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Why do men and women have children by accident ?

We Never Know

No Slack
The point you were making, if any.
Well lets see... You claimed..

A mom can only have you,

I agreed to a point. Adoption changes that. Having a kid doesnt make one a mom.
feed you, and raise you, on purpose.

I responded with 'a man can feed you and raise you.
I added a lot of women can't breast feed. So there's that. Meaning a man can feed the baby as easy as the mother.
That's why 100 men can say they are your father, but only one woman will call you their child.
The same goes for your father.

I agreed to that but technically its wrong. An adopted child is called their child by both their adoptive mother and father.
However only the biological mother and father can say its their biological child.

So where again are you confused?
 

GoodAttention

Well-Known Member
Well lets see... You claimed..



I agreed to a point. Adoption changes that. Having a kid doesnt make one a mom.


I responded with 'a man can feed you and raise you.
I added a lot of women can't breast feed. So there's that. Meaning a man can feed the baby as easy as the mother.



I agreed to that but technically its wrong. An adopted child is called their child by both their adoptive mother and father.
However only the biological mother and father can say its their biological child.

So where again are you confused?

Ahhh, you disected my statements to then find fault in. No longer confused.

Remember, the message of the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
I will never forget one time my dad told me that he had sex with my mom and accidentally had me it's hurts still knowing that.

Why? Sex happens, sometimes in the heat of the moment, without contraception. Accidents happen. Consider it your dads fault for not being able to control himself.

He has however stuck by his mistake and raised you, rather that running of to leave an unmarried mother. That on its own says something good about him. What he said would of course be very painful for you but remember that about him.
 

Terrywoodenpic

Oldest Heretic
In the moment, sexual attraction is far more powerful than caution.
We are built that way, it is the way nature works it's magic.
We are primarily reproductive machines.
Before contraception became universal... Reproduction was virtually an annual event, births were in double figures early death was almost as common. Cities and ports were centres of STD's.
The church tried and failed to to control sexual appetites..
.
We are all here through the power of sexual desire. Not through the power of restraint.
Everyone knows that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. It is futile to expect Any generation will act in anyway differently than in the past. All our mothers and daughters, fathers and sons have and will succumb to the force of sexual desire.

Some people plan their families, at some point most just let their instincts take their course.
Children are never accidents, they are what nature planned all along.
 

The Hammer

Skald
Premium Member
It just means to appreciate the lot in your life, not that your life would necessarily be great but it could also be worse and in no way demeaning of any person who has more problems than you do.

Eh, I still see it as invalidating the person.

I would never tell someone to "buck up you, don't have it *that* bad (compared to XYZ)".

"Don't feel bad you had a heart attack, Bob had a two and he can't talk anymore"


Yeah, I'll pass on the comparison of problems to try and be supportive. I'll stick with just being supportive.
 

wellwisher

Well-Known Member
I will never forget one time my dad told me that he had sex with my mom and accidentally had me it's hurts still knowing that.
The prime directive for sex is procreation. The joy of sex is like the carrot on the string that leads the horse to water; procreation. Often the ego wants it cake and to eat it at the same time; want sex but not pregnancy. However, the prime directive may be leading and sets a trap for the ego, so a child can be born.

The need for abortion happens the same way. The difference is the ego then overrides the inner self and nature with a willful act of defiance. Your parents accepted their fate; become parents, even though theirs egos may have had different plans, before.
 

Evangelicalhumanist

"Truth" isn't a thing...
Premium Member
I will never forget one time my dad told me that he had sex with my mom and accidentally had me it's hurts still knowing that.
Do you suppose that the only times people are intimate with one another, it is because they are planning a child? What should a young, married couple do, then, if they are not ready to have kids yet?
 

Evangelicalhumanist

"Truth" isn't a thing...
Premium Member
The prime directive for sex is procreation. The joy of sex is like the carrot on the string that leads the horse to water; procreation. Often the ego wants it cake and to eat it at the same time; want sex but not pregnancy. However, the prime directive may be leading and sets a trap for the ego, so a child can be born.

The need for abortion happens the same way. The difference is the ego then overrides the inner self and nature with a willful act of defiance. Your parents accepted their fate; become parents, even though theirs egos may have had different plans, before.
You fail to see how nature really works. Yes, the sex drive is how nature promotes fecundity, but nature doesn't promise there will be offspring for every sex act. In fact, most of the time, the female is not ready to conceive (about 23 days out of every month), even though she may be more than willing to play.

This is the problem you get when you try to give nature a "will" or a purpose. It has none.
 

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
Eh, I still see it as invalidating the person.

I would never tell someone to "buck up you, don't have it *that* bad (compared to XYZ)".

"Don't feel bad you had a heart attack, Bob had a two and he can't talk anymore"


Yeah, I'll pass on the comparison of problems to try and be supportive. I'll stick with just being supportive.

"What? Your family died in a fire? Well I know a guy whose family and pet parakeet died in a fire, so turn that frown upside down!"
 

anna.

colors your eyes with what's not there
Eh, I still see it as invalidating the person.

I would never tell someone to "buck up you, don't have it *that* bad (compared to XYZ)".

"Don't feel bad you had a heart attack, Bob had a two and he can't talk anymore"


Yeah, I'll pass on the comparison of problems to try and be supportive. I'll stick with just being supportive.

Brené Brown on the difference between empathy and sympathy.

Very short video, but I thought of your posts about invalidating the person and hope you'll watch, see especially the 1:38 mark and following, where she talks about people who say "at least."

 

Terrywoodenpic

Oldest Heretic
You fail to see how nature really works. Yes, the sex drive is how nature promotes fecundity, but nature doesn't promise there will be offspring for every sex act. In fact, most of the time, the female is not ready to conceive (about 23 days out of every month), even though she may be more than willing to play.

This is the problem you get when you try to give nature a "will" or a purpose. It has none.
The fact that women do not get pregnant every time they have unprotected sex, is why people chance it.
Nature is like the banker in a card game, it always wins in the end. The odds are stacked in its favour.

If you want worry free life, get cut and tied. But not every woman wants a man who fires blanks.
 

The Hammer

Skald
Premium Member
Brené Brown on the difference between empathy and sympathy.

Very short video, but I thought of your posts about invalidating the person and hope you'll watch, see especially the 1:38 mark and following, where she talks about people who say "at least."


Yup. That about sums it up.
 
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