Why do i feel this way?

[Angelsinarmour]

I grew up as a Catholic in Asia and growing up I've seen some devout group of people that would go as far as to crucify themselves on holy week. It was both a frightening and a curious site to behold for a 9 year old. I learned of hell as well as things not to do as they were preached in church, and most of all to fear God. Now in my adulthood with a family of my own, I question religion even more, despite being surrounded by good people mainly my families and friends who are devout Christians and Catholics. I grew up fearing to question about God. I simply bow my head in church and do what I am told, and in the past 5 years I have began to ask myself how do I love a God and fear him at the same time. Now I do belive in a God don't get me wrong, but not the kind of God churches speak of as well as the kind of God the bible preach about. I feel these God's have either been mistranslated by so many people through centuries that its true meaning have almost disapeared. I believe that there is a God that created this whole universe, a higher being we connect to in our everyday life. I just want someones perspective in how I feel this way, despite being surrounded by religion people, in contrary if I am surrounded by religion individuals then I should think and believe like them, but the more I get close to them the more I question things.

 

[Quagmire]

the easiest answer is that you question these things because they're questionable.

IMO, the fact that you are questioning some things that don't sit right with you says that you're more serious about your spirituality than, perhaps, the people around you who just accept what they've been taught without examining how they feel about it personally.

 

[.lava]

I grew up as a Catholic in Asia and growing up I've seen some devout group of people that would go as far as to crucify themselves on holy week. It was both a frightening and a curious site to behold for a 9 year old. I learned of hell as well as things not to do as they were preached in church, and most of all to fear God. Now in my adulthood with a family of my own, I question religion even more, despite being surrounded by good people mainly my families and friends who are devout Christians and Catholics. I grew up fearing to question about God. I simply bow my head in church and do what I am told, and in the past 5 years I have began to ask myself how do I love a God and fear him at the same time. Now I do belive in a God don't get me wrong, but not the kind of God churches speak of as well as the kind of God the bible preach about. I feel these God's have either been mistranslated by so many people through centuries that its true meaning have almost disapeared. I believe that there is a God that created this whole universe, a higher being we connect to in our everyday life. I just want someones perspective in how I feel this way, despite being surrounded by religion people, in contrary if I am surrounded by religion individuals then I should think and believe like them, but the more I get close to them the more I question things.

hi it is your duty to know your God. it is God who gave you an intellect to question. what matter is sincerity and love. how could you not know God if you get closer to it?

love God, fear losing your love. that is how we feel for our loved ones. we fear to lose them. God loves you and wants you to be happy. that would not please God if one crucify himself. if one had an accident then of course he should be patient in case he was in pain. but body is a trust of God. we should not damage it knowingly.

wish to reach God and let God teach you religion.

welcome

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[.lava]

forgot to give link, sorry

http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/religious-debates/64971-fear-god.html

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[Angelsinarmour]

But lately its getting to me more and more. I feel there is a big gap that needs to be filled. My life has been a blessing. I feel beyond love when I am with my family. I feel immence satisfaction when I am holding my son and daughter, I feel happiness when I am with my parents and my heart has more than enough room to accept strangers. But despite all these emotions I feel there is something bigger brewing inside me. I just can't explain it. I just feel that there is more before my eyes than I am lead to believe. I feel there is more.

 

[.lava]

But lately its getting to me more and more. I feel there is a big gap that needs to be filled. My life has been a blessing. I feel beyond love when I am with my family. I feel immence satisfaction when I am holding my son and daughter, I feel happiness when I am with my parents and my heart has more than enough room to accept strangers. But despite all these emotions I feel there is something bigger brewing inside me. I just can't explain it. I just feel that there is more before my eyes than I am lead to believe. I feel there is more.

it sounds like you might be experiencing something valuable. there is always more and better, always i am wishing you the best, Angelsinarmour.

here: there are two kinds of people. people who's satisfied with what they have and people who's not satisfied with worldly stuff. however one loves his life, according to our teaching true happiness comes with being closer to God. i had everything i wanted too but still it felt like none of them was completed. because of this world we do not want God. we are busy with this world. religion i know is about wishing to reach God. it was said one must wish for it before he dies because when he dies he would reach God anyway. so for God what valuable is our desire to reach God while we are still alive and sane and even though we have everything we need. i hope that helps.

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[UnityNow101]

The questioning of what you have always believed to be the truth is the beginning of a true and intense search to know what is real behind the many masks and curtains which alter us from seeing what is. Understand that everything that you have ever heard and/or learned regarding God, either by the authoritarian pastors and priests, or even by your loving mother and father, has been a result of conditioning which has been in place for many, many years. The conditioning becomes the accepted norm and then you are criticized and ostracized for questioning this assumption that has been layed upon society through years of conditioning...

If I can recommend one thing, it would be to really try to understand yourself, such as where the ideas and opinions that you hold come from and if they are independant of the society and conditioning in which you have been exposed. If it is the conditioning which has shaped society, which in turn shapes your own mental functions, then are we following the truth or a pattern which no longer has any real meaning in our own lives? We are set in a groove that has been layed out before us by the power brokers whom never intend to lose their grip and control over society and we are fearful that if we step outside of that groove to learn about oursleves and what is real, that we will lose our respectability within society and will possibly end up in, God forbid, hell. Remember that what is seen NOW is what is real, not the grand pageantry and frozen ideas presented by religion...

 

[Rolling_Stone]

I grew up as a Catholic in Asia and growing up I've seen some devout group of people that would go as far as to crucify themselves on holy week. It was both a frightening and a curious site to behold for a 9 year old. I learned of hell as well as things not to do as they were preached in church, and most of all to fear God. Now in my adulthood with a family of my own, I question religion even more, despite being surrounded by good people mainly my families and friends who are devout Christians and Catholics. I grew up fearing to question about God. I simply bow my head in church and do what I am told, and in the past 5 years I have began to ask myself how do I love a God and fear him at the same time. Now I do belive in a God don't get me wrong, but not the kind of God churches speak of as well as the kind of God the bible preach about. I feel these God's have either been mistranslated by so many people through centuries that its true meaning have almost disapeared. I believe that there is a God that created this whole universe, a higher being we connect to in our everyday life. I just want someones perspective in how I feel this way, despite being surrounded by religion people, in contrary if I am surrounded by religion individuals then I should think and believe like them, but the more I get close to them the more I question things.

I, too, had bad experiences with religion when I was young and I later on personally saw what you're talking about outside of Clark AB when I was in the Philippines. (I'm going again Dec. 3) I think you're re experiencing a kind "cognitive dissonance": a psychological conflict resulting from inconsistency between what you grew up with and your present attitude about what God must be. It's a difficult position to be in, full of internal conflict and turmoil, but it can also be most rewarding if you but forgive yourself for letting go of the past and remember what Paul wrote: "When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

Angelsinarmour, what Church and the Bible cannot do for you is look inside yourself. If religion was only about obedience we would never have religions like today because we would have followed the ways of our ancestors forever.

The world's wisdom traditions generally share these two features:-

1) Spirit, or God by whatever name, exists.

2) Spirit, although existing "out there," is found "in here," or revealed within to the open heart and mind.

UnityNow101 *nods*

 

[zenzero]

Friend Angel,

how do I love a God and fear him at the same time.

This has been the greatest problem with those who are unenlightened but are preachers.
God even if one accepts it then too there is nothing to fear him.
Does one love his family and still fear them.
No way.
Similarly God is approachable through love BUT there is no way there is anything to FEAR him for.
Love & rgds

 

[Ben Dhyan]

I feel these God's have either been mistranslated by so many people through centuries that its true meaning have almost disapeared.

Trust this feeling Angelinarmour, for God is ultimately unknowable by the mortal mind.

All events conveyed in scripture where God is interacting/communicating with mankind, even apart from the errors of mistranslation and corruption, are really just allegorical stories or metaphorical figures of speech that have a deep lesson embedded within them. And as Jesus said, only those with 'eyes to see' and 'ears to hear' actually get the message. The unenlightened look but do not see, listen but do not hear, and by interpreting scripture erroneously, eventually the true meaning is lost.

Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within", and if it were to be found in a book of scripture, he would have said so. What he did imply was that
"The keys to the doors of Heaven" were within scripture, ie. the parables, metaphors, etc., but that the priests who impose themselves as intermediators between the layperson and God, are not only lost themselves, but prevent the disciple from finding 'union' within, and hence causing them to become lost also.

Having said that, it is not important to be concerned about those who are not yet 'awake', but for those who are beginning to awake, it becomes our Divine responsibility and goal to seek that union with the unknowable cosmic oneness (God), with all our mind, with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our strength.

 

[Renji]

I grew up as a Catholic in Asia and growing up I've seen some devout group of people that would go as far as to crucify themselves on holy week. It was both a frightening and a curious site to behold for a 9 year old. I learned of hell as well as things not to do as they were preached in church, and most of all to fear God. Now in my adulthood with a family of my own, I question religion even more, despite being surrounded by good people mainly my families and friends who are devout Christians and Catholics. I grew up fearing to question about God. I simply bow my head in church and do what I am told, and in the past 5 years I have began to ask myself how do I love a God and fear him at the same time. Now I do belive in a God don't get me wrong, but not the kind of God churches speak of as well as the kind of God the bible preach about. I feel these God's have either been mistranslated by so many people through centuries that its true meaning have almost disapeared. I believe that there is a God that created this whole universe, a higher being we connect to in our everyday life. I just want someones perspective in how I feel this way, despite being surrounded by religion people, in contrary if I am surrounded by religion individuals then I should think and believe like them, but the more I get close to them the more I question things.

I think, those people who would crucify themselves are people who are confused with the Christian Doctrine. Their faith are converted into superstition and I am sad about what they are doing. You do not need to crucify your self or be stoned to death just to show your faith. First, you should analyze the reason why you doubt/question about your faith. You are feeling things in spite of the fact that you are surronded by religious people maybe because you have so many questions unanswered by the Christian religion.
Try to ask those religious people about your concerns and and reflect on them. After doing it, you have an option(ask yourself on what is right thing to do): To stand firm in your faith or leave your faith. No matter what other people say, only you can deside on what you will believe.

 

[Angelsinarmour]

Thanks everyone for bringing up such great perspective on things. I often look around me and see just how beautiful things are and yet we as humans tend to ignore them, we feel so caught up with our everyday life that when we truly need to dig deep in our spiritual journey most people just end up following others. The hard thing for me is that I cannot persuade the people that I love that there are more to going to church everyday and hearing the same thing over and over. And when I try to make the effort I just feel like the trouble maker. I am not in any way want to change any of them, I simply want to tell them that if only you step away from it all that perhaps you'll see a bigger picture. And by the way on top of that many church-going people have never even read the bible, they can quote from it but when you speak of its inconsistencies within its pages they get defensive.
One of my close friends who goes to church twice a week told me that she is interested in going on a mission to spread the word of God. I asked her "what if despite your effort in all the places you visited to spread the word of God has all been a failure and that no one wanted to believe you, how would you feel travelling for miles and miles and get no results?" She replied "It is not the result but the thought that she spread the word." Now I had a hard time accepting this answer because the thought that going out of your way and get no result to me is simply useless. Now don't get me wrong, I know what she meant but I feel her answer lacked effort. What I mean is if you simply tell someone something and hoping that alone will be sufficient enough to believe in and then you're on your way to another place to me is pointless. Its like planting a tree and hoping that your effort in placing the tree in the ground is sufficient enough to grow the tree is simply wrong. Now if you take the time everyday to water the tree and pruning it once in a while then the effort is not wasted and the tree will grow beautifully. Despite how much I asked her she could not give me a proper answer. Now I told her the joke about the Priest and the Taxi Driver - the Priest and the Taxi driver dies the same time and are both standing before the gate of heaven. The Priest was the first one to go in and received a simple welcome from a couple of angels. When it was taxi driver's turn he received a grand welcome. The priest was a bit disappointed and asked God why of all his dedication on earth that he only gets two angels to welcome him and the taxi driver gets a grand reception. God answered that when the priest speaks to the people in church many of them would fall asleep halfway into the mass, and that despite his effort he has not made an success in catching their attention, but the reckless taxi driver have always managed to get his passengers praying whenever he is driving. I don't think my friend gets the joke or my point because she got even defensive. Many people would probably feel the same way as my friend no matter how serious you are. I wish I know what it is that I'm looking for. I know I'll find the answer within me.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

I don't think I can say much more. Everyone really hit a profound note on this topic for you, much better than I could ever.

All I can say is, to have been raised in such an environment, yet still have that sense of introspective and adventure with your spirituality, shows how special you are.

What you experienced with the crucifixions was very extreme and unnecessary behavior. People try to make everything black and white, religion in particular with some people. It is one way or no way. To the extreme right or to the extreme left. I don't believe this is true. Nothing within the universe is simply black and white, so likewise, I believe neither should our beliefs, concepts or perceptions be just either black or white. That gray area seems never ending. You are right, there is SO MUCH MORE. There is so much to learn about religion, I don't think it is possible to learn it all in one lifetime. Maybe I'm wrong. lol.

Don't worry, just open your mind, take your time, and learn about everything that interests you within the many religions out there. The longer you spend with it, you should start to feel better and begin sorting out your questions for yourself, without even realizing it at times.

 

[Renji]

Angelsinarmour, I hope that all of your doubts will be all settled and healed (maybe not now but maybe sometime). For now, I don't have anything more to say but I will give you some frubals.

 

[Angelsinarmour]

Lawrence thanks for your thought. You're a catholic how do you feel about what I have said? Most of my relatives and friends are catholics.

 

[Weddy]

As far as fearing God is concerned, I always looked at it the same way as I looked at my earthly father when I was a child. I loved my dad, but if I did something wrong I feared him because I knew I would be punished. Even though I was punished, I still loved him.

I also felt an emptiness in my life, until I asked Jesus to save me. Now, no matter what is going on in my life, I feel His holy spirit in me always. He can give you peace and joy in the most difficult times. Not to say that I'm never sad, but He always takes care of me.

Oh, and don't ever be afraid to ask questions. We all have them no matter what our beliefs.

 

[kevinator815]

You know, you should read the bible because. It gives you instructions or a view on how to walk and act on this earth.

 

[Angelsinarmour]

Kevinator815 I did read the bible and to me it was just a collection of stories that pretty well contradicted itself, so for me to base my life on writings by different people is very much the end of the road for me. I want my road to go on and be inviting. The bible is not the answer.

Weddy, punishing is one thing but getting angry but with proper explanation is another. To explain your reason for your anger is understandable. It leads to learning not fear.

 

[Renji]

Lawrence thanks for your thought. You're a catholic how do you feel about what I have said? Most of my relatives and friends are catholics.

I feel a little bit sad of what you feel esp. about the "Christian" God. But it is ok to me. Few years back, I am feeling that I have a tendency of being atheist. Thank God, I'm here, still a Catholic and a believer. May God bless you