Why Is It Standard Practice for Religious Widows and Widowers to Remarry Later?

[Rival]

According to Christian belief:

The same day some Sadducees came to him, saying there is no resurrection; and they asked him a question, saying, ‘Teacher, Moses said, “If a man dies childless, his brother shall marry the widow, and raise up children for his brother.” Now there were seven brothers among us; the first married, and died childless, leaving the widow to his brother. The second did the same, so also the third, down to the seventh. Last of all, the woman herself died. In the resurrection, then, whose wife of the seven will she be? For all of them had married her.’

Jesus answered them, ‘You are wrong, because you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God, “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob”? He is God not of the dead, but of the living.’ And when the crowd heard it, they were astounded at his teaching.

Matthew 22:23-33

 

[Glaurung]

It would be more honest if they simply said they didn't believe in life after death.

That's nonsensical. That marriage dissolves at death in no way implies a denial of the afterlife. All it means is that you don't take your marriage with you.

 

[exchemist]

It would be more honest if they simply said they didn't believe in life after death.

I'm sorry, maybe I'm irreligiosity is just kicking in. Like, my mom told me numerous times that if she divorces my father or he dies, she won't remarry. I respect that. And reverse scenario I don't think he would either. And both of them are atheists.

It just seems like people do what they want most of the time, regardless of what is actually right or wrong.

You seem to be forgetting that the marriage contract (because that is what it is), as explicitly stated in the marriage ceremony, contains the words "until death do us part", or equivalent. So one is released from one's commitment at the death of one's spouse.

The sacrament of marriage is a very practical thing. It is not some dewy-eyed, romantic idea of perpetual union.

 

[InvestigateTruth]

I do not think it is 'standard practice' for widows and widowers to remarry and not all do.
I meet many widowers on dating sites who have been widowed for many years and are not necessarily looking to get married again. My counselor and my coworker, who are both close to my age and have been married for many years, said they would not remarry if their husbands died.

My mother never remarried and was alone for 40 years after my father died, but my brother looked for another wife after his first wife died and he found a Baha'i woman to marry and they have been married now for over 15 years.

I wondered about the following quote so I was going to post a thread and ask the Baha'is to give me their opinions.

What do you think @Truthseeker , @TransmutingSoul , @loverofhumanity , @InvestigateTruth , @Dawnofhope

“Bahá’í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual attachment of mind and heart. Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity….

The true marriage of Bahá’ís is this, that husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God. This is Bahá’í marriage.”
Selections From the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 118

The following quote seems to contradict the quote above. If the following quote is correct that would mean there is not just one person with whom we will spend eternity, so if we had a spiritual bond with more than one spouse we could spend eternity with both spouses.

“There is no teaching in the Bahá’í Faith that "soul mates" exist. What is meant is that marriage should lead to a profound friendship of spirit, which will endure in the next world, where there is no sex, and no giving and taking in marriage; just the way we should establish with our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters and friends a deep spiritual bond which will be everlasting, and not merely physical bonds of human relationship.”
(Shoghi Effendi, The Compilation of Compilations vol II, p. 452)

I also don't think it is standard for religious widows to marry again in Bahai Faith. But maybe it was in Islam. Islam has a different culture though. I don't know about Christianity or Jewish culture with this regards.

 

[idea]

Many agreements are "till death do you part"
Mormons - polygamous/polyandry beyond
Muslims - polygamy

I thought Bible scriptures were- neither male nor female, no one is married?

Many religious practices do not marry, munks, nuns etc do not marry at all.

I'm a fan of "no one is married" in heaven, no gender, etc.

For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels

No one is married.

In Eden, getting pregnant was a curse, Eve submitting to husband was a curse. Lifted curse = no "male head of household", no pregnancy etc. No male/female distinctions any more - no gender, no race - no age - imagine everyone united as one, no groups, no divisions, wouldn't that be nice?

 

[Sand Dancer]

This is part of an ongoing conversation that I've been having with @Trailblazer , and this topic was inspired by her.

Pretty standard question. According to almost every religion after you die you remain alive in spirit. It is already a given that you will die someday, so why is it okay to cheat on your spouse after he or she dies? My logical thinking on this is...

Your husband's physical body dies. He remains alive in spirit. He is now a spirit. So remarrying someone else doesn't make any sense because ultimately that person is still alive! Now, if you're an atheist, and believe that once something dies, it's always dead, then fine, so be it, you should remarry and be happy with another person.

But isn't it essentially being unfaithful to your now dead spouse to remarry to someone because they died? I talked to a Mormon about this, and even in their strict religion's of essentially a three-tiered Heaven, it is okay for people in that religion to re-marry if their spouse dies.

Does nobody take life after death seriously or am I just missing something?

Also, on a slightly (un)related note, this topic reminds me of the movie Clue, and Ms White and her many late husbands.

In the Bible it's a sin to remarry, especially if you are the spouse who left.

 

[The Kilted Heathen]

If you can't learn to be okay by yourself you shouldn't be spending time trying to seek people for your happiness. Happiness is a condition of the mind not a state of being, and nobody really needs anyone else to truly be happy - in fact, with how everything is wired now days sometimes it's better to unplug the Internet and social media once in awhile.

None of this addresses what I criticized of your stance. It's not an issue of "not being happy alone" or whatever nonsense, it is an issue of depriving yourself of any new companionship because "after death".

Monogamy is weird.

It's not self-imposed loneliness and suffering, because most people have what they call 'casual intimacy' rather than getting married.

Don't assume the nature of other's relationships that aren't your own. You don't have the right to make "factual" statements on what they are when you're not the one living them.

 

[Quintessence]

"Life after death" has a very different meaning in animistic-leaning and ancestor-honoring cultures. The dead and our ancestors are still here, literally. They're in us, and in the world around us. The "life after death" is more life, the continuation of existence. This cycle is accepted, and the changes that come along with it. Relationships flow in and out, change like everything else. There's no expectation of eternal bondage and servitude. Or of monogamy, for that matter. The dead are always with us and all around us in any case.

 

[Fool]

This is part of an ongoing conversation that I've been having with @Trailblazer , and this topic was inspired by her.

Pretty standard question. According to almost every religion after you die you remain alive in spirit. It is already a given that you will die someday, so why is it okay to cheat on your spouse after he or she dies? My logical thinking on this is...

Your husband's physical body dies. He remains alive in spirit. He is now a spirit. So remarrying someone else doesn't make any sense because ultimately that person is still alive! Now, if you're an atheist, and believe that once something dies, it's always dead, then fine, so be it, you should remarry and be happy with another person.

But isn't it essentially being unfaithful to your now dead spouse to remarry to someone because they died? I talked to a Mormon about this, and even in their strict religion's of essentially a three-tiered Heaven, it is okay for people in that religion to re-marry if their spouse dies.

Does nobody take life after death seriously or am I just missing something?

Also, on a slightly (un)related note, this topic reminds me of the movie Clue, and Ms White and her many late husbands.

The idea is that the Other is like an object of ownership. But obviously that wasn't the case until someone thought the relationship was closed off because they didn't discuss it

 

[Dawnofhope]

I wondered about the following quote so I was going to post a thread and ask the Baha'is to give me their opinions.

What do you think @Truthseeker , @TransmutingSoul , @loverofhumanity , @InvestigateTruth , @Dawnofhope

I believe it comes down to a personal choice for each of us to make having prayfully considered the Baha'i Writings and our personal circumstances. I generally refrain from advising from Baha'is whether they should or shouldn't remarry.

My personal circumstance is that I'm on my first marriage to someone who isn't a Baha'i or a member of any religion. We have adult children whom we support through their university studies. I don't spend much time dwelling on what I would do if my wife died. I suspect I would want to remarry but would struggle ro find a suitable partner.

 

[Alien826]

I agree that the Bible is plain (in Jesus' words) about there being no marriage in heaven. Come to think of it, if we are to be in spirit form, trying to be "intimate" would just result in our passing through each other. No fun in that!

Another thought. Imagine two people that get married and end up hating each other. True to their beliefs, they don't get divorced. Then they both die and go to heaven, to find they are stuck together for eternity. Sounds more like hell than heaven!

 

[Trailblazer]

I also don't think it is standard for religious widows to marry again in Bahai Faith. But maybe it was in Islam. Islam has a different culture though. I don't know about Christianity or Jewish culture with this regards.

No, I don't think it is standard (a requirement) for religious widows to marry again in Baha'i Faith, but are you saying it is not acceptable for Baha'i widows or widowers to remarry?

What do you think about the question I posed to the Baha'is?

Abdu'l-Baha wrote: "the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity…."

If that is a binding covenant, what happens if they remarry?

 

[Trailblazer]

In the Bible it's a sin to remarry, especially if you are the spouse who left.

But isn't that only if you got a divorce and then want to remarry?

 

[Trailblazer]

Another thought. Imagine two people that get married and end up hating each other. True to their beliefs, they don't get divorced. Then they both die and go to heaven, to find they are stuck together for eternity. Sounds more like hell than heaven!

That's why it doesn't work like that, not according to Baha'i beliefs. According to our beliefs, we gravitate words those who are on our own spiritual level, so if we were not spiritually connected to our spouse we might not even see that spouse in heaven.

 

[Exaltist Ethan]

That's nonsensical. That marriage dissolves at death in no way implies a denial of the afterlife. All it means is that you don't take your marriage with you.

That is something I did not fully realize when I made this thread.

 

[Trailblazer]

That is something I did not fully realize when I made this thread.

Nevertheless, I am glad you started this thread because it is been very useful and informative.

 

[Wildswanderer]

There's no marrying or giving in marriage in heaven.
So if married doesn't exist in heaven, what is the issue in remarriage on earth?
"For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven."

 

[InvestigateTruth]

No, I don't think it is standard (a requirement) for religious widows to marry again in Baha'i Faith, but are you saying it is not acceptable for Baha'i widows or widowers to remarry?

What do you think about the question I posed to the Baha'is?

Abdu'l-Baha wrote: "the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity…."

If that is a binding covenant, what happens if they remarry?

It depends. I think if they spiritually loved each other, she probably won't marry someone else later. If the married couple did not love each other much, then she would marry if she finds the right person.
It is a choice in Bahai Faith

 

[Jimmy]

I think religions really mean we all come back after the big death. Life after the big death.

 

[Alien826]

That's why it doesn't work like that, not according to Baha'i beliefs. According to our beliefs, we gravitate words those who are on our own spiritual level, so if we were not spiritually connected to our spouse we might not even see that spouse in heaven.

That's a relief!