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Why do I hate almost everyone?
- Thread starter leafer
- Start date
Ãanisty
Well-Known Member
The reason it's a problem is because the majority makes it a problem.
My advice to you is not to worry about the majority, just worry about you and your friends and loved ones. It would be great if everyone accepted everyone just the way they are, but that isn't realistic. If anyone who says they love you and does not accept you they are in the wrong, not you.Ðanisty;886434 said:
lilithu
The Devil's Advocate
I think it's great that you care about more important things than money, stuff, and social prestige. But it's not so great if you hate "almost everyone" as a result of it. Your friends and former friends are just the product of the same social conditioning that you were once a part of. Just because you've moved beyond that doesn't mean you can expect everyone else to also, at least not at your speed. I know it's hard, especially when you are the one being socially ostracized, but try to have some compassion for them. They're operating out of ignorance, but not evil.
And hate hurts you as much as those you hate.
As for meeting more people who share your values, Booko had some great suggestions. Basically, put yourself in the situations where there are likely to be more people who think like you. If you happen to be in a place where you are extremely isolated, then online forums may be a life-line. You are not alone.
edit:
In reading the "disagreement" between Christine and Danisty, I think you're both right. I agree with Christine that often times when one hates everyone, it is oneself that one really has an issue with. I certainly find that to be the case for me. The happier I am about myself, the more forgiving I can be towards others. The less happy I am with myself, the more little things about others seem unbearable. What PureX wrote also speaks to this.
Otoh, I think it also important to recognize the power of social dynamics and how being ostracized can really hurt someone. It's too easy to dismiss that by saying, "don't care what others think of you." Of course, in the grand scheme of things, one should stick to one's principles rather than seeking popularity. But one still needs friends. One still needs support. And if all of that is taken away, then it is hard to not be affected by that.
Both views are true. And I can see how together they would form a downward spiral.
Bottom line again is to put yourself in situations where you will be more likely to meet people who share your values.
And hate hurts you as much as those you hate.
As for meeting more people who share your values, Booko had some great suggestions. Basically, put yourself in the situations where there are likely to be more people who think like you. If you happen to be in a place where you are extremely isolated, then online forums may be a life-line. You are not alone.
edit:
In reading the "disagreement" between Christine and Danisty, I think you're both right. I agree with Christine that often times when one hates everyone, it is oneself that one really has an issue with. I certainly find that to be the case for me. The happier I am about myself, the more forgiving I can be towards others. The less happy I am with myself, the more little things about others seem unbearable. What PureX wrote also speaks to this.
Otoh, I think it also important to recognize the power of social dynamics and how being ostracized can really hurt someone. It's too easy to dismiss that by saying, "don't care what others think of you." Of course, in the grand scheme of things, one should stick to one's principles rather than seeking popularity. But one still needs friends. One still needs support. And if all of that is taken away, then it is hard to not be affected by that.
Both views are true. And I can see how together they would form a downward spiral.
Bottom line again is to put yourself in situations where you will be more likely to meet people who share your values.
Ãanisty
Well-Known Member
I'm really not talking about little things like people staring because I have tattoos. Trust me, I don't care. I'm talking about major things like how your religion or your lifestyle affects your ability to have or keep a job, etc. A person can't simply ignore the majority when the majority steps in interferes with your life.
It only interferes with your life if you let it. I really don't know what you are saying. After all, no one has ever interfered with my life, outside of my husband (unless you count my years in the Navy). My parents may disagree with a decision I make, but since I am an adult, they can't change my mind, only give their opinion. The only religious people who come to my door are Jehovah's Witnesses to give away the Watchtower magazine.
Is someone getting into your face? If they are, be assertive, tell them they should not be harassing you. If I were to talk to a nonbeliever about God and that person said they did not want to hear it, I would stop. I have never been assertive, but it is something I am learning.
To others: this is not a argument, I truly want to help people and not just others who are believers. I want to try and help all people including nonbelievers. I may not help at all, but I am trying.
And I did not say that if you hate one or a few people you hate yourself, I said that if you hate EVERYONE then it may be yourself that you hate. I wanted to clear that up.
Is someone getting into your face? If they are, be assertive, tell them they should not be harassing you. If I were to talk to a nonbeliever about God and that person said they did not want to hear it, I would stop. I have never been assertive, but it is something I am learning.
To others: this is not a argument, I truly want to help people and not just others who are believers. I want to try and help all people including nonbelievers. I may not help at all, but I am trying.
And I did not say that if you hate one or a few people you hate yourself, I said that if you hate EVERYONE then it may be yourself that you hate. I wanted to clear that up.
Ãanisty
Well-Known Member
Clearly you've never faced anything as serious as some other people have. I've been pushed out of a job for not being Christian. I've had my name added to a police file that was being made because we liked to hang out in the square downtown and roleplay. I've been treated like dirt in school by the administration for not being related to the right people. I suffered suspicion at a job at a pharmacy because my mother-in-law was one of the prisoners we filled prescriptions for. I could come up with plenty more circumstances, but I hardly see it as necessary. It makes the majority very uncomfortable that some people are different. It is their problem, but they have the power to make it our problem too.
Just so we're clear, I am a theist. I just don't believe what you believe.
Or it could be that you're surrounded by mindless sheep that aren't worth liking anyway. When you're in the majority, it's really easy to say that the minority should just accept it.
Ozzie
Well-Known Member
Don't hate everyone. Just find a way to make your point and get it out of your system - preferably to someone who needs to hear you say this. Speaking online here will not get it out. It is very likely your anger is directed towards specific people in your entourage rather than the world at large. Good luck. Oz
Growing up I was into the material things, cars, money, power,etc.
Now I'm turning 30 in sept and since about 25 I've really begun changing my views on life, animals, plants, nature,etc but I'm looked at like the wierdo because I actually care about the world around us.
At the moment I'm single but am coming off of two long term girlfriends( 3+ years) and I realize for them its all about status and power rather then good nature. I make pretty good money and can live comfortably with what I have and honestly that's enough for me. I don't need to sacrifice my personal time to keep up with the joneses because it really doesn't matter to me anymore.
THE PROBLEM IS:
Since I've made this mental change I'm being alienated from pretty much everyone I used to hang out with and society in general. How did our world turn into this?
Is anyone else in a similar situation and if so, how do you go about your daily life with meeting like minded people?
I've gone from extrovert to introvert over the course of 3-4 years but this is the way I feel and I'm doing what I want to do. Why is this wrong in societies eyes?
Am I wrong?
Thx in advance for your responses and honestly only this type of forum can help me at this point
Smoke
Done here.
I like almost everybody on a face-to-face basis, but I hate people in traffic. I especially hate people in large vehicles who drive without regard for the safety of others.
But even though I like people in general, I prefer to keep most of them at arm's length. I wouldn't want anybody in the world, not my parents or my very closest friends, to feel they could just drop by anytime. I don't always answer my phone, and I actively encourage people to call my better half's cellphone, not mine, if they want to get together somewhere. I enjoy having people over, and cooking for them, once or twice a month, but I really don't want to hear from anybody but my husband on a daily basis. This has caused some difficulties with one of my friends, who likes to talk on the phone all the time, and -- God help me -- send text messages all day long. I don't respond to text messages. I don't even read them.
I didn't have a phone for years, and the fact that I have one now doesn't mean I'm on call. If you call me from the WalMart parking lot to complain about how rude the clerk was, I'll tell you I just don't give a ****, and I'm busy.
So, I only have a very few good friends. But that's okay with me.
On the OP, not many friendships can survive losing whatever interest you had in common with those friends, whether it's drug addiction or stamp collecting or Mexican food. The few that do survive are the ones you want to hang on to; don't worry about the others.
Aqualung
Tasty
You bring up a good point - That was a bit of a blanket statement. I enjoy most people's company for short periods of time. BUt once I pass a threshold (different for each person, depending on how shallow they are), I begin to hate them.
lilithu
The Devil's Advocate
Isn't that a kind of shallowness too?
If you don't like mindless sheep, then stay away from them. If someone fired you because you're not a Christian, then that is against the law (I don't know where you live, but it is illegal in the US to push someone out of a job because of reasons such as religion or lifestyle).
I don't hang around people much myself, I am extremely shy and I am a loner. I have been in therapy for a long time and have learned to put things into perspective. I have learned to know that if someone rejects me, then it is not necessarily my problem, but theirs. I no longer have the need for everyone to accept me.
It is human nature for people to judge others they don't understand, not that it is right. You see children ganging up on one child who they perceive as different. It is a sad truth, and there is no way to escape it. I was bullied terribly as a child just because of an overbite. I know what it means to be rejected, I know only too well. I used to take it personally, and I was unhappy. Now if someone rejects me, I have learned to put it perspective (and it can be hard at times).
I forgot that when most people complain they just want someone to complain with, they don't care about a possible solution.
I don't hang around people much myself, I am extremely shy and I am a loner. I have been in therapy for a long time and have learned to put things into perspective. I have learned to know that if someone rejects me, then it is not necessarily my problem, but theirs. I no longer have the need for everyone to accept me.
It is human nature for people to judge others they don't understand, not that it is right. You see children ganging up on one child who they perceive as different. It is a sad truth, and there is no way to escape it. I was bullied terribly as a child just because of an overbite. I know what it means to be rejected, I know only too well. I used to take it personally, and I was unhappy. Now if someone rejects me, I have learned to put it perspective (and it can be hard at times).
I forgot that when most people complain they just want someone to complain with, they don't care about a possible solution.
Aqualung
Tasty
Why would it be? Is it shallow that I don't like to eat food that I think taste bad? Is it shallow to not belong to religions I think are false? How is it shallow to not enjoy the company of people I don't like?
Aqualung
Tasty
Maybe they didn't fire her. Maybe she was treated so badly by her coworkers that the only sane thing to do would be to quit. I've had that happen to me a lot (not with jobs but with other things).
It is my opinion that that should be made illegal, too. It is wrong to treat someone badly, especially at a workplace, just because they are different. We do live in a world where every has to look alike and act alike, which is probably why I am a loner rather than a social butterfly. I am considered odd by a lot of people (I look normal, but that changes as soon as I open my mouth,
)
Aqualung
Tasty
It is my opinion that that should be made illegal, too. It is wrong to treat someone badly, especially at a workplace, just because they are different. We do live in a world where every has to look alike and act alike, which is probably why I am a loner rather than a social butterfly. I am considered odd by a lot of people (I look normal, but that changes as soon as I open my mouth,
WEll, in my opinion, people should be able to fire any person for any reason. So where does that leave us?
lilithu
The Devil's Advocate
First of all, to not enjoy someone's company is not the same thing as hating them.
Secondly, you are applying a standard of worth, just like the "shallow" people whom you hate. They may decide that people aren't worthwhile unless they make a certain amount of money. Whereas you decide that people aren't worthwhile unless they a certain level of "depth" by your standards. There is still the judgment and ranking.
It's one thing to speak against shallowness. But quite another thing to hate people who don't measure up to your criteria. Do you think that Jesus hated the rich man who couldn't give up all his stuff and follow? I think he had compassion for the fact that the guy was trapped by his own desires.
Smoke
Done here.
In South Carolina, they can. Unless you've got a contract, you can be fired from any job for any reason, or no reason. There are federal laws to protect some minorities, but you can always say they had a bad attitude or something.WEll, in my opinion, people should be able to fire any person for any reason. So where does that leave us?