The development of my Agnostic-Theism is actually an interesting one because it was spurred on by the history of the Baptist church as practiced in many of the black communities across the United States. Unlike evangelical Christianity which is composed of majority white parishioners, Baptist Christianity appears to be antithetical on the surface. The churches are filled with old black women with big colorful hats which are reminiscent of our relationship with African ancestry. Not to mention the music tempo, as the pastor preaches the gospel and begins to elevate his voice, the music tempo also changes and elevates where the whole entire church breaks out in song. Many times as a child I considered church nothing more than a concert and many times I couldn't wait to leave and get Sunday food and watch movies.
Like evangelical Christianity, many black parishioners swear by the "blood of Jesus" that they are saved due to their acknowledgment that Jesus died on the cross and rose after three days to ascend to himself--this I still never understood nor is this thread about that particular Christian metaphysical phenomena. As I got older and studied more about religions themselves I began to have a more worldview about the historicity regarding various world religions. When it came to Christianity as it relates to African diaspora it became even more clear that many Africans and African-Americans have what I call a "hand me down" form of Christianity. Historically many Africans were animists and polytheists and some were Muslim and some were Christian. But looking back and reflecting the transatlantic slave trade which began on the western portion of Africa, many Africans did not have a Christian background. Many Africans actually practiced the religion of their forefathers.
Through forceful acclimation of the English language as well as the religion of their new "masters," Africans accepted their fate, and began practicing their form of Christianity in relationship to themselves. Jubilation is the baseline of all so-called "black churches." Singing and hollering and speaking in tongues in my view are acquired forms of hysteria. I tend to think these things as I've seen in the church are learned as some sort of congregational phenomena. I could be wrong though, maybe some of these people are experiencing the "holy spirit," but I tend to think the Holy Spirit does not make you do a crip walk (a dance performed by crip gang members) in the isles because you are in "the spirit."
I saw Baptist Christianity as nothing more than a religious substitute to mask the pain and anguish many older blacks in my community have experienced. To make African-Americans passive was seen as good because the slave should not think of their oppression as bad, but in their best interest and to adopt the religion of their oppressor is good because their previous faith and the performances of worship of that faith is barbarism and wrong--at least that is how it is historically presented. Sure, black churches are fun to attend because people are proactive in the sermons. People sing, dance, and shout in praise of God, not to mention the services are always late when it is time to go. But as the doors open and people leave the same people that shout the praises of God are the very ones that go back to sleeping with the pastor. This also includes stealing from others, lying on others, talking behind others' back and even sleeping with other married people.
Sure this is no different than any other community but when you observe the black church as I have, there appears to be a haven of hypocrisy just like its white evangelical counterpart. The "I'm saved and I'm a sinner" seems to be the go to phrase most if not all Christians tend to regurgitate. It is almost like a psychological reassurance to mitigate the gravity of the sin(s) they've committed. But despite all this, what really drew me away from the church and ultimately this religious community are those that are continuously judgmental. Black Baptist Christians are literalists and in the Bible (I forgot which chapter and verse) there is something somewhere that apparently states that believers in Christ are to judge others if they do not believe Jesus died and rose. Of course the go to verse many Christians use is the one that says "nobody can come to the father except through the son."
Like any conditional deity Jesus' love is masqueraded through the condition of believing in his existence, his death, and his resurrection and his deification. Unfortunately the fervor of the black church was so much that when I did have a crisis of faith instead of nourishing my need for intellectual growth and help create a relationship between my increasing secular attitude with my spiritual one, I was chastised and condemned as being of the devil. The whole "I'm going to pray for you" rather being something genuine, became an insult. I was told I was going to hell if I did not repent. The irony of it all is that going back to the oppressed loving his/her oppressor was ultimately the plan to quell a potential slave rebellion and it worked for generations. The passivity that has been imparted in the black community is one of the reasons why many African-Americans continue to struggle. But it is also one of the reasons why we idolize some African-Americans today a prime example is MLK.
We celebrate MLK not just because he is a prolific speaker but because he was seen as a passive entity who although marched for civil rights, he dared not "speak directly to the white man." This is why Malcolm X was out and MLK was in because he was seen as the "good negro" while Malcolm being outspoken on civil rights and systemic racism directly to the face of the oppressor, was seen as hostile and violent. But Malcolm X was no more violent than the very people he spoke out against. The example of king is what you see in many black Baptist churches today. Baptist Christianity thus became unappealing to me, a sort of cultural adaptation that shouldn't have been adopted. As a single man who couldn't find a nice girl to have companionship with I was told to seek them out in the church and not surprising they are the worse ones! Eventually I left and never looked back. My blackness is still there but the religiosity was not. But nonetheless there will be more black parishioners who still tithe and give their money to the likes of Creflo Dollar and other pimp pastors because as I've mentioned earlier the psychology of passivity as passed down from oppressor to oppressed is a generational phenomena that I chose to remove in the form of shackles.
