Why do people end friendships because of who you voted for?

[serp777]

Its so weird to me that people would break up friendships or relationships just because that person voted for someone that they don't agree with politically. I honestly think people who would break up friendships over something like that are idiots--do you expect all of your friends to have the same opinions and values as you? How is it productive or sensible to create more division and strife?

To me it seems like political values should have nearly nothing to do with friendship--part of friendship is acknowledging and recognizing differences of opinions and trying to have an open mind/ consider new view points beyond your narrow tunnel vision.

I've seen this a lot lately from people who believe that their political opinions are so valid and righteous that anyone who disagrees with them is either a "cuck" or racist, Islamophobic, trans-phobic, misogynistic, etc and that alone makes them no longer worthy or friendship despite all their other qualities. I just don't get this, can someone explain it to me?

 

[Laika]

Its so weird to me that people would break up friendships or relationships just because that person voted for someone that they don't agree with politically. I honestly think people who would break up friendships over something like that are idiots--do you expect all of your friends to have the same opinions and values as you? How is it productive or sensible to create more division and strife?

To me it seems like political values should have nearly nothing to do with friendship--part of friendship is acknowledging and recognizing differences of opinions and trying to have an open mind/ consider new view points beyond your narrow tunnel vision.

I've seen this a lot lately from people who believe that their political opinions are so valid and righteous that anyone who disagrees with them is either a "cuck" or racist, Islamophobic, trans-phobic, misogynistic, etc and that alone makes them no longer worthy or friendship despite all their other qualities. I just don't get this, can someone explain it to me?

People value their own opinions as a source of their self-worth over other people. If you start violating other people's standards of whats rational or reasonable- purely for emotional reasons- it feels like a personal attack. Its not rational but people generally aren't robots who reason based on logic and evidence. The passion is there too. For some its easier to take the percieved "attackers" out the picture than to find common ground or agree to differ.

But its not easy. The desire to hit people who shock and outrage you is very persuasive.

 

[Deathbydefault]

Everyone has their own value system that they stick to in varying degrees.
The person or people in question just happen to care more about politics than friendship within that value system.

This is only a percentage of people, of course.
I prefer friends that I disagree with on most things, talking with them rarely ever gets boring.
Others like people who they can just play some games or have a couple beers with.

It's all in the personality, you might be just as weird to them as they are to you.

 

[Kirran]

From the leftist side, I've seen people say that anybody who voted Trump isn't necessarily a racist but does not find racism enough of an issue to not vote for somebody, and that that is just too deeply different to their own views the friendship is no longer tenable.

I've never broken up a friendship with somebody over who they voted for myself. I don't know what I'd do if a friend of mine voted for the BNP! But to be honest, I'm not sure I have many friends who are in their target demographic.

 

[Sunstone]

It seems to me that people are a whole lot more reluctant to break off a real life friendship over voting differences than they are to break off an internet relationship over voting differences.

 

[Kirran]

To be safe, one can agree with all one's friends to vote for a mutually agreeable candidate or party in all elections.

 

[Sunstone]

To be safe, one can agree with all one's friends to vote for a mutually agreeable candidate or party in all elections.

Among my group of real life friends, we'd have to look for a foreign election to find a candidate we could all agree on.

 

[Kirran]

Among my group of real life friends, we'd have to look for a foreign election to find a candidate we could all agree on.

You have too much diversity among your friends! It's meant to be an echo chamber.

To be honest, even within my own nuclear family we harbour a Liberal Democrat :O

 

[Sunstone]

...we harbour a Liberal Democrat :O

Have you tried an industrial roach spray?

 

[Kemosloby]

If you're telling people they have "narrow tunnel vision" because they don't agree with you, that could be part of the problem.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Its so weird to me that people would break up friendships or relationships just because that person voted for someone that they don't agree with politically. I honestly think people who would break up friendships over something like that are idiots--do you expect all of your friends to have the same opinions and values as you? How is it productive or sensible to create more division and strife?

To me it seems like political values should have nearly nothing to do with friendship--part of friendship is acknowledging and recognizing differences of opinions and trying to have an open mind/ consider new view points beyond your narrow tunnel vision.

I've seen this a lot lately from people who believe that their political opinions are so valid and righteous that anyone who disagrees with them is either a "cuck" or racist, Islamophobic, trans-phobic, misogynistic, etc and that alone makes them no longer worthy or friendship despite all their other qualities. I just don't get this, can someone explain it to me?

Voting has consequences. If one of the consequences of your vote is to hurt your friend or the people he or she cares about, why wouldn't your vote be just as problematic as hurting them directly?

For instance, voting for a candidate who pledges to get rid of amnesty for "DREAMers" and deport all of them is being just as hurtful and harmful as someone who pickets "DREAMers" with "go back where you came from" signs.

Actually, the voting is worse, because a nasty sign can't deport anyone, but voting for a candidate helps to give him real power to carry out his platform.

 

[Kirran]

Have you tried an industrial roach spray?

Knowing my father, he's sulk for a good couple of weeks afterwards

 

[Godobeyer]

Its so weird to me that people would break up friendships or relationships just because that person voted for someone that they don't agree with politically. I honestly think people who would break up friendships over something like that are idiots--do you expect all of your friends to have the same opinions and values as you? How is it productive or sensible to create more division and strife?

To me it seems like political values should have nearly nothing to do with friendship--part of friendship is acknowledging and recognizing differences of opinions and trying to have an open mind/ consider new view points beyond your narrow tunnel vision.

I've seen this a lot lately from people who believe that their political opinions are so valid and righteous that anyone who disagrees with them is either a "cuck" or racist, Islamophobic, trans-phobic, misogynistic, etc and that alone makes them no longer worthy or friendship despite all their other qualities. I just don't get this, can someone explain it to me?

I do agree, it's happened all time, some people when you get disagree with them in some points, they may hates you

So some others people they just pleasing the others to avoid being hated

I am personally don't hate people because of different opinion, I hate hypocrisy, and dishonesty they used to please the others, or because they are just "anti-Islam" or "anti-Muslims"

 

[Laika]

To be safe, one can agree with all one's friends to vote for a mutually agreeable candidate or party in all elections.

It's a secret ballot. They're may be a traitor among them!

*evil laughter*

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

It's a secret ballot. They're may be a traitor among them!

*evil laughter*

Actually, that raises a good point: your vote is secret, so nobody could ever unfriend you just for voting. For them to take any sort of action against you, you would have to do something that they actually know about: announce your vote, campaign for a candidate, show up on a donor list, etc.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Voting is very much an identity these days. How you vote labels you as part of a group: conservative vs. liberal. Democrat vs. republican. Environmentalist vs. businessman. If you have friends who don't vote the same, they are suddenly part of the other tribe.

Personally, I don't let dissenting voices get in the way of my friendships unless they descend into outright hatred. I have a couple of conservative Christian camping buddies who have totally different worldviews from me, but that doesn't stop us from getting together and enjoying our friendship.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I've never lost a friendship over political differences. Then again, I've never developed meaningful relationships with people who take things like politics seriously enough to get upset over.

 

[Kirran]

In America that does seem to be very much the case. It is to some degree in the UK, but not so much and I think less than it has been in the past. This is in part due to a sort-of-multi-party system.

 

[Revoltingest]

You have too much diversity among your friends! It's meant to be an echo chamber.

To be honest, even within my own nuclear family we harbour a Liberal Democrat :O

I still have some Pyronyl Diazinon from before it became unavailable.
It works well on ants, but I've never tried it on....uh.....never mind.
I like Democrats.

 

[Kirran]

I still have some Pyronyl Diazinon from before it became unavailable.
It works well on ants, but I've never tried it on....uh.....never mind.
I like Democrats.

Hey, these aren't like your Democrats, don't let the name fool you.

Actually, thinking about it, they kind of are. Neocon, neoliberal, they're like kind-of-left-of-centrist-but-not-too-enthusiastic-about-it Democrats.