Women do damage Men

[Cynic]

By the way, one study has said that all destructive behaviour in men has it origins in sexual rejection: Fot instance as related, physiological and psychological damge is initated-all ending in evasive behaviours.

K

Interesting stuff. Do you remember the source?

 

[Cynic]

funny you should relate that, as part of an experiment on an American University campus. The psychologist I mentioned, Micheal Cunningham, had a test group of students go arond asking girls if they would like to go back to their rooms with them and have sex. Every single girl approached thus, rejected the offer out of hand. ' The brutality of the rejections was amazing', he reported.

Cheers

K

Good, that means they have standards. The brutality of it was probably because they took it offensively.

 

[michel]

By the way, one study has said that all destructive behaviour in men has it origins in sexual rejection: Fot instance as related, physiological and psychological damge is initated-all ending in evasive behaviours.

K

Ah so that explains why I have this urge to mutilate red post boxes.........:biglaugh:

 

[Kowalski]

Interesting stuff. Do you remember the source?

I do indeed, Maxim mag, Oct04.

Cheers

K

 

[Kowalski]

Ah so that explains why I have this urge to mutilate red post boxes.........:biglaugh:

I have this awful urge to run a screwdriver down the side of my ex's car.....

Aha, and I'm not joking,

Cheers

K

 

[michel]

I have this awful urge to run a screwdriver down the side of my ex's car.....

Aha, and I'm not joking,

Cheers

K

I am sorry, Thinking about it, it was tackless to make a joke on this subject; I apologize. I seriously advise you not to do as you have indicated; the Law won't care a fig about the reason behind your vandalism.......

 

[Kowalski]

Hi Michel,

That's OK, it's an urge, one that I can resist. most of them time anyway. I shan't confess to all my sins in public.

Cheers

K

 

[Darkdale]

So, do you agree, rejection is damaging for men ?

I wouldn't know. But I'm just about the least sensitive and romantic person in the world, so, if I ever was rejected I would most likely just have a cup of coffee and hit on the girl in the coffee shop. Of course, if men are being "hurt" by rejection, maybe men should be learning what women actually like in a man. Some advice... BE A MAN... anyone getting hurt from being rejected was probably rejected for being the type of man that would get hurt from being rejected.

 

[michel]

I wouldn't know. But I'm just about the least sensitive and romantic person in the world, so, if I ever was rejected I would most likely just have a cup of coffee and hit on the girl in the coffee shop. Of course, if men are being "hurt" by rejection, maybe men should be learning what women actually like in a man. Some advice... BE A MAN... anyone getting hurt from being rejected was probably rejected for being the type of man that would get hurt from being rejected.

There is a lot of thruth in what you say..lol.

I think some of the problem lies in the fact that initial attraction is most often based on a sexual level (Ghosh, she looks nice..ect).

The trouble is that we are not necessarilly looking for the type to whom we are instantly attracted to as a lifetime partner.

I can't remember who said it, but it was once said that the tipycal Man was subconsciously looking for a virgin nymphomaniac . In the same way, I believe women do look for some sort of 'Macho Man'; the trouble with that trait is the fact that women who have been abused by men often take on a partner with the same character traits, again and again.....

 

[Darkdale]

Yeah, I think men and women lie to themselves about what they "really want", because everyone wants to seem enlightened in love, but the truth isn't really all that romantic. Men look for beauty, for empathy, for someone who brightens up their day, for someone who is good in bed and open to sexual exploration. Women look for a man who is strong, capable, confidant, powerful, wealthy etc...

Obviously we all compromise what we really want for love. When we fall in love, we look past the "shortcomings" of our partner etc. But, if this true, that men are really being hurt by rejection, then men just need to toughen up. I think being sensitive, at least for men, is a vice; or at the very least an unnecessary weakness.

 

[Kowalski]

How do you change your emotional makeup,seems to me, you would have to change who you are.

Wouldn't disagree with the rest of what you just wrote Darkdale. There is also a train of thought that women select partners on the basis of what is subconcioulsy thought to be an in built biological assement, that is whether they know it or not, are you good breeding material.

Cheers

K

 

[michel]

How do you change your emotional makeup ?

If you can, it is an uphill tast, I can assure you; I have been trying for a long long time. Emotions are hard wired into us from a very young age.

Yeah, I think men and women lie to themselves about what they "really want", because everyone wants to seem enlightened in love, but the truth isn't really all that romantic. Men look for beauty, for empathy, for someone who brightens up their day, for someone who is good in bed and open to sexual exploration. Women look for a man who is strong, capable, confidant, powerful, wealthy etc...

Obviously we all compromise what we really want for love. When we fall in love, we look past the "shortcomings" of our partner etc. But, if this true, that men are really being hurt by rejection, then men just need to toughen up. I think being sensitive, at least for men, is a vice; or at the very least an unnecessary weakness.

Actually, I have just remembered reading a book on this subject not long ago. We may think that we are well mentally developed humans (and some prefer to forget the animal after human), but when it comes down to it, we choose partners on a subliminal sexual basis ;- simply by "which woman" or "which man" will be the better provider, the better 'gene pool'....... I even remember there was some sort of correlation to face shapes, body shapes...etc. All very logical and boring.......

 

[Quoth The Raven]

That was almost as cruel as that one time on the Simpsons, when Moe goes up to a woman and says "May I have this dance?" and she goes "It's all yours" and walks away. See? It's funny when it happens to characters in a show.

Yes, but K said he was rejected 'Yet again'. Has she always been so, well, I'll put it nicely and say 'forthright' with her rejection, or has she progressively gotten more so with each rejection?
Sometimes you try to let people down gently in the beginning, but after they repeatedly don't get the message, it can get to the point when you feel you have to get a little nasty before they'll actually listen to what you're telling them.
There's only so many times you can be nice before you feel like slapping some guy in the head and saying, 'Oh, for the love of Pete, don't you bloody listen? It was 'no' to begin with, and now it's 'NO'.

 

[Kowalski]

Well, yes, again, and I have persisted when logically I know I shouldn't have. It goes against all I've ever learnt. That's more or less it, it was last Christmas when I gave it my best shot, and since that got nowhere, I did not bother again until now, maybe I thought things might have changed, but no. And maybe I just thought, worth another chance.

But in general, disregarding myself, I do think men suffer from rejections, just as girls suffer from people who don't take no as an answer. If you find some mutual loving, that's good, but a one sided desire is hopeless.

Cheers

K

 

[Bastet]

Everyone suffers from rejections - men and women. I don't think anyone assumed that men don't suffer when rejected, that they just shrug it off with an "oh well". Gender is irrelevant. I do think, however, that it is far easier on the rejecter than it is on the rejectee. At least it seems so to me, having been on both ends of that pointy stick.

 

[Quoth The Raven]

Well, yes, again, and I have persisted when logically I know I shouldn't have. It goes against all I've ever learnt. That's more or less it, it was last Christmas when I gave it my best shot, and since that got nowhere, I did not bother again until now, maybe I thought things might have changed, but no. And maybe I just thought, worth another chance.

But in general, disregarding myself, I do think men suffer from rejections, just as girls suffer from people who don't take no as an answer. If you find some mutual loving, that's good, but a one sided desire is hopeless.

Cheers

K

Oh, no, if you're happy to chance it, then trying again in case things have changed is entirely your perogative. Consider though what you'd be taking on getting involved with a person with so many issues. Other people's baggage can be a pain in the butt - to say the least - to have to endure (speaking as someone who took on a divorced man, I know what I'm saying), and some people cling to it like it's a life raft rather than deciding to let it go and swim toward the palm trees in the distance.
Actually - slightly off topic - one of the things I find annoying about women is this idiotic idea that men are a unique fixer upper opportunity.

 

[michel]

"unique fixer upper opportunity" ? could you explain ?

 

[Quoth The Raven]

"unique fixer upper opportunity" ? could you explain ?

Structurally sound, but with ample room for improvement.
Well, you know, he's a nice guy, but he could do with spending a little less time with his mates, and his dress sense leaves a little to be desired most of the time, so we'll deal with that (which is fine if he's happy to have his dress sense dealt with, but most guys are happy to mooch around in their jeans and runners most of the time), and this ritual of Saturday afternoon football can be dispensed with...getting involved with someone and then setting about changing them to make them 'exactly what I want'. I have a friend who has a weekend ritual of racing model cars - I don't know what he gets from it, but whatever spins your cogs - and my other friend said, before they got married,'That's going to stop after the wedding.' Strangely enough they're divorced now.
My other half occasionally does stuff that makes me insane - and I'm sure he'd say the same about me - but that's who he is, and if I can't accept him for who he is, then I've got no business trying to make him into something I do find acceptable.

 

[Kowalski]

Curious myself as to what that means. ' Unique Upper Fixer Opportunity'.

Well, I have to say, one thing is clear, it's easy to self-delude yourself in the face of the obvious, I suppose to what extent the self-delusion takes over is dependent on the strength of your desire for the unobtainable.

I have to say, when you do click, it's rapid and not drawn out.

Cheers,

K

 

[Malus 12:9]

After 30 years of rejection......and being played one grows accustomed to it. Then while the girls sit back with their boyfriends they laugh at people who have the misfortune of
not having a relationship.
PFM said it best. "Love Stinks". :banghead3