals. And then later I became noticeably attracted to guys.
I went through a phase where I thought I might be somewhat asexual, because a lot of aspects of sex grossed me out conceptually. And I went through a realization in my late teens that I also find women to be attractive to a limited extent, though not enough to personally consider myself bi other than a little bit of experimentation.
I went through a phase where I thought I might be somewhat asexual, because a lot of aspects of sex grossed me out conceptually. And I went through a realization in my late teens that I also find women to be attractive to a limited extent, though not enough to personally consider myself bi other than a little bit of experimentation.