Why Have You Left Your Church?

[Random]

I've never been a practicing R. Catholic to begin with; but if I had been, I'd have left. Still, there's bits of it I like; I take them and dispose of the rest.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Unchurched people -- sometimes defined as people who have not been in a church for reasons other than a wedding, baptism, or funeral within the prior six months -- appear to be a growing segment of American society. Many people on this board are unchurched. So, if you are unchurched, or even on the verge of being unchurched, why have you left the church, or why are you considering leaving the church?

Do you still consider yourself religious? Spiritual? If so, what do you do about it? Do you read holy scriptures? Religious/spiritual literature? Playboy?

What has been the reaction of your friends and family to your being unchurched or to your considering leaving the church?

I stopped going to church because of my promise to my wife to make my best effort to consider becoming Catholic.

No, that's not a typo.

I went with her to Mass for quite a while. I found the experience wholly unpleasant and usually upsetting. The feeling I got while actually in Mass itself was awful - the best analogy I came up with was that it was like watching a young child dragging around a dog on a leash, only nobody has told the child that the dog is dead.

After Mass for the rest of the day, I'd usually either be angry or in some sort of funk over some piece of objectionable doctrine that had been discussed in the readings or the homily. Even though I didn't purposely give my wife a hard time, I'm sure I wasn't pleasant to be around.

Finally I realized something: going to Mass was making me less likely to become Catholic, not more. It was actually working against my promise to my wife. At that point, I realized that my promise would be best served by staying home, since an activity that didn't do anything to attract me to the Church was still better than something that actively repelled me from it. It was also at this point that short of a Damascus Road-type conversion experience, the odds of me ever becoming a Catholic were virtually zero.

Interestingly, since then, my attitude toward the Catholic Church has improved. When I looked at it as something that I had to accept or reject as a complete package, the negative of it was overwhelming for me. Now that I look at it as something that I can take or leave pieces from as I choose, I find it much easier to recognize the positive.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I've left many.

 

[wayward_teen]

I was tired of being told that I was "filled up with Satan" for investigating the scientific validity of an afterlife.

Then, of course, there was the awkward silence as my mormon bishop expected me to break down in tears, repent, and kiss his feet. What a creeper.

 

[Naveed83]

I've been to many churches throughout my life and have never found one I fully feel comfortable in largely because the intolerance of other religions that many of them had, as well as the anti science streak in fundamentalist churches.

The last church, well actually it was a Bible study, that I was going to, the pastor practically said all the Japanese who died in the earthquake were probably in hell because the didn't know Jesus. He also told me that my studying of Taoism and Buddhism was probably "the devil" trying to lead me astray. Needless to say I'm pretty much done with Christian churches. Which if that's "the devil" leading me astray, then so be it, it's better then the stuff I was being told.

I know that not all Christians are that way, but it makes it hard to want to embrace a religion when your experiences with it repeatedly show the same trends.

 

[bigNavySeal]

I'm from the Netherlands (so I guess it's not immediately directed at me (initial writing was directed at Americans , but idea is entirely the same lol), have travelled extensively and am currently living in Bangkok, Thailand, which is a predominantly Buddhist country. In my younger days church simply never stuck to me, as it doesn't do amongst so many youths in Europe. We are in Europe generally known as less "church-going" and "christian" than Americans, which is often true. My mom kind of rejected the whole religious side of things as my grandmother tried to impose Roman Catholiscism quite rigoursly. My dad just says what my brother says hehe (= evolution/atheism). I guess I have grown up in an almost secular enviroment, however I do communion, went to church in my younger days, etc. As I moved along I have gotten more into comparative religion and have studied Christianity itself, Islam, Buddhism and Philosophy and significant detail. Ought to say Christianity is the less likely one to choose for me at the moment... Here in Bangkok I have had my fair share of contacts with Christians (particularly protestants) and I find their way of discussing/dealing with the topic a little bit "forced". I study religion on my own and share it now and then with friends, however I like to keep it for myself.

Society doesn't really require religious interaction, there are plenty of other peaceful things you can do with friends, such as sports, friendship activities, reading together, dinners, with whatever background. I think people these days thing religious societies are too "forced" onto people, as being a way of life look at me follow this kind of thing, while people just wish to life a just life the way they want. I'm still agnostic though and see the value of personal meaning in the potential religious (God) understanding of life and the universe...

 

[Falcon]

To follow Christ we should all find the "only" Church that Jesus formed and never left. That Church was and still is Apostolic ,[ just my opinion ] why do I come to this conclusion ? Because Jesus being the Bridegroom of His Church never divorced from His Bride ,His "one" Church one church ,because Jesus doesn't believe in polygamy or divorce . Where does one find this two-thousand year old Apostolic Church today ? For starters we can turn to our Bibles and read Matt. 16; 16-18, to further support His Church [ of which in my opinion from Biblical evidence would make it "apostolic "please correct me if you think I'm wrong ] we turn to the following Biblical passages - John 21: 15-17 .To back this up from one of more than one writings of the early Christians we find Ambrose ,4th century before Constantine ,writing -" To find Our Lord's true church in the world , you must find Peter or his lawful successor . " Where Peter is, there is the Church "
His Church is still apostolic today because of these passages Matt 28:18-20 " Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you " Could you tell me if Jesus intent was for His Teachings to be solely for the 1st century Christians only ?
Considering my above question ,what bearing would this passage also have on us, if as Jesus taught in Matt 18: 15-18 " if he refuses to listen to them { meaning other followers of the Church ] tell it to the church;... " and then saying to His apostles in Luke 10; 16 : " He who hears you, hears me; and he who rejects you rejects me ". Now I ask the question ; If Jesus only gives this authority to His apostles , and His apostles alone, [ who really are "Teachers with Authority because Jesus is the only other real Teacher with Authority,having received it Himself from the Father yet He infuses this Authority "only 'into His Apostles, as we see in the aforementioned passages .How then are we to receive the Fullness of Christ Teachings by the 16th century man-made theory of "Bible Alone" , for even the Bible tells us in the end of the Book of John ,that not everything Jesus taught is contained in the Bible alone. And doesn't the Bible itself tell us ,that it is the church that is the pillar/ foundation of truth 1 Tim 3; 15 .Taking into consideration 'that all Scripture is also the inspired Word of God, but no where does it say Scripture alone is all that is needed for the sole rule for salvation ' . So my final question is to again look at Matt. 18: 15-18 and tell me which church was Jesus speaking about ? It has to be only "One " because Jesus said " my church ' not churches in Matt 16: 18 and He said again singular usage of "church ' in Matt !8 : 15-18. So ,my opinion is that it must be an apostolic Church that Jesus is speaking about when He says : "my church ". What is your opinion please, on this important issue ,after examining the aforementioned Biblical verses ,I ask you, which "church "is it that you believe Jesus speaks about in Matt. 18: 15-18 ?

 

[Random]

WTF, one of my posts on this thread has disappeared lol.

 

[Ben Bet Beh]

I stopped going to church because of my promise to my wife to make my best effort to consider becoming Catholic.

No, that's not a typo....

...Finally I realized something: going to Mass was making me less likely to become Catholic, not more....

...Interestingly, since then, my attitude toward the Catholic Church has improved....

Thank you very much for your perspective. My wife has pretty much stopped attending Mass with me. I've been struggling as to the reasons why this is. Although your situation isn't exact, the parts I highlight seem to be the direction my wife is taking. It's almost as if by attending the Mass she was "too close to Catholicism"----> kind of like a parent trying to convince a kid of something but is unsuccessful, yet if a disinterested friend (third party) makes the same argument, he'll be convinced because of the lack of at least perceived bias associated. I sense she's needed to take a step back and work things out before she can feel comfortable attending again ---> if she will attend regularly again at all. Time will tell.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

It's almost as if by attending the Mass she was "too close to Catholicism"----> kind of like a parent trying to convince a kid of something but is unsuccessful, yet if a disinterested friend (third party) makes the same argument, he'll be convinced because of the lack of at least perceived bias associated.

That's not really it for me. In my case, it's like the difference between choosing a place to live and choosing a place to visit on vacation. When I recognize that I'm never going to make my home in a place, I don't have have to worry about things like what it's like outside tourist season or how good a place it is to raise a family.

When I recognize that I'm never going to make my home in the Catholic Church, I don't have to look at it with the critical eye that I would give to a prospective home.

 

[Desert Snake]

Because I never had one?

 

[Father Heathen]

The only Catholics that leave His Church are those that never really knew their Christian Faith

Because a corrupt institution comprising of deluded, self-serving men in silly hats has a monopoly on an entire faith.

 

[Maureen]

Because I never had one?

Ditto.

As a kid, I was berated with daily goings to hell and suffering and torment because I was born a bad little girl with lots of sin and the only way to not be tortured was to be saved. So I was. I felt no different. Fear got me in that pool by the slick haired preacher, his wife, the congregation.

Took some time for me to realize it's a personal thing, this decision to either believe in the Great White God in white flowing robes who could hurt babies not baptized because they were born bad with sin and son who had fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes...or find my own path. Which I did. It's mine. A cross between
Pantheology, pagan, christian. So I guess if I had to place a name on what I believe, it would be a christian pagan.

 

[Desert Snake]

That's great. I guess my experience with church and christianity wasn't that involved...no pressure or anything. Of course religion is prevelant in the culture, though, so it affects everyone.

 

[On_a_Quest]

The only Catholics that leave His Church are those that never really knew their Christian Faith

That is an entirely false statement.



I enjoy going to Mass and we have a great priest at the church I go to who gives excellent and somewhat inspiring sermons. However, I'm thinking about leaving the Church. I don't know if I can learn more from it. I started by going to a service in each of the churches and synagogues in my town to see if there was something better for me. While I liked all of the places I visited for one reason or another, none of them had quite what I was looking for. I'm not even 100% sure what I am looking for.

So I'm still attending church for now, but I'm striking out on my own as well. Once I figure things out, I can make an informed decision. I feel the most comfortable in Catholic Churches where everything has been the same since I was a kid. But I don't think that comfort is a good enough reason to stick with it. I'm trying to challenge the ideas I grew up with and figure things out for myself.

 

[fenrisx]

Unchurched people -- sometimes defined as people who have not been in a church for reasons other than a wedding, baptism, or funeral within the prior six months -- appear to be a growing segment of American society. Many people on this board are unchurched. So, if you are unchurched, or even on the verge of being unchurched, why have you left the church, or why are you considering leaving the church?

Do you still consider yourself religious? Spiritual? If so, what do you do about it? Do you read holy scriptures? Religious/spiritual literature? Playboy?

What has been the reaction of your friends and family to your being unchurched or to your considering leaving the church?

It took me a while, church was an obligation, god not, I found sufism and try to do a literal gnosis towards

 

[Falcon]

On_a_ Quest, I left once. But came back Home to Christ's only Church on earth [ Catholic & EOC ] because I am convinced after much study that the Catholic Church conforms much more closely to all of the "Biblical data " , the Church offers the only coherent view of the history of Christianity [ Christian apostolic Tradition via direct Teachings from Jesus, not mere-mens man-made Protestant/Cultish traditions ] and the Church possesses the complete "Fullness of the Christian Faith ".
Protestanism ,with all of its break-away [ from Catholic Church originally ] churches and related cults is seriously deficient in its interpretation of the Bible, inconsistently selective in its espousal of various Traditions from God, inadequate in its ecclesiogy, lacking a sensible view of Christian history [ Scripture Alone ] Of course I don't believe that Protestantism is all bad [ not by a long shot ] All of us Catholics must regard /recognize baptized < Nicene , Chalcedonia Protestants as brothers in Christ , therefore they are Christians also. Yet Protestantism still compromises on many of the Teachings of Jesus, kind of like a take -what -you -want cafeteria style religion. Admittedly I myself have been guilty of saying that some of the other Protestant churches may appear more exciting and entertaing ,until I realized that we are not going to church to entertain ourselves but to pray and give thanks to God .
The Catholic Church is made up of imperfect members , all of which are sinners , including the pope , he will be willing to admit it. Jesus never promised a perfect Church with perfect members but He did say that His apostolic Church would be made up of 'good and bad ' members. Jesus made His one Church a Teaching Church so as its members would become 'good '.but unfortunately not all follow the Doctrine/Teaching [ which is perpetually protected from error by Jesus, see Matt. 16 18-19 ] of the Church.
On a personal note,and that is that since the protesting reformers broke away from Christs Apostolic Catholic Church the world has entered into a secular false dichotmy of "church vs. country/world " an example of it for this country is that of taking prayers out of public schools.Another major problem is that this ever increasing secularism is making it difficult for committed true Christians , by and large , to withdraw from politics , leaving a void filled by unscrupulous , power-hungry politicians . The Catholic Church offers [ if its members are truly following actual Doctrine/ Teaching ] a framework in which to approach the state and civic responsibity.Sorry, getting off tract, still it is a sad situation presently with the condition of our country and world.

 

[On_a_Quest]

The Catholic Church is just as much of a man-made institution as any Protestant religion is. In any case, religion is not a matter of choosing between Catholicism or Protestantism within Christianity. There's a whole lot more other religions out there besides Christianity and they have just as much to offer in terms of spiritual wisdom and guidance.

 

[blackout]

The only Catholics that leave His Church are those that never really knew their Christian Faith

This is absolutely not true.

I pretty much guarantee that when you see what was a devout and knowledgeable Catholic
leave the RC church
(and then christianity altogether)
you will not know what to make of it,
and you will make no true effort to understand why.

In all likelyhood you will simply avoid them.

I say this from personal experience.

 

[JacobEzra.]

This is absolutely not true.

I pretty much guarantee that when you see what was a devout and knowledgeable Catholic
leave the RC church

This is ismply not true.

A devout Catholic would never leave the Church if he/she is devout. Mass in central to the faith.

You can't be devout and still leave. You first have to lose that devoutness,wether knowledable or not. Only reason a knowledgeable Catholic would leave, if he does not want to live by the rules the church gives. Such as divorce or ban against prematriatal sex. Though usually these people become cafeteria catholics.

Cafeteria Catholics don't count/