Why are people on the internet highly sexual but people out in public aren't ?

[crossfire]

When I was a teen, I used to wear handcuffs as a bracelet, and a chain leash for funsies.

I was completely innocent sexually... and had no idea that anyone would take it as anything sexual. I was(and still am) into the Goth look... they were fun accessories.

I was completely baffled when someone approached me and asked if I was into....

I agree, you can't look at someone at suppose they want to discuss sex with you.

However, if you do cringeworthy things like approaching random strangers to talk about sex, then don't be surprised if you are called a creep. (Which would be justified by that behavior.)

 

[VoidCat]

My vote: they're doing it because of social pressure, not because they're randy.



It's not hypocrisy. They don't want to be left out and feel frumpy. I agree it's distracting. Listen to your buddy, Daniel ( me ). The way to connect with a person whom you find attractive is 3 things and three things only: Fun + Funny + Confidence.

When you're interested in someone. Here's what works: Trust me: smile. That's it, just smile. If they smile back. Good. If not, forget about it.
Now, If they smile, they are probably going to look away. When they do that, you look away too. But. Don't forget to look back. If they look back too, and smile, go for it, my man. Take a deep breath, go up to them, and say "Hi". Confidence. Remember, You're cute, they're cute, this is perfectly natural. Don't rush it. Rushing is not confident. They will probably reject you at first. That's perfectly normal and natural. It doesn't mean they don't like you. It means that they need to process the excitement they're feeling. They need to reflect on how it felt to be liked, and then, they need to feel what it's like to watch you walk away confidently after being rejected. Then they'll wonder: "am I missing out on something?" Bingo. Once they are questioning. You're in. You've got an opportunity. Trust me. This works. Take the rejection with a stride and a smile. No disappointment. You like her, but you don't need her. You got to approach a cute girl and say 'Hi". She smiled at you. No one can take that away from you. If the two of you bump into each other again, or perhaps this is someone you see on a regular basis, don't be afraid to repeat. Smile, does she smile back? If so, she will probably look away too. When that happens, you look away. But don't forget to look back. If she looks back too, and smiles. Bro. That means you can go and say Hi, with confidence and charm.

Ignore what she's wearing, ignore anything which is revealed. Ignore it. Just smile. It's face time. Nothing else.

I'd also say accept a no and dont pressure anyone into saying yes by asking repeatly. A smile is not always a sign of being attracted to someone. What you said can help I agree fun funny and confidence is key but also just it's good to be able to accept a no in general.

@Massimo2002. I write this because I know you have been on an incel forum. Those guys usually can't take no for an answer and scare women. They the folk women make tag groups about on Facebook and post screenshots of awful convos about. "I'm a nice guy." They say then later insult the woman calling her a ***** for saying no. Women dont like that. If you truly want to be with a women being fun, funny and confident can help...but so can being a genuinely good person and actually getting to know women beyond the flesh. I read in another thread you struggle with that. Might be something to work on.

Edit: make a few women as friends. No ulterior motive don't do it for sex. Just interacting as actual friends might help you see women beyond flesh.

 

[VoidCat]

I find this strange and yet no one talks or acknowledges this why ? Are people on the internet highly sexual but yet the people outside never do anything sexual or even talk about sex some women show off there *** and tits but that isn't even that sexual and god forbid you mention it the woman gets offended talk about hypocrisy.

I have a question. Why do you think women are showing their bodies off for men?online or off. I say this as an AFAB person im not a woman but I was assigned one at birth who has had tons of people seen me naked online. I can tell you most those photos werent for men. Most of them were for the fun of it. And because it made me feel good. Not for the men. Sometimes it can be. But most the photos werent for men.

 

[JustGeorge]

I have a question. Why do you think women are showing their bodies off for men?online or off. I say this as an AFAB person im not a woman but I was assigned one at birth who has had tons of people seen me naked online. I can tell you most those photos werent for men. Most of them were for the fun of it. And because it made me feel good. Not for the men. Sometimes it can be. But most the photos werent for men.

I also hate the assumption that if something is partially revealed, folks(both men and women, really) assuming you're intending to 'show off'.

Some of us are cut in ways that make it hard to conceal.

And sometimes its just really stinking hot out.

 

[VoidCat]

I also hate the assumption that if something is partially revealed, folks(both men and women, really) assuming you're intending to 'show off'.

Some of us are cut in ways that make it hard to conceal.

And sometimes its just really stinking hot out.

Even if you showing off sometimes its not for the men. Im a bit of an exhibitionist. I've sent some folk nude photos with consent not for their benefit but because I enjoy that. If they do too that's a bonus but it's not really for them in some cases. Sometimes you just want to be naked and have your body complimented.

But what you wrote here @JustGeorge this is also true as well...outside of nudes sometimes i just like how an outfit fits on me. Wearing it...It's not showing off its me liking the outfit and it makes me confident feeling. There's nothing sexual to it it's just an outfit I like.

EDIT: for clarity

 

[VoidCat]

Even if you showing off sometimes its not for the men. Im a bit of an exhibitionist. I've sent some folk nude photos with consent not for their benefit but because I enjoy that. If they do too that's a bonus but it's not really for them in some cases. Sometimes you just want to be naked and have your body complimented.

But what you wrote here @JustGeorge this is also true as well...outside of nudes sometimes i just like how an outfit fits on me. Wearing it...It's not showing off its me liking the outfit and it makes me confident feeling. There's nothing sexual to it it's just an outfit I like.

EDIT: for clarity

@Massimo2002
Basically if a woman is showing their body off for men online or off they'll usually make it obvious. Dont just assume.

 

[JustGeorge]

But what you wrote here @JustGeorge this is also true as well...outside of nudes sometimes i just like how an outfit fits on me. Wearing it...It's not showing off its me liking the outfit and it makes me confident feeling. There's nothing sexual to it it's just an outfit I like.

EDIT: for clarity

I really enjoy different kinds of clothing... sometimes something's just cut that way. Its part of the design.

 

[ChristineM]

i just like how an outfit fits on me. Wearing it...It's not showing off its me liking the outfit and it makes me confident feeling

I completely agree well fitting clothes work wonders for confidence

 

[VoidCat]

I really enjoy different kinds of clothing... sometimes something's just cut that way. Its part of the design.

Yep. I got a few outfits that are like that. I got a red dress for example that's very low cut and even with my flatish chest it shows a bit of cleavage but its the cutest dress. I like said dress and wear it anyway. It's a nice dress.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I don't understand how anyone can not find pleasure in sex it just baffles me as a nymphomaniac.

"Nymphomania" is sex addiction. You should seek help for that. You should probably get offline and actually go outside anyway.

 

[VoidCat]

I completely agree well fitting clothes work wonders for confidence

Exactly. I know a shocking thing right? A good outfit helps self esteem. But it's true.

 

[Kathryn]

I don't find the internet to be a particularly sexy place myself.

 

[VoidCat]

I don't find the internet to be a particularly sexy place myself.

Might depend on what corners you in. The althorigm shows what you look for and the internet is huge. I don't see a lot of sexy stuff most the time.

 

[Kathryn]

That's true and apparently I don't look for sexual stuff online. @VoidCat

 

[VoidCat]

Nymphomania" is sex addiction

I didn't say this simply because I dont know if he's using it as a legit diagnosis or as a layman's term. But I agree he likely would need help if it's a legit addiction. And @Massimo2002. You could use some therapy to help with talking to people most everyone can. Myself included and im not just talking about with pursuing relationships. Just everyone struggles in some area with communication and social stuff it's good to work on that in general. Everyone can benefit from therapy

Edit: thats not a term to describe men anyway but women and as a diagnosis it's outdated. The outdated counterpart would be satyromaniac. I dont know what sex addiction is called now I think there's a variety of diagnoses it can be and sometimes it a symptom...im thinking he's using it as a laymens term

 

[JustGeorge]

That's true and apparently I don't look for sexual stuff online. @VoidCat

I don't find sexual stuff very sexy.

 

[Kathryn]

I don't find sexual stuff very sexy.

Me either! Mostly it's gross.

 

[Revoltingest]

When I was a teen, I used to wear handcuffs as a bracelet, and a chain leash for funsies.

I was completely innocent sexually... and had no idea that anyone would take it as anything sexual. I was(and still am) into the Goth look... they were fun accessories.

I was completely baffled when someone approached me and asked if I was into....

I agree, you can't look at someone at suppose they want to discuss sex with you.

Life is complicated for us, the clueless.
Example...
The color of your "scrubby" says what kind of swinger you are.

 

[JustGeorge]

Life is complicated for us, the clueless.
Example...
The color of your "scrubby" says what kind of swinger you are.

I'm afraid to ask what a scrubby is.

 

[Revoltingest]

I'm afraid to ask what a scrubby is.

As I recall, it's something for
cleaning pots & pans.